Summer Road Trip

Las Vegas
Mon 20 Jun - Sat 25 Jun
Today was full of swimming and laughter and children. I feel a little like miss hanigan. Speaking of, remember when my only request on this trip was to go to spring mt. Ranch and the show is sold out for all of June? My heart is sad.

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Day 3 - Starting Off Shaky, But I Think God Is Up To Something

Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Layla grace awoke with a small fever. That poor baby is so sensitive to trips. He gets dehydrated an has headaches an nosebleeds. We kept her home from VBS and stuffed her full of zicam and water. She us way better and we are now getting dressed to go.... Can you guess? Swimming.
Swimming was good times, especially after Jessica showed up at the right pool. Way to be on ball there Jess. Haha just kidding friend.
Also, I found a house to rent with a laundry shoot. Who could ask for anything more?

	Feeling better [Map]		Photo 1 [Map]
	Photo 2 [Map]

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Sent from my iPhone by My Vacation app (www.myvacationapp.com)

Summer Road Trip

Las Vegas
Mon 20 Jun - Sat 25 Jun
Today was full of swimming and laughter and children. I feel a little like miss hanigan. Speaking of, remember when my only request on this trip was to go to spring mt. Ranch and the show is sold out for all of June? My heart is sad.

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Day 2 - Day Two On The Alien Planet

Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The heat is for real as it turns out. Headaches and sleep induced comas are happening. As luck would have it, our old church's VBS is this week so we signed up the little kids- everyone except Izzy, is apparently too mature  it lasts all week and ends with a carnival on friday night! We took a dip in the pool and are now being vegetables at the Russo Inn.

	Addison is learning to swim! [Map]		We love the Russos very much! [Map]
	Layla grace spent the entire pool time practicing [Map]		Bored out of my eyeballs writing a paper on the st [Map]

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Sent from my iPhone by My Vacation app (www.myvacationapp.com)

Summer Road Trip

Las Vegas
Mon 20 Jun - Sat 25 Jun

Stopped at wendy's for fries and frosties. YUMO

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Day 1 - Through The Desert

Monday, June 20, 2011

So sleepy. The Man just left on a two week long work trip. I am praying I have to drive to Panaca, NV to retrieve him early because Nampa calls and asks hi to report to work.

Fingers crossed. Prayers on my lips.

The kids and I have to wrangle up a few last minute things for the trip, and I will be loading up on coffee before we head out on our trip to Vegas. Excited to see friends. Excited to leave when our trip is over. Should I be looking forward to that already?

Our trip was fairly smooth- no real tears, no punishments, no throwing up. Good times all around.

	We are leaving behind a house full of boxes. [Map]		Best buy to get accessories! [Map]
	Boring. Really boring. [Map]		The boys amuse themselves as they wait for the gir [Map]
	I came Soooo close to winning the big money! Sadly [Map]

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Sent from my iPhone by My Vacation app (www.myvacationapp.com)

13 I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!
14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!

Snort

If you can speak three languages you're trilingual.  If you can speak two languages you're bilingual.  If you can speak only one language you're an American.  ~Author Unknown

I came across this quote while doing research for my weekly homework assignment. I laughed out loud. Then I felt sad at how true this statement is. It also made me think of a quote The Man likes to throw out there when he speaks Hillbilly (his second language):

This is AMERICA! We speak American!


I laugh every time.

Summer

I am very excited for it to be summer vacation. Today is our first real veg it out day. I worked out and took my van in to the shop and have a silly list of things to accomplish, but everyone else is sprawled willynilly in front of the television. Some people say TV rots the brain. Some people raise their noses and say the TV shouldn't be a babysitter. To those people I say... well, nothing, but I step on the back of their shoes when they aren't looking.

JS. Jayehs. Just Saying.

The only thing going on now is homework. DIE HOMEWORK!! DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH!!

So Much Is Happening

• I began attending a new bible study. Excited to dive into the Old Testament.
• Addie is graduating from college...no, scratch that, kindergarten. It's easy to get confused with her.
• Sam is turning 5!!
• The man began a summer road construction job. Thank you Man. I know it sort of sucks.
• The end of the school year is here.
• My friend No(dot dot)el is coming home maybe to visit, maybe to stay forever.
• The new season of So You Think You Can Dance has begun. Good times. 
• We took a vacay to California visiting all the Targets between Sacramento and Monterey Bay. 

Now, I am going to bed. YAWN.
P.S. Three more classes and one night and I am done with my master's degree. Oh please oh please hurry. Double yawn.

Yeah, I've Got It

I want you to know that I completely have Bieber Fever. It's a real diagnosis. You know you have it if you:

• Break into a bout of Never Say Nevers randomly
• Have more than three Justin songs on your iPod
• Know at least half the rap by Jaden Smith
• Could see yourself in this shirt
• Watched the Justin B. movie and got teary at any point and/or
• at any point wish you could trade places with a tween just to enjoy his concert one last time.
• Have agreed to TXTL8R just because Justin asked you to

Yes. I've got it bad. I downloaded his entire acoustic album. The end.

Here Fishy Sing Along Songs

Sometimes we take our kids fishing on a whim. It's good family time. Izzy and I typically snuggle on a blanket; I read and she draws. We make fun of each other. Good times. The kids hang out with Michael as he baits and rebaits fishing hooks. You could say he is a master baiter.
Last night when all this took place, my youngest son Sam-I-Am decided he was too antsy to sit still, so when he got a bite on his line, I jumped up to help. Please understand that I do not fish. I don't understand it. It's boring. BUT I like my husband, and I like hanging out with him and my kids whilst I get to veg and read, so I go along.
It was all very dramatic- me fishing. I leaped up! I screamed and grabbed the pole in a dramatic fisher woman way. "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!" I yelled excitedly. I followed the first advice yelled back at me by Layla Grace," YANK UP THE POLE!" So I did. This, in case you are not a fisher, is incorrect.
I lost the fish. I was a disappointment to the Brewer household. So-much-so that they made a song about me. :/ Here it is:

Sam-O caught a fish
BUT Mamma jerked it off.

Repeat this stanza loudly and constantly until your mom makes you stop to get an idea of what it was like for me.
Next time I may stay home.

FYI

You shouldn't look like this. But that isn't what I came here to say. I just wanted to say, in case no one ever told you, taking time to care for yourself isn't selfish. Men don't think so; I believe this is only a motherly way of thinking. I was watching the Biggest Loser, which is something I do on Tuesdays, and a lady on there misguidedly said, "Sometimes you have to be selfish and take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't be available to take care of your family." I feel her first sentence was a commonly spouted statement. I feel like her second sentence actually disproved her first sentence.

What is so selfish about wanting to take care of my family? It's not as if I am hoping to care for them so they make me look good. Frankly when I go places with my children people look at me like I am insane, crazy, annoying, imposing, and just plane dumb. Not looking good.

I need to take care of me in order to take care of them. I want to take care of me because I want to feel healthy, and because I want my husband to think I am hot. I have to take care of me because God has made me a mother to five kids, and I don't shirk on a job that important.
I am not a martyr; God never asked me to slave and grovel and work until I nearly die just to care for everyone else around me. He asked me to love. I am not selfish. I am a giver.

Guilty Pleasure

I am addicted to Friday Night Lights the TV show. I MIGHT go to hell because it's a bit scandalous, but it's what I do to avoid the sleep. I don't like the days when my man is gone. COME HOME MAN!

Mother's Day is the Best

Especially when you are me and the wife of The Man and the mom of five pretty awesome short people. It started with presents. Really Really great presents: I got a new ring and some seriously fantastic earrings that I never plan on removing.
Then, we loaded up and took The Man to the airport (not my highlight by any means). Then it was bookstore time. See, here's the thing. The thing is. Let me explain something. I packed up Pastor's books to return to him, and I clearly labeled the box Louie (Not Louise, but The Man didn't notice that. So, he donated them to Goodwill with the other boxes marked Goodwill. Because I wasn't able to buy back ALL of the donated books belonging to Pastor, we stopped by Borders to see if they had that last one. They didn't. Instead they had clearance books out front for buy one get one free. Six books for $15. Awesome.
Next we headed to the mall to get my ring sized and took a turn in the food court and the Disney store where the kids each scored a little something from the clearance department. I got a keychain of Minnie Mouse in reading glasses that reads "Nerds Rule."

I also picked up the movie Tangled which makes me giggle and ensures a cozy night with my kids: my favorite sort of night. After lunch we headed to Yogurt Beach to meet up with my two big brothers and their wives and kiddos. We are quite a crowd: 14 of us altogether as we are sans The Man and my mother, who is in Omaha with my grandmother.
After that, we headed home where the girls created a homemade foot scrub and gave me a pedicure. Now, we are watching Tangled, and I am giggling- also, we are snuggling. On another, less happy note, the children have agreed that I look like the mother from Tangled. You know, the fake evil mother? Great.

Wheelin' and Dealin'

In keeping with my efforts to procrastinate my homework assignment as close to its due date as possible, I made a list for the grocery store and took my five children there. I do not recommend this. To know why click HERE. BUT, today I was feeling frisky. I woke a good two hours before I normally do on the weekend, (HA or any other day if we're being Frank) and we were accomplishing much on our errand outing. I had my coupons and list, so we headed for Smith's for their 10 for $10 sale. We got a silly amount of things that filled three shopping carts to the brim and bursting. We paid an average of $2 per item, which I realize isn't nearly as amazing as those couponing ladies, but considering I bought great cereal, organic milk, Naked Juice (cause who puts clothes on juice?!), toothpaste, Cheezits, a mega pack of multi-vitamin gummies, sunscreen, a year's supply of Bounce dryer sheets, and barely anything else that was under $2 to begin with, I would say that is some smooth wheelin' and dealin'. Next time I will be better prepared with coupons, but I am coupon newbie, so I don't yet have that stash to pull from. I DO however have a 'stache, so maybe I will get a waxing with the money I saved.

Frick Frack PHOOEY

Our television died. It has been a sad pending experience, but it still hurts now that it has happened. Aren't TVs supposed to last longer than two years? This time there were no Wii remotes thrown at the screen. This time it started smelling of burnt machinery and sending up wisps of smoke. This morning, when there was smoke and sparking, we knew it was a goner. Just like my favorite leisure activity. WAAAH! We seriously need jobs. It's dangerous to go so long without money. You know what happens? Your list of things to buy with your first paycheck gets longer and longer. Going to bed. gah.

Proof that God loves me: My husband called near and far and found a replacement part for our TV! That man has a direct link to God, I tell ya.  There isn't even SMOKE anyMORE!

Eavesdropping

I didn't mean to be an eavesdropper (where in the world did this saying come from anyway?), but I was sitting here minding my own business when Eli and Layla Grace began chatting.

Layla: EW Moby smells! Gross! (gag)
Eli: Layla, you better get used to that.
Layla: What? Why?
Eli: If you are going to be married, you need to get used to the smell.
Layla: What? Why? Gross.
Eli: Also, if you are going to get married you need to get used to Sam biting you.
Layla: What? WHY?
Eli: Cause Mommy and Daddy are married and Daddy bit her. They were laying in bed together and Daddy just bit her. Cause they are married.

Me in my mind: sigh. I blame my husband for this.

Responsibility Reschmonsibility

I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!

As I sit here refusing to get out of my bed a long list of responsibilities is running through my head. Incessant. Then, I look over and see my book and think to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be awesome to stay in bed all day and read this book?" Then I answer myself, "Yes. Yes it would."

But then my belly gets queasy with anxiety over procrastination, and I wimp out. This is me not wimping, but this is also me not at all sure where to begin! I need a life coach. Where is Jenn Russo when I really need her?! BAH! I think if she were here she would say, "Let's start by getting out of bed. Get dressed and do SOMEthing with that hair- for the sake of everyone with eyes, please. Then, make your bed, cause if you don't I will be thinking about it all day. Next we will eat breakfast, get coffee, and prioritize." Maybe I should just hang a picture of her next to my bed. Highly organized people offend me. OKAY FINE they don't; I am totally jealous of their self control. I heart Jenn Russo AND her organization skills.  So, this isn't a picture of her; I don't have a picture of her because she is all the way in Las Vegas, but this drawer is probably in her house. It looks like something she would do.

Thanks for the motivation, JR. I am going back to bed.

Sam At Bedtime. He got me again.

So. Samuel Fisher is a big movie quoter. Let's be real. If you are going to be one of the children in this house, you have to be a movie quoter. AGAIN he wasn't in his bed. I said, "FISH what are you doing?
 He said, in his best New York accent (which was phenomenal) "I WAS ON A SAFARI, BOB!" This is of course my favorite line from Return to Me delivered by Dick Cusack, John's and Joan's seriously awesome father. I cannot discipline under these circumstances.

My First Thoughts

Many times I will open my eyes seemingly instantly each morning with a thought in my head as if I have been mulling it over all night. Considering what "they" say about the short span in which dreams take place, this isn't likely, but still, it feels this way. I usually blog or write about those things or people who are my first thought of the day. This morning my first thought was more of a question followed with a barrage of answers.

Why aren't you on Facebook? 

Many of you have asked me this question and even rolled your eyes either to my face or behind my face at my answer. To be honest, you eyerollers come off as one convicted over my beliefs on something. You may want to look into that. I do not judge others for being a part of what usually seems like a pretty good time. But I stand by my belief that NOTHING (except God) is right for everyone. Here is what I know to be true:

• I threw out a quick prayer over joining Facebook and felt God oh so clearly say to me that I am not to be a part of it. The reasons have zilch to do with some evil powers lurking on the site; I simply have issues in my past that have the potential to be given leeway in this arena, and I am not in the business of giving potential issues leeway. It's not them; it's me. 
• I have heard several (and growing) pastors give sermons full of confessions and touching on addiction to Facebook. Really? Addiction? Maybe boundaries and self-control are difficult to maintain in the virtual world, but I assure you God would insist upon them.
• I have seen people return home, walk past loved ones, and check their Facebook page. Um.. 
• I have had a grown woman say, "I know we are sitting down to eat dinner, but I just need to check on my animals on Farmville real quick."
• I have stood in front of a grown woman attempting to have a conversation SHE began only to have her look at her phone and Facebook page the entire time. She made eye contact at the end to say, "talk to you later." To which I silently said, "I sort of hope not."
• I know a woman who made some seriously bad choices in her marriage and nearly lost her husband. She regularly chats with and is friends with a woman who struggles with the same issues and in fact was her cavorting buddy during her lowest times. I asked the woman about it, I asked the husband about it. She had nothing to say. He said, "I don't want to tell her who she can and can't be friends with." 

Now, these seem like extreme cases, but the more I live in this technologically connected world, I see it is the norm. I was having a conversation with some friends about this the other day. HE says he is only friends with people who live out of state because it's stupid to stay connected with someone you see all the time in person. I like this idea. His wife said we are nuts. I like her too, I just disagree when Facebook is involved. She went on to confess that she would invite me to more things if I were on Facebook. To which I said, "thanks for sort of proving my point." We laughed and I still like her. 

Finally, HE said a statement which I didn't realize I agreed with so much until it was out of his mouth. He said, "I don't want my wife being friends with all of my friends on Facebook. Why would I want her online chatting with guys? How is it different from texting? I don't want her texting my friends." Whoa. Sort of in your face. 

I trust my husband fully. Usually when my jealousy rears it's head it's because some super tramp is wafting her pheromones near my man and he is completely unaware. I am sure that is God's protection. I also know that the conversations between him and the people on Facebook are casual and not full of evil. Still, it seems as though others may consider this opening in friendship, even virtual, a link with him. I don't want women having a link with my husband. I will punch them in their faces, and that isn't very Christ like. Do you see my dilemma? Sorry if I offended you. Sort of.

It's Official

I am a certified teacher in Nevada AND Washington. Your move, God.

Conversations With Sam at Bedtime

I was tucking in Sam-I-AM who is four. He wasn't in his bed when I went up to tuck him in. We usually send them up and give them a few minutes to gather their nonsense and whatever else it is short people do instead of us standing there impatiently saying, "get in bed. get in bed. get in bed."

Now we give them time. Only, lately they have been running amok until we come up there and stand impatiently and say, "get in bed. get in bed. get in bed." Sigh.

Tonight, he wasn't in bed. Instead of yelling at him, I picked up Woody and held him very close to my face and calmly said, "Woody, when I send you to bed, I want to find you with your head on your pillow. Do you understand me, Mr.?" Sam was super giggly and got into bed. He picked up Woody and said, "YEAH! Do you hear me Woody?" giggles, "Now, you get to sleep with no pillow." Then he giggled and closed his eyes, in bed, on his pillow.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

I am in my bed with a bellyache, so I am watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days to make myself feel better. It's totally working. My favorite quotes so far:

You are a vision in khaki

You cannot name my member after a female

Our kids are really.......ATTRACTIVE

Watch it. You will be a better person.

BUUUURN

Sometimes I mock people. It may be easier to calculate the times I am NOT mocking rather than try to account for the times I AM mocking. I just enjoy making mock. Izzy is very nearly 13 and super good at making mock as well. She can dish it out and take it. Tonight she was mumbling some nonsense and making me giggle and ended with, "Your face is a log." Now, before I move on, you should know we often just repeat what others have said, but apply that attribute to whomever we are speaking.

Example:
Ellie Harrison after the decorative football on the cake fell over: Aw, poor football.
Addison: You're a poor football.
Me- giggle fitfully


So, in response to Izzy's funny log remark, I made up a joke. I told her, "Why don't you make like a bunny and get run over." Then she and I laughed hysterically. I realize some social worker is going to read this and be utterly torn whether or not to drive immediately to my door. I assure you, I do not want any harm to ever happen to my short children. I do however want them to think I am funny. I am totally winning.

I Am

• Officially half way through my master's program at Grand Canyon University
• Enjoying a pajama day filled with two cups of coffee, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, homeschooling, homework, and a husband who returned home from yet another trip
• Grateful my husband's job doesn't usually ask him to travel; I like him at my beckon call
  
• Fully in love with acoustic guitar music
• Wishing I were better at producing it, but realizing it is because I don't practice nearly enough
• 29 hours early with turning in my homework and feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities with my free time
• Thinking I am going to settle on showering, lesson planning for the remainder of the school year for those lovable high schoolers of mine, and a little guitar practice
• Needing to fully learn my song to sing A Capella
• Excited for Easter this year more than usual
• Going to watch Passion of the Christ
• Reading through Matthew with my short people and enjoying our conversations
• Really going this time, not like the kid on the Nestle Toll house Cookie commercials
  

I Can't Get Past This

Because this isn't the only place I write, sometimes I get stuck on a thought and can't get past it. This is something I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a particular Sunday morning and my issues on said morning. Welcome to my issues. I tried to prepare you all for the real fact that I am crazy and usually rotten. I would say I told you so, but that may not help my case to make you love me anyway.

This Sunday I cried through worship. I cried through the teaching. All the while, I struggled with what I was upset about. Rather, I bounced between my issues. My struggles were three:

The country of Japan has been devastated by an earthquake. My heart was so heavy for their loss and confusion during this time. All through worship I pictured one person, no one in particular. I thought, if one person was standing among the sea of that devastation, if one person was willing to raise her hands and worship at the top of her lungs, if one person was willing to worship in the face of so much death, God would save them. He is a good God, so maybe he will save them anyway, but it reminds me of that story of Abraham. God wanted Abraham to go into the city and find someone, ANYone worth saving, and if that happened, he would not destroy the land. It didn't happen. He couldn't find even one who was worthy. But perhaps Japan has at least one person willing to say, "I love you, Lord. No matter what I see before me, no matter what the news tells me, no matter what my own understanding tries to make me believe, I love you, Lord." As I cried in church, I willed that one person to take a stand. I hope it happened.

Number two: a girl spoke today of her story of God's miraculous salvation. She was referring to her literal salvation of her life, not her soul. Now God has given her both. God healed her through a surgery and did it for free. Her story was so miraculous as she went from her literal death bed to the 6 o'clock news where she shared that she asked God for a miracle, and he said, "Sure. Thanks for asking." Her faith is bigger than mine. She is from the poor population of Indonesia. She has faced serious struggles. She has looked God and death head on and said her peace. She is a decade younger than me. Her faith is bigger than mine. I cried because when I again asked God to forgive me for my small faith and worry, he said yes. I said, "I am lame." He gave me a head pat and said, "I know." But he finished it with a smile that proves he loves me in spite of all that. I am grateful.

Third: I was mad. I do not get angry with God often. While I may tend to get quippy when I argue, it's a little disrespectful to be a smart pants to God, so I try to tone it down. Instead I made an angry face and yelled at him in my mind.

Me: WHAT is your plan?! I want answers.
God: I know.
Me: Great, so let's get this show on the road. This is very aggravating!!
God: I know.
Me: Good come back!!
God: I know.
Me: You are making me angry.
God: I know.
Me: You are asking too much of me.
God: I know.
Me: sorry I yelled, I was acting out.
God: I know.
Me: I am self absorbed. People are dying and lives are being devastated, and I am whining. I am sorry. I love you.
God: I know.
Me: Good come back. I mean it this time.
God: I know.

Maybe I Should Sleep

My eyeballs are burning in my face right now after working on resumes and applications and school work and homeschool work and writing hand written letters to 7 Asian students. I do not mean to say I just sit and write willy nilly to Asians; these are actually my students. They will be expecting things from me in the morning. They will expect me to be patient and teach them. They will expect for me to at least act like I know more than them so I can impart my wisdom. Maybe I should sleep. I have been thinking this for hours. Then, I remember some undone responsibility. To help me get my work done, I turn on the TV to keep me company. I don't work nearly as fast as when the TV is off, so I find I am up until today turns into tomorrow, and my eyeballs are burning in my face. Maybe I should sleep. I think this post is written in several tenses, but I am too tired to edit it properly. Maybe I should sleep.

One Day

I will be published on more than the internet

I won't be terrified of lice

I will have arm muscles

I will go overseas with that man-o-mine

I will get caught up on my scrapbooking

I will have a TV that doesn't shut off willy nilly

I will successfully convince people to use the word bunk

I will have my own garden

I will drive a Karmann Ghia


I will laugh so hard it hurts

I will order room service in my hotel room because the book I am reading is too good to stop

One day.

Things I Like, Like: 'cause we were roomates in college

Friends- the show and my real ones

Saturday morning bible study

Coffee at said function, and anywhere really

My laptop

Worship time and the music that goes with it

Books in a series when it's a well written story

Quilts

How Addison shakes her leg to the beat of any Taylor Swift song;
it's more of a knee pop

Really amazing books that challenge me to be a better Christian and less self absorbed

The fact that I can say things to my friends and know that if they are judging me, they are trying not to and want to love me anyway

Thrift store finds- happiness

Acoustic guitar paired with good lyrics and a good vocalist aka Rebecca Brown

Mike Brewer.. I think we have been over this; try to keep up, people

Always Will Be Yours

This song reminds me of Hebrews 13:8 when we are reminded that God is the same God of yesterday, today, and the God that is to come. It reminds me of the reoccurring analogy of Jesus and his bride and marriage. It also reminds me of The Man. I like that guy. He isn't as obsessed with music and lyrics as I am, but I totally dedicate this song to him anyway. It's by a guy named TJ McCloud, who I totally dig.


As if you didn't know
As if I could ever hide what I'm feeling
You've got me reeling
I'm just so in love with you

Like some sort of fairy tale
Or a coin in a wishing well
This happy ever after,
It feels like it's coming true

From the first to the last
Every moment we'll ever have
I'll be there, you be sure

Cause I have been, I am
And I always will be yours
Every dream, every hope that I had
You're so much more
Cause I have been, I am
And I always will be yours

From the first word you said to me
I knew I was meant to be in your arms
Heart and soul, baby
I give my whole life to you

From the first to the last
Every moment we'll ever have
I'll be there, you be sure

Cause I have been, I am
And I always will be yours
Every dream, every hope that I had
You're so much more


Every smile, every tear
Yeah, this heart just won't beat
Without you being near

Cause I have been, I am
And I always will be yours

Looking back through all of this time
I've been waiting for your love to find me

Cause I have been, I am
And I always will be yours

15 Years of That Man O'Mine

Today, March 23, is our 15th wedding anniversary. We are celebrating with him in the Oakland airport flying home from Seattle the round about way and me on my bed homeschooling children. To make everything better, I bought a shirt that reads I HEART MY HUBBY. All is right with the world again. Or, it will be as soon as he gets here to see that I am an athletic supporter.

Additionally, I have compiled a list of things I like about that guy.

1. He is hot. Seriously. Not many girls can say that about their husbands after nearly two decades of being together.
2. He loves me for me. He doesn't care if I have hay-stack hair, make-up under my eyes from two days ago, or mismatched socks. He loves me.
3. He is an amazing father. He lets my kids crawl all over him, he sets an example of what a man ought to be, and he reminds them to be respectful to their mother. Because of who he chooses to be, my girls will know what it means to be loved properly, and my boys will know how to love their wives.
4. He will watch Twilight with me. It has less to do with the movie than the fact that he will watch a chickish flick with me without griping.
5. He will eat leftover chicken wings in bed with me. That may sound like a euphemism, but I mean it in the most literal sense.
6. He will eat leftover chicken wings in bed with me. I know that sounds delicious, but this time I mean it as a euphemism. Please don't ask me to explain; I couldn't even if I knew what it meant.
7. He works. Over the past thirteen years of being parents, he has been willing to work three jobs and do anything in his power to make it so I can stay home with my kids. Again, this is something many girls cannot say about their men. Take a word of advice boys. Hardworking men are a turn on.
8. He is an athletic supporter. He encourages me to take care of myself, finish school, and chase after my dreams. And he doesn't do any of these things because of what he will get in return. He just supports.
9. He can cook. True this wasn't always something he knew he could do, but I completely appreciate this new found talent. Especially when it is the form of garlic bread.
10. He misses me when I am gone. Maybe a lot of boys miss their girls, but he tells me. It only makes a difference when you know.

Back In Reno Sans The Man

Washington is truly a beautiful state. Well, the 30 mile radius we visited. Beautiful. We got to be a little touristy and visit the Pike(s) Place(s) Market(s)*. Most of it was closed, but it was amazingly clean. After living in Nevada for so long, I am not sure how I feel about living in a place with no nudity and no garbage strewn about. I DID have my picture made beneath the very first Starbucks sign ever hung, but the line was too long to get a drink. The sun even peeked through the clouds and shooed them away at one point. Beautiful. My hair was remarkably tame, but that may be false advertising. My favorite part was the endless chatting my friend No(dot dot) el is able to keep up with when we talk over coffee and blankets. I could have spent a week with her and not caught up with the last two years. Thank you friends for being the sort of people who can simply pick up where we left off being friends. Thanks for driving us around and letting us have a room at the Scofield Inn. And thanks for getting my jokes. You are a rare breed.

*I realize there are no esses on these words. That is my ode to Moses, the tallest man.

Why I Like Mike #28

He is taking me to Washington to see what it's like to smooch there, have coffee there, see friends there, and see how big my hair gets there. My guess is this.

See yas.

The Neighbor.. Again

I am considering making Dillan a regular on my blog. That kid is a hoot. Like a really funny owl. He knocked on my door when the kids and I were gone, and only The Man was home. Remember when Dillan is nine?

The Man: Hey Dillan; what's up?

Dillan: Hey. Can Eli play?

The Man: No, sorry. He isn't home right now.

Dillan (pauses): Are you guys moving to Washington?

The Man: Well, it's a possibility.

Dillan (with the straightest face EVER): Like, how much? What's the percentage?

The Man (stifles giggle in the face of the most serious 9yo in the world): Uhm, I can't really say, Dillan. We just have to wait and see.

Dillan: Why don't you guys move to Sacramento? At least if you move to Sacramento I can see Elijah when I visit my grandma in the summer.

The Man: Well, I have applied there too; maybe we'll get lucky.

Dillan: What are the chances? Can you give me a percentage.

The Man (clearly bested by a child): I just don't know, Buddy.

Dillan: Why are you guys moving anyway?

The Man: Well, I lost my job. I got laid off. So, I have to go somewhere that can give me a job.

Dillan after a VERY heavy sigh: See, this is why I hate the government.

The Man: Me too, Buddy. Me too.

The Things You Learn

Through all of this lay off crapola (yes, it is a word. Look it up. If it isn't there, get a new dictionary.) I have realized a few things about myself:

I do not like to exercise or keep to my schedule (hence my load of laundry, my list of books read, and my once again chubby belly. BAH)

Also, I am an emotional eater (hence, my chubby belly and the ever growing pile o junk food)

Finally, I use hence more often. hence.

To stick to my plan of yelling (in my mind) SUCK IT SATAN as often as possible, I am going to continue training for this half-marathon. Today, I am attempting five miles. This is ambitious in a way I cannot clearly convey because A) I run like Phoebe (please see above) 2) I haven't done more than a mile at a time in the last month and D) Running is boring. GAH!

UPDATE: I ran a mile and my treadmill broke. Great. Awesome. Stupid.

BAH

I do not sleep well when my husband is out of town. My mind goes a gazillion miles per hour and no longer coincide with my body schedule the second The Man leaves the city. Yesterday, he and some other boys drove to Nampa, Idaho to test for their fire department. I made my kids tuck me in for a change of pace and read Water for Elephants until my eyes were bleary. About three hours into the middle of the night, I awoke and couldn't go back to sleep. I turned my side table lamp on and finished reading. That's making lemonade out of lemons. It was truly happiness. In addition to finishing my book in about two days, I came up with this list of nonsense beating down my proverbial door:

• Make a list; keeping this stuff in my mind is making me crazy
• Pick up nonsensical degree verification form from University of Phoenix
• See if Whole Foods accepts food stamps, cause I really like their pop tarts and salmon
• Get boxes
• Pack master bedroom closet- after heavily junking most of it
• Plan songs for bible study worship time
• Practice song for Sunday, communion
• Get fingerprints fingerprinted AGAIN and mailed out
• Compile application bits and mail out for WA teacher certification
• Fill out applications for teaching next year in about ten different school districts
• Return the pile of books I seem to have accumulated from Pastor Lou
• Find a new book to read, 'cause this one is almost finished
• Update calendar
• Shower (yes. I put it on my list)
• Switch the laundry before it goes rank
• Send No(dot dot)el my itinerary for our trip to visit her
• Send a reminder text to weekend babysitter
• See if anyone wants to be entertained by one of my kids for the weekend
• Send encouraging texts to The Man
  
• Send out a newsletter for Hands of Hope Missions
• Make a few phone calls for student sponsors for HOHM
  
• Sleep, I think my sleeper is broken
• Fix alarm clock, it's still blinking from our power outage
• Plan menu for the week
• Work on homework
• Grade papers
• Update online grading system for my students
• Trade lives with someone with a smaller list
  

Dear Brian

Jayehs. Now I am on top.

Neighbors

Sometimes you hear horror stories about neighbors. We certainly have our fair share of weirdos on our street, the least of which is one neighbor with an uncanny resemblance to Kirk from Gilmore Girls. But, this week, I was reminded why neighbors can be awesome. The following conversation took place between me and the 9 year-old-oh-so-innocent boy next door. I love him, and I will cry if we have to move away from him.

Me: Hey, Dillan, come on in. Eli is almost done with his school work. You can go upstairs to his room and play, or you can work on any homework you have here at the table.
Dillan: I finished my homework last night. I think I will head up to Eli's room and practice my recorder.
(SIDE NOTE: yes, Dillan uses phrases like "head up to.")
Me: OK
Three minutes pass and Dillan is again downstairs.
Dillan: Uh, Ms. Shontell? I can't practice my recorder because my A hole is clogged.
Me: (splutter, choke, gagging back laughter)
Izzy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAH choke. die.

Nuhm-bers

2 The number of m's on Taco Bell's "Coming Soon" sign. Sigh. It's as if they hate me.

3 The number of Gilmore Girls episodes I watched in bed yesterday

1 the number of papers I wrote this week (all in all not many)

2 the number of newsletters I am supposed to write and publish this week

10 the number of random things that keep bouncing through my brain at 6:30 am because I keep forgetting to do them

2 the number of needles my sewing machine ate as if to say "in your face loser."

10 the number of cold piggies attached to the end of my feet

61 the number of degrees my city will be tomorrow :) I am excited.

10 the number of days until my man and I fly out to Seattle

5 the number of kids we will be leaving behind for said trip

11 the approximate number of minutes The Man has been on hold with Southwest Airlines to change his return flight

5 the number of kisses I received (along with hugs)after having a much needed mommy break

2 the number of days a week I am tutoring a middle schooler

62 the number of times Erin Harrison and I had to lift boxes of IKEA furniture to get them delivered securely to Ellen Egan's condo. Please keep in mind there were only four boxes. There were also 2 elevators and about a gazillion floors between her car and her front door. Also a ramp, or as I like to call it, my nemesis.

Sam

Scene: the dinner table mid-dinner somewhere between threat and punishment number 11 all geared toward Samuel (4 years old).

Me: Sam! Sit UP, son. Have manners or leave my table.
Sam: (in a super sweet voice, just quiet enough to blend in with the other three conversations happening at my table) you are stupid.
Me: (eyes narrow, teeth clench, spanking hand revs up!)WHAT did you just say to me?
Sam: (in an even sweeter OH-how-I-love-you-voice)You are pretty. (followed by the smile of innocent)
Me: I do NOT think you just said that. I THINK you said a bad word, and if you do NOT stop talking like that you WILL find a bar of soap in your mouth.
Sam: (suddenly sober and straight faced) OK. sorry.
My husband: (crawls into his shirt so he can laugh hysterically for the entire conversation.)
Me: (heavy sighs directed at both of them.)

Don't Ask if You Don't Want to Know

I often tell my children not to ask questions if they don't want to know the answers. Do I look cute? Well, I would change....
Do these jeans make my butt look fat? A little.
Do you think I am rude? Sometimes.
DON'T ASK if you don't want to know. This is a motto that could never be said enough. So, when the douche bags at Bank of America asked me what I thought of my last customer service experience, I told them:

Over a decade ago, Bank of America "shined" when money was taken out of my account by mistake (YOUR mistake, not mine) and my checks bounced. That happens. Computers get crazy. What is not OK is how little your bank was willing to do to help. I worked hard to let everyone I know how little I care for your style of banking.

Now, against our wishes, you acquired our loan when our original lender went out of business. My husband and I are full-time students. We have five small children, and I work part-time as a teacher. My husband has served as a firefighter and a city worker for the previous seven years. We do not pay bills late. We teach our children that integrity and character are a person's greatest assets. Our reward for choosing to live this way is your customer service. Super. My husband was laid off from the fire department. I called to see if there was any help you had to offer, and instead you made me speak to the most unhelpful person birthed in all of America. I asked to speak to a supervisor or manager and was told there was nothing she could do. (Just so we are clear, that is why I asked to speak to a supervisor or manager.)

My favorite moment may have been when I explained our situation, and she repeatedly told me the only help she could offer me was 31% off of my bill. WOW!? I thought, really? Oh, wait, she followed that up EVERY time with, but you do not qualify for that. Hmmmm. Maybe I am not understanding. So, I repeated what she said to me, and she replied something along the lines of yes, that is what I can offer you, only you don't qualify. I asked how I would have qualified, and she said if only we had taken our loan out in January rather than April. I don't actually know what this means. Does the month of my application alter the level of need?

I don't mean to brag, but I am fairly educated, but I was not able to make sense of what she was offering me. She had no answers; how am I supposed to have answers? I am not a trained Bank of America employee, but clearly if she is the standard by which I have to appear successful, maybe I could be, even without training. Her final word on the matter was her willingness to help us make a payment plan for all of our late payments. Well, thanks, but remember when we don't have any? So you can pat yourselves on the back that you have yet again been unhelpful. You have AGAIN proven that you are the sort of company that cares more about the money and working the system in your favor than your customers. And, my parting words will be thank you for being consistent. I wish I could think of something more, but I was also raised to say nothing if the only thing you can think of is rotten.

The end.

Damn You Auto Correct

So, I firmly believe God saves really funny finds for the low times. I cannot say how many times I am laughing so hard I am crying as I read through this blog. It's a place for people to post funny accidental auto-corrects that happen on their iPhones. OH so inappropriate. This one may be my new favorite.

Frugal MaGoo

That's my code name.

My friend Jessica Locke introduced me to the world of couponing on a whole new level. She invited me over for a one on one tutorial of how to work the neighborhood Walgreens for the best deals. There is some planning involved, but these crazy ladies make it a lot easier. Check out these websites for some smokin' deals:

Totally Target
Wild for Wags
Discount Queens
Frugal Coupon Living

These are my favorite. There are some repeat deals, but worth looking into. Now that The Man is nearing the receipt of his final paycheck, I am trying to do whatever I can to lessen our bills. Turns out, we paid as little as possible for several perks in our house. Since we are in contracts with several of them, I am trying to find other ways to cut corners. I am working on paying little or no money for toiletries, cleaning supplies, and medicine. I have done two shopping trips to Walgreens, and here is the damage I have done:

• 2-packs Jello (what!? Can we have NO luxuries?!)
• 1-9pack roll of toilet paper-Quilted Northern, the good stuff
• 2- jars Jiff peanut butter
• 1-pack floss
• 2- Tilex bathroom cleaners
• 1- 27 pack of Goody Ouchless Black rubberbands
• 1-6oz tube of Colgate Total toothpaste
• 2- 3-in-1 Purex laundry detergent-softener-dryer sheet (40 loads worth)
• 1- 60 count pack of bobby pins
• 1-18pk feminine hygiene products
• 1-pack "special lotion" (WHAT!? CAN we have NO luxuries?!)
• 1- Dove deodorant
• 1-package of old school emery boards
• 4- boxes of Kleenex

TOTAL= $43.88

Savings= $38.23

The only things on here that are purchases I would not normally have done were the Jello, which after two coupons, cost me $1 altogether and the Purex laundry detergent, which I got totally free. This is where my friend Amanda Volpa would say, "Bazinga."

Keep the Sabbath

Keeping the Sabbath is vital to my well-being. It's vital to yours as well or the Bible wouldn't tell you to be a part of it. Actually, it says to remember it. So, each Sunday, I relax, rest, remember, reflect, and usually I read. Today I am sort of doing all of those. Yesterday, my shuggah-mamma, Erin H. agreed to peruse the book store with me. Then, she bought me books and a desk-top Office quote of the day calendar. One of the books is by a favorite author, Rob Bell. This one is called Drops Like Stars. I started it when I got home today, and I finished it about an hour later just before I dozed for a nap. Also very sabbathy. Here is the best quote from the book (He is talking about pain and agony in everyday life and how that correlates with Jesus' sacrifice):

It's there, in the agony of those moments, that we get the first glimpses of just what it looks like for God to take all of our trauma and hurt and disappointment, all those fragments lying there on the ground, and turn them into something else, something new, something we never would have been able to create on our own.

It's in that place that we're reminded that true life comes when we're willing to admit that we've reached the end of ourselves, we've given up, we've let go, we're willing to die to all of our desires to figure it out and be in control. WE LOSE OUR LIFE, ONLY TO FIND IT.

The end.

Psalm 127

For anyone who doubts that reading your Bible is not worth the time, I have to disagree. Now, I know what you are thinking, "Of course reading the Bible is worth my time." But tomorrow morning you follow that up with, "UGH, I just don't have time to read my Bible." Sort of two different sentences, but sort of not.

We all have the same amount of time, really. It's what we put as our greatest priority that gets our resources, time, focus, and energy. I say all of this not to point fingers (although mocking IS one of my gifts), but to give you the opportunity to call me a loser to my face when, in a couple weeks, I say, "MAN, I have been having a hard time making time to read my Bible." You will know that, that translates to, "I am so awesome; reading the Bible isn't worth my time." (Insert long, stoopid faced sighing.) This morning, I am being honest with my cool level. It is low. Oh so low. So I read my Bible. Psalm 127 and laughed at how blunt God can be to let me know he is talking to me. Then I was encouraged, which is just what I was looking for.

Psalm 127 (The Message)

A Pilgrim Song of Solomon (to be fair not everyone agrees he wrote this.)

^1-2 If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.
If God doesn't guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?

^3-5 Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.

I want God to be the lone builder of this establishment. Therefore, I must seek. He promises me peaceful sleep and reminds me my children are a true gift.
I am blessed; my quiver is bursting at the seems.

Now, I get to go encourage and love others. Also, I am going to remember to count my blessings. I should have plenty of time to do this because God is my protector, my provider, my God. I do not trust in him in vain.

Doubt

OH THE DOUBT.
Where do you stuff it when it is too big to fit anywhere inconspicuously?
So, suckiness is happening. My first reaction is a desperate need to have an answer to the questions.

Then, I said, "Lord help me not to need answers."
This is the toughest spot I have ever found myself in. God has equipped me to be a problem solver, a leader, a go-getter, a warrior, a take-no-crap-from-nobody girl. He has also created me just as he created everyone else: in need of Him alone.

So as I look around me, I am scrambling to find that sweet spot in the center of the scales. That place that I can remain without tipping the balance too far in my direction. That place that means I give over and give in so I can lean in to God and not on me. That place that seems impossible to see because I am clouded. I can only see immediate and worry. I want to see that place. I am afraid it isn't going to come in one sweeping movement though. It is likely to come in super small steps and be there long before I realize. That is usually how it works. I cannot do that; I can only be available for that.
So, I just get to do what I can to keep on that path. I just get to be obedient in the little things. This is where my scandalous friends would tell me to pull up my big girl panties and deal.

Well, I AM DOIN' IT! Don't watch though. I don't do well with an audience.

Meloncholy- My Man Got Laid Off Today. Big Sigh.

So many times when you go through tough times you hear people say really great encouraging words. You may even think them yourself. You may do a good job at keeping perspective. You may have great faith and confidence in what God has for you. And still, you can feel melancholy through it all.

It's good to remember that having strong faith in God's plans for you doesn't mean you have to be an annoying cheer leader or super bubbly all of the time. You don't have to have an incessant fake smile on your face.

You can be sad. You can grieve for what you have lost. You can need some time to just be. You can do all of this and still BE all of that up there. There is certainly a fine line between this behavior and really falling off the edge into depression. This melancholy is short lived; it's a healing process- not a check out.
So for now, I want to just be melancholy and wait for God to do what he is gonna do.

Conversations With Addison (the crazy one)

Addison: If Justin Beiber lived with us, and our house was really old and small, he would design my new room and I would love it.
Me: um. I feel weird.
Addison: swooon.

Storm by Lifehouse

how long have i been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
waters getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if i could just see you
everything would be alright
if i could see you
this darkness would turn into light

and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright

i know you didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am i ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause i'm so used to living underneath the surface

if i could just see you
everything would be alright
if i'd see you
this darkness would turn into light

and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright

and i will walk on water
and you will catch me if i fall
and i will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and now everything is alright
everything's alright

Pictures of Happiness

Elijah and Samuel trying on hats. Fit like a glove, clearly. We had a race the entire trip to see if the girls could ever make it out of the bathrooms before the boys. The only time we thought we had won, we sat smug and excited outside the bathrooms. About five minutes later, we realized the boys were in the store next to us doing this. Losers. I mean stupid kids. I mean weirdos. I mean..never mind. I have competition issues.

OK, this doesn't show up so much in the pictures, but the resemblance between the teeth on these two is UNcanny. Unreal. They are brothers. Clearly.

I don't understand what Samuel thinks I am saying, but when I say, "SAY Happy DISNEYland," so that everyone is smiling on the word happy, he must hear, "Sam, be as weird as possible." To which he internally replies, "check."

This was such a fun, and long awaited, trip. We are a tad poorer, but with all the pending rottenness coming up, I wouldn't have done anything differently.

I Am

going to attempt to run three miles tomorrow. Some of you are thinking big deal. You people clearly don't know my limits. You people clearly have not seen me run. It will not be pretty, but I am going to run for three miles. There is a chance I will die directly afterward. It has been swell. Good night and big balls.

NO pictures just yet

BUT here are a couple of tidbits from our trip:

the drive there wasn't as terrible as we thought it would be.
the ride home was.
Big Thunder Mountain was the favorite roller coaster of the weekend. Loved by even the smallest little Brewer.
EVERYONE agreed Pirates was the best ride EV.ER.
Mickey Mouse ice cream heads are from Jesus.
Four year olds are still grumpy even in the happiest place on earth.

Conversation recap between The Man and Sam Fisher (4) after eating ice cream-
The Man: Sam, you have ice cream in your nose. How do you get ice cream IN your nose?
Sam: Do you really want to know?

They do not sell spanking spoons or harnesses at the happiest place on earth.
My teenager isn't a punk whilst in the happiest place on earth.
Five is a lot of kids, but one more would have made for a lot less hassle when we were trying to figure out who was riding with whom every half hour. Someone was always left alone.


Conversation recap between The Man and Sam Fisher (4) while driving over hill and dale along the 395-
Sam: WHOA those hills almost make my wiener tickle!!!
later on one of the rides in a not at all quiet voice-
Sam in fits of giggles- That one really DID make my wiener tickle!!

In vehicle dvd players are from Jesus.
We make sad faces when our favorite rides are closed: Splash Mountain and Mickey's Toontown.
Fireworks at the happiest place on earth are the best in the world.
Captain Jack is still sort of hot even in wax form.

What Are You Doing This Weekend?

WEEEE are going to this place. See you later alligators.

Why I Like Mike #27

Right now we are in bed with our laptops on our...well, our laps after a long night of studying. He has taken a break to:

google my name- he is clearly impressed by how many pages I take up.
play hearts on his 'puter
and, check out The Pioneer Woman website.

He is mine ladies. back off.

2011

My list of things that will change in the coming year seems so much smaller than usual. One year, The man and I rattled on for hours of all the things that would happen. I guess the only thing I can figure is I am focused. This year marks the beginning and end of a few major events.

This year

I will graduate AGAIN, but this time I will be a master. (If I only had a wand!!)

My husband will become a paramedic/firefighter

My husband will either lose his job, or he will keep it. Either way that's a big deal.

My children will all become school aged children. My baby will turn five.

That means he will start kindergarten.

We will be involved in some capacity in a mission trip to Africa.

My daughter will become a teenager. A real one. Sigh. I am not ready for this.

The Squirrel will get her two front teeth.

and, I will run a half-marathon (and by run, I mean ride the pony called the sag wagon over the finish line.) Please, call me Forrest.

What have you got planned for this year? Make it a good one.