thank you Lord

"for God so loved the world that he didn't send a committee."

thanks for enduring me, Lord. sorry it will take longer than the Israelites. :/
all prayers welcome.


oh yah.... and we are having a..... BOY! :)

baby?

soooo we spent all day on the phone with insurance regarding vasectomies and ultrasounds. what did YOU do today?
we get to find out our baby gender on thursday....any wagers.
i say girl. dont tell the man i said that! :/

this just in!

as i am sitting here typing, i hear this strange conversation.

layla- eli can i smell your fingers
all eyes whip around to her.
dh- layla, why do you want to smell your brother's fingers?
layla- cause i wanna see if they smell, if he has been digging in his butt.
:0 WHAT!!
long pause
layla- they smelled last night.
eli-thats cause i was digging in my butt last night.

visual-during this entire conversation eli is happily shoving his fingers into layla's face.

you kiss your mother with that mouth

conversations with eli..with interjections of clarity by layla

riding along in our blue mobile-
eli-chloe brought a friend to church today and she was wearing a yellow shirt and i dont know who the hell she was, but she was in our clas...
me- >:0 what did you just say?
eli- i said chloe brought a friend to church and she was wearing a yellow....
me-no, i heard you, i just want you to tell me the words you said.
eli- (in a real slow you-are-a-little-dense-voice)* I SAAAAAID CHLOOOOOEEEE BROOOUUUGHT.....
me- ELI! you dont need to talk slowly to mommy, i want to know....
layla interrupts in a sudden and strange southernish accent- he said who in the hell. he said who in the hell. he didnt know who in the HELL...
me- AARRGH!!! STOP SAYING IT!! ::blink blink:: do you guys know the word hell is a bad word when you use it like that.
::silence::
i repeat.
kids-quiet and quickly- no.
me- okay well, you know now, so no more of that. let's listen to music and take a break from stories for a little while. (had to move mirrors so kids couldnt see me cracking up)

*i wonder where he picked up on this tone....hmm. dad's can be such a rotten influence aye? :)

it's beginning to look a lot like......

the holidays. :) aren't you all fuming that i said happy holidays rather than merry christmas. my sil ( sis-in-law) and i were discussing the funniness we feel toward the WAR ON CHRISTMAS! i feel like i need to growl out an attack noise everytime i say that.
and now all i am saying is WHO CARES?!! give peas a chance people.
on msnbc the other night three people (a priest, a christian advocate, and some other man - a little bit this sounds like the start of a great joke, aye?)
anyhoo. they were discussing the presidents cards he sent out this year and the fact that he chose happy holidays as his greeting rather than merry christmas.
advocate- (the shontell short and funnier translation SSFT) this is an outrage! he is a prodistant and people need to be hearing the words MERRY CHRISTMAS, not happy holidays. he is doing this for political gain. (side note-uum he is already in office...and cant be elected again. he could go all "bill clinton" and be, well.....bill clinton if he wanted) if i got a card from the president that said happy holidays, as a christian, i would be outraged!
priest- wow, if i got one i wouldnt open it and say "what the HECK! happy holidays?" i would say "HOLY COW I GOT A CARD FROM THE PRESIDENT!"

and in the wise words of my sil "i wouldn't even care if someone said happy hannukuh, i would just be happy that when they were talking to me, it was nice!"

"This place reminds me of Santa's workshop. Except here it smells like mushrooms and everyone wants to hurt me."-Buddy the Elf

wow

it tool me twenty minutes to open this stinkin page and now i dont really have anything to say. i am ready for a nap. mostly cause i stayed awake too late making my christmas list :) and because both babies (my inny and my outy) decided they were hungry at 5:30 this morning.

i miss being here though. much has happened since i have posted last. the worst is that marie knows more about what goes on in blog-land than i do. :/ how sad. i am so out of the loop of life. siiigh.
i have started my second trimester of baby hood and all is going well with a confirmed ONE baby in there, so all of your comments have permission to cease. :)
in addition, my fourth child has celebrated her 1st birthday (YAY ADDIE) :)
i have started a new job
in turn, the man has quit working at the Depot (and for your info, they dont offer an employee discount. isnt that strange. in the words of my sister "why would someone want to work there? to be close to tools?")
kay, gotta go, the man is on snow plow patrol and they could be calling for him. hopefully see you at church

::sniff::

my little boy is growing up.

conversation with Eli and my mother in law

eli: hmm. that's weird. (furrowed brow)
MIL: what's weird?
eli: my penis won't lay down.
MIL: uuh.well, just leave it alone. i am sure it will in a little while.

me: ROFL!!!!

funnier

If I could have dinner with one historical leader, it would have to be Gandhi, because I'd be all like, "Are you gonnaeat that?" and he'd be all like, "No." (Travis Ruetenik)

sweet

funny

Whenever someone dies and someone elsesays they're "in a better place now,"I wonder how bad their apartment couldpossibly have been that a hole in theground would be considered a step up. (Anthony Myers)

giggle

oh it has been so long

yaaaawn. mid-day slump. not!!! mid-day hump as some people keep insisting. silly boys.
i need a new computer. this one keeps telling me i am not old enough to check my blogs @@. and then sometimes it tells me i dont have qualifying credentials. excuse me!

anyhoo. some funniness from prayers last night.
layla-( after i asked them to pray for a peaceful nights sleep)
dear Lord. oooh Lord. just give us a piece of sleep, please. ooh Lord.

eli- dear Jesus, please help my dad be a good boy. sometimes he is rotten. ( giggle)

yikes

Late last night, when I stumbled home drunk,
pissed off and looking for a fight, my adorable
little 4-year-old Debbie Sue ran and hid
the kitchen knives all on her own.
Kids -- they grow up so fast, don't they?

(Chris MacEachen)

tis the season to be merry.

it's holiday times folks. time to bust out those favorite holiday movies. personally i like to get all caught up on my national lampoons around this time. "Is rusty still in the naaavy?"
that aunt bethany has still got it!
i am seeing decorations out in the local Wally World.(walmart) and even some tidbits of "getting ready" on the radio, Christmas contests and what not. ( have i ever mentioned my love for what not? any party that includes what not is goodtimes imo) anyhoo. and now i am receiving those weird random gadgets catologs in the mail. they sell hip and now things like "i'm with stupid" tee shirts and screen doors that require no assembly. but this year my catolog featured an extra special gift to give. i just really need to find that right special someone.
it is called 90 minute nude aerobics. ONLY $14.99!! what a steal. i felt strange seeing it next to the "in the cookie of life..friendship" pillow. and below the neon cross (dont you worry lou..thats got your name all over it!!)
but i feel torn between a few people that would really fit this gift. i mean of course i will use my husbands name when ordering! i have dignity! and i will give the present from the kids. but who...oh who..is worthy of such a gift.
i think the winner has to be my dad. aaaah. my dad. one year each of the kids (all married) in my family {that's me and my three brothers} got a mysterious phone call from dad saying he sent each couple a present and to please just be open to it. i told him not to worry and would, with out opening it, stamp return to sender immediately. he promised it would be okay. a week later we each got three unmarked vhs tapes. and strangely our spouses were the only ones who felt the need to look any further. and wouldnt you know? what a giver. Dad had given the gift of "how to sunthin sunthin videos" i cant tell what an experience it is to get instructive porn from your dad. precious. it is precious. but only because it has now opened an unclosable door for ANY PRESENT WE EVER WANTED TO GET HIM!! merry christmas dad.

i think i am gonna spew*

i think my favorite part of Mallrats has to be when Jason Lee as Brodie slaps his little dixie like cup onto the counter and tells the man to "feel'er up. no ice." this makes me laugh just to think about it. i mean, dont get me wrong, when what's his head with the picture calls shannon daugherty "Brenda" i laugh even when it is the 25th time i have watched that. i think i love this movie. which leads me to love "my name is Earl" i have it set to record regularly on my tivo.


*the writer recognizes the title has nothing to do with the content.

music

i love how God can minister through music. not just during church in worship, but real, out there music. i wish i had written this song. it sums up life for me right now. i am sure many of you, moms especially, can relate. like we are just on hold while we do this parenting thing God has called us to. Lord, let my desires be for you and my children so that i am not glancing around every corner up ahead wondering if something better is coming. thanks for the confidence in me to steer so many little ones in the right direction. sorry that i am going to screw up again. in fact i am due for a wrong choice in 3..2..1..just joking. i dont want my kids to be something i did and got over with. every minute, i want to fill them with you. this morning dh and i discussed him teaching fashion sense over self esteem to our three year old. thank you for making her feel beautiful in her three sizes too big shoes. teach her that you define her, not her clothes.amen.

SURRENDER- BarlowGirl
My hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years i've shaped each one
reflecting my heart showing who i am
now You're asking me to show
what i'm holding oh so tightly
can't open my hands can't let go
does it matter?
should i show You?
can't You let me go?

Surrender, Surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know by can't You see?
my dreams are me, my dreams are me.

You say You have a plan for me
and that You want the best for my life
told me the world had yet to see
what You can do with one
thats committed to your calling
i know of course what i should do
that i can't hold these dreams forever
if i give my life to You
will You take them away forever?
or can i dream again?

sometimes i get so caught up in why my plan isnt working that i dont realize what i can be doing here, now. i dont want this to be my focus. i get frustrated when people impose these thoughts on me. like, you need to get away from your kids for a while, or maybe if you get a part time job you would feel like you were contributing to the family or the earth or whatever. ooh or "do you work?" yah, actually i have a job you could never do. these are things i would never say...out loud. but now any of you who ask me these questions or say these things will know what i am thinking. :)

jokes already?

I just read where the Navy is sending one of its SEAL teams to New Orleans. Frankly, I don't think the citizens of that fair city are in the mood for entertainment right now.
(Tidewater Joe)


okay. there is funny and there is wrong. i havent actually decided where this fits. ::snicker::

conversations with eli (as over heard by mom)

this was a classic. just for memory sake my son is four. ripe.

eli: mommy, can i go play outside.
me: no, cause we need to clean up a bit first.
eli: (whine, stomp, complain all under his breath)

this is the part i eavesdrop

eli: why did you have to marry mommy ( in a low mumble)
dad: what?
eli: why did you have to marry mommy?
dad: why did i marry mommy? cause i love her.
eli: she makes me so mad! (arms folded in a harrumph)
dad: me too son. me too. (giggle)
LOL thanks for the support lol. s'okay though. mike made him clean up!

why i like mike #7

when we kiss, my nose fits perfectly into that little indentation so we don't have to turn our heads. we go together.
and for those of you with honkers instead of noses, you know this can really be an issue. especially if you go in for a fast one. for crying out loud! you could take an eye out! show a little courtesy.

funny

I've decided to dedicate my body to a medical school, and just before I die, I'm going to swallow a little plastic toy. That way, the medical student who cuts me open will get a nice surprise. I just hope the other medical students aren't sad because they didn't get a toy with their cadaver, too.
(Steve Young)

black magic woman...sorta

okay so i feel i have been perfectly honest with you all about my blackheartedness. i am mean. i am that old lady at the end of the block that everyone is scared of. okay not exactly cause she isnt usually hot, BUT i just feel like i have a hard time mothering other's kids. let me rephrase. i love them plenty, but when they are crying over really dumb stuff i just want them to get over it cause honestly what's crying gonna help? ZILCHO!
like this afternoon. i am babysitting three little kids for the month of september as they are a product of track schooling and need someone to make sure they dont burn down the house while their mother continues to provide the money to pay for said house. and on she goes. we finish school, the kids leap and bound to play in the front yard and notice their front door is actually wide open. doggy missing.
my first thought " aaw, suck!" followed by an eyeroll (hidden from the children of course)
so i investigate and find that, yes, tis true. the front door is wide open and the dog has gone to find that greener grass and probably (because he is now a free male)... a piece.
my second thought "how the heck did their door get open? they must have left it open this morning." and then i add lazily as i watch them in their living room from the front yard"or maybe some crazy person has been tapping their phones and found out that i was planning on watching the kids, learned their schedule, and has now snuck into their house, stole the dog and broke their blinds. maybe i should tell the kids to stay out...hmmm..." then out loud i yell "KIDS!!! what are you thinking. get out of that house. we dont know why that door was open!!!"
then i explain that i am currently in charge of 7 kids and cant take a drive through the neighborhood to look for their dog(YAH, THATS why i wont do it), but that their own mother will be home shortly and will, i am sure, will not rest until Lobo is safely at home.
i head inside to check my emails. and unlike our apparently unpopular pastor..i have a few emails waiting. then i notice the girls are crying.
my third thought " sigh." then a quote from the Great White Hype "laugh and the world laughs with you. cry and i will give you something to cry about you little bastard."
ROFL!! i catch myself from giggling out loud just in time to pass along a hug and explain to the kids where doggies go when they get run over. AHAHAAA!! just joking. but luckily mom pulls up and wisks them away and they are now off looking for doggie..ope, they are back with and empty truck bed. maybe it was a crazy person. hmm. interesting.
ope! off again. maybe the dog called and left them a message.
my kids thoughts on the whole thing are just cracking me up-

eli-maybe someone stole him
girls --wahh. dont say that eli, it makes me cry
eli-::shrug::well it is true. but maybe we can borrow a gun from matthew ( alittle boy down the street that supplies our boys with the toy guns) and kill whoever took your dog
me -HEEY! stop talking like that!
layla-i dont like this story very much.
me- neither do i. change the subject
eli-i am a good wrestler.


convo #2
izzy-maybe he ran away to their school. courtney said he is probably at her school, that is why they are in such a rush.
layla-or maybe he ran away to somewhere better, like McDonalds.
eli-HE CANT EVEN FIND MCDONALDS LAYLA!

oh yah

uuum i tag my friend no(dot dot)el, her ginormous man moses, and Laura? do you have a blog?
the rest of you..i am just scared i think, to know more about you.