ACK!

sooo i am picking up my mother in an hour from the airport. then i think i will have a baby. that is weird. i wrote it on my list of things to do today

edit UOP scholarship essay
email essay to Roni
dishes
shower/brush everything/eat
breathe (I like to include things like this on my listst in case i don't get to anything else; I can at least cross that off)
make bed and straighten room
make grocery list
drink water
drink water
drink water
midwife appt. 5pm
pick up mom 3:10pm
grocery store
make dinner (spaghetti, salad, french bread)
have baby
get some rest.

we will see. :)

taking votes

so noel votes for the 27th for baby day. i say the 28th. but it makes me a little nervous to be right cause it is a church day. and frankly my dreams of going in to labor at church have been waaay too many and none of them were good. i am always seeming to leave a puddle behind me. and pastor never breaks into "let the river flow" like i want him to. lol.
if you are going to choose a departure song, that seems as good as any. although... i suppose for some people "deep and wide" may be appropriate. but not for me.

thats strange

so my daughter came running into the house hollaring that my son was throwing up in the garage. my first thought "ugh..the flu." it wasnt until he started screaming "IT BURNS IT BURNS! IT IS BURNING MY THROAT" and i noticed that just washed fresh scent that i realized he had indeed swallowed some sort of household cleaner. :/ sigh ELI. when will he learn? please no one answer that. i am not prepared for "never."
so 911, fire department, paramedics, and the sherrif's dept (to make sure i wasnt trying to kill my son... @@) then the ER. great. we are home now. he is fine now. his punishment. apologizing to everyone in the family for scaring them and for disobeying mom and dad by being in the garage. and he had to start our nightly prayers by asking God to forgive him. sigh. i figure the burning vomit was enough punishment. maybe not. but surely the fact that he thought the doctors were going to cut him open and he was probably going to die at the hospital was punishment enough. i cant cause that sort of fear. poor baby.

and the count down is on

well, after a fantastic scare of baby samuel arriving last thursday night (almost three hours of contractions at 5 minutes apart) we are to the real countdown. two weeks
it was inevitable that i would experience some sort of labor scare though. with my mother and sister n law attending their annual women's retreat in temecula and my husband a good six hours away fishing in Ely..of course. why is this a rule?
if you dont want something to happen just yet, you plan something really great to do instead and then it happens. liiiike if you arent supposed to start your period for three weeks so you think it is safe to wear those white pants..well it isnt, cause viola, you will start. ask any girl.

hey stupid people..go away

obviously getting antsy and irritable. today God is working on my mercy and patience. why do these seem to go hand in hand. i want nothing to do with either of them unless they are being bestowed upon me when i am being someone else's dumb person. sigh. this is the noise i made most today, which is saying something considering i have to make a noise everytime i move or bend, or sit or stand, or wiggle or breathe. i allow people to affect my mood easily when i am pregnant. this is difficult to deal with or rather easy to blame on pregnancy. i have less tolerance for people. like the lady today that insisted on turning left when it was clearly marked as a no left turn area. causing me to miss my light, causing me to growl, causing my attitude to slide greatly down on the mercy scale. got the kids delivered and to my next destination and another friend misunderstood my meaning when i said i had another appt at 11 to mean i needed to leave at that time. sigh. twenty minutes late. which made me 20 minutes late getting back into town to pick up my kids. a trend was starting, not with being late, but with my sighing and irritability. the true greatness of all of this attitude is that i have been doing a study heavily focusing on how not to allow other people's actions/reactions to cause you to sin or become angry/irritable, etc. i am about three weeks into the study. maybe i need to start over. :/ The upside is that i have been praying for God to point out times when my thoughts are not what they should be (edifying, uplifting, etc.). my prayer specifically has been to stop the thoughts as soon as they creep in and replace them with prayer. back to the down swing...i had to do this about 200 times today. do you think that is a bad average? Lord, thank you for making your mercies new every morning. work on this black heart. and remind me not to growl. :/

nesting

tweet tweet. as i am prepering for our last three weeks of second grade and pre-k with my little children it occured to me why people call this stage and behavior in pregnancy "nesting." we are learning about birds for our last unit of study and when i got to the part about bird behavior in the spring i had to laugh. i FEEL like a bird. certainly i dont resemble one (although my husband is still concerned at the skinny "bird legs" that have developed on my lower half since becoming pregnant. i say enjoy it for the rest of these five weeks..i will be back to fat in no time flat.) i feel twittery. i can't walk through my house without mentally redecorating. i have picked out almost all the paint colors for a house i have no money to paint. we have rearranged more furniture and found more uses for old objects in the last two weeks than i think is legal. even parts of the garage have had a going over. it is making me happy. exhausted, but definitely feeling less like a snug bug in a rug. after watching a special on tlc about how that family who just had their 16th babe and getting a tour of their rental property...a three bedroom two bath home, i was feeling a little greedy about thinking so often about having a bigger house. i was challenged. i started with asking for forgiveness for my attitude (aka Lord, you are giving me all these kids, can you please give me someplace to fit them!) and started sketching my entire house. i am amazed really that we have so much crap. i prayed heavily for God to open my eyes and help me to let go of the hoarding i seem to love so much. yesterday i took a very jam packed car to the thrift store of things i hadnt looked at in months. things i was finally ready to let go of. you know, like that giant fluffy blue pillow that has sat in my garage for 6 months, and that wicker planter i bought because it was on clearance at target for 1.90 and i feel that anything that is 1.90 should be purchased...even though in the last three years that i have owned it, it has never contained a plant..or anything really. baby steps. they are baby steps, but the whole family seems to be responding well. peace. it is amazing how God can add peace by taking those baby steps.

why men hate chruch

On my way home last night from a great CALM Easter day i listened to a man on KLOVE radio who authored a book called "Why Men Hate Church." very interesting. He talked a bit about boys/men and when they tend to leave the church and how many women these days are going to church spouseless, with and without children. I am very interested to read this book as i feel, and now so does my husband after discussing it with him last night, that this man seemed pretty right on. he wasnt saying that men hate God or religion or any of that. just that they have a hard time finding a place to fit and be comfortable. that a lot of people (esp. wives) expect them to be comfortable with sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings, holding hands with the guy sitting next to them, and saying i love you in regular conversations to share how much they care all because they are now Christians. he pointed out that they are still men, and dont like swarms :) i have even heard it said that some men run with large sticks to avoid swarms lol. he also talked about how the church paints Jesus as someone that can be difficult for men to relate to. meek, merciful, mild, always in that flowy white gown and smiling that mona lisa smile. (i added some of these descriptions) but the point he was making was they dont talk as much about him being "the lion of Judah" and what that means. that he got angry...really angry, that he had more sides to him than just femanine qualities. I can see that men would have a hard time relating to the Jesus we usually talk about. he also pointed out that usually the women are the nurturers and the needs we usually have in churches (that are voiced) are nursery/childcare workers, worship,prayer groups, meals for needing families. and men arent always jumping up or able to help with these areas. that we need to voice the doing activities that need attention. like when pastor was out with a shovel and mysterious bag hanging out his car window last week. i assume he was filling a pot hole. something my husband does for a living and would have been more than eager to give in this area. (you did a loverly job buy the way pastor lol) or pulling weeds, or fixing those door handles in the women's bathroom that dont work. these are things.. a list my husband can look at and say, "yah i can fix that, i even have the tools we need right here in my McGyver sack." then after talking with The Man about this author and his book he noted that there are a lot of areas the people in our church could be drawing in people by giving. it is the same ultimate plan as small groups, but more tangible. like having a change your oil day. anyone who cant or knows someone who cant change their oil to bring their car by. "tell your friends, tell your neighbors. no charge, we took donations already. sure your neighbor can bring her car, you dont have to attend our church, you just have to need an oil change, or a refill on your wiper fluid, or something along those lines. then for a few bucks donated to the youth, you can drive your car right over there and the kids will wash your car." talk about the ultimate man day. i can picture moses in his bikini with his little poster board now! another point he made was for the wives/girlfriends in these men's lives. something i wish i would have learned a long time ago. we feel guilty a lot of times that our other halves aren't going to church and we allow it to affect our relationship with them and God. And as it turns out...it STILL isnt our job to get him to go to church.OR to make sure he is paying attention when pastor is saying something "he really needs to hear" isnt that funny. sigh. someday i will learn. :)

i am successful

you know what is great about kids? they will believe whatever you tell them. liiiike my son knows that if he says "you are beautiful" when asking for something, he has a much better chance of getting a yes. and addison actually thinks that picture of napoleon dynamite is my husband. "addie, who's this?" as i hold out the picture. "dadda" she replies with a big smile. my work here is done.

why i like mike #9

( so it's been a while since i have posted one of these, but really people i am growing a person! it takes time ya know!) He comes up with funny things to call my kids. Like yesterday when Layla was angry that i wouldnt let her change into a skirt (her third wardrobe change of the day) and she slammed the front door, stomped down the driveway, arms folded so tightly nuthin was getting between those guys, and head bent down in almost a charge position, dh called her Henry the Angry Dwarf. giggle. i dont know why i thought this was funny. But then i couldnt stop saying "she's an AAANGRY elf." lol thanks Buddy.

life can be frustrating #1

Something is preventing the refrigerator door from closing and you can't figure out what it is.

holy cow batman

holy cow. what a great day. my daughter was finally baptised. after many months of waiting, she is happy to say she actually went through with it!! last year she decided she really believes and wants to follow Jesus. In our very own kidland, she prayed with ms. stephanie and accepted christ as her savior and has been seriously gung ho ever since. she says she really feels God is talking to her about being a missionary, "so if you want me to try to eat those carrots i will, even if i dont know if i will like them. cause when you are a missionary you have to put on your missionary hat and be happy they gave you any food at all. cause that is all they have mom!" (these are the things kids learn when their uncle and grandmother are missionary superfreaks lol.) so we have gotten her involved in some missionary training workshops for kids and prayed a lot and included a lot of other country studies in our schooling. she also decided she needs to learn spanish "cause i just feel bad for that little boy across the street. i cant understand a thing he is saying." LOL crack me up! anyway, we agreed that it would help her have a head start with her missions. Her life is really such an example to me. Certainly not OF me. i learn from her easily as much as she learns from me. i am amazed with how much she shares with me, and it just makes me feel rotten that i did so little sharing with my mom :/ SOOOO last fall when she approached me about what baptising is i knew it was an answer to prayer and God was really working in her. I was determined not to be the one to talk to her about any of it just yet, cause i was worried she would just agree, without really being ready. God not only worked all of that out fantastically, but on our way out the door my husband said he decided to get baptised TOO!! YAY for God! She was beyond pleased with this news, even though earlier she said she would rather JUST have pastor louie and Mr. moses in the water with her. lol. I feel so blessed. I am so proud of both of them. like i was just given a move ahead three spaces card in my candy land game of life. :) so thank you all for your continuing prayers. What a great blessing. And really to prove that God REALLY wants to give us life to the fullest, on our way to the pool Isabelle asked if Pastor Louie was going to be wearing his bathing suit. i said he will probably be wearing swimming trunks or something. she said "oh uck! i dont want to see his boobies!" ROFL! sorry pastor! my cup runneth over!

reflecting

So ten years ago today was a Saturday. I woke up at 5:30, made some meatballs (about 300) and tried to force myself to eat some breakfast. Toast I think. More emotions were flowing through my mind that day than the puberty years. Exhausted, anxious, excited, scared, a little sad, joy, overwhelmed. It was all very sureal. I remember thinking I would never make it this far. A week before I was driving for my final fitting in the fast lane on the freeway. A car in the opposite direction came up onto the block wall divider and slid for about a hundred feet. His mirror, antenna, and a whole lot of his paint showered my car. I could see him. Looked right in his eyes. I prayed...more like, "Jesus, no." And at the last second before our windshields collided he flipped back down into his lane. I think my heart started beating. It must have, right? All girls have a breaking point before such a big event. Mine came the next morning. It was okay though. It was only the second time in two years I needed to cry, and he was there. Just there next to me. Reassuring me, not fixing me. It worked. We made it to Saturday, meatballs, decorating, hairdos and nail appointments. Juggling everything. I felt like a ring leader at a circus. A very chaotic circus. But then that part of the movie comes. You know when you see him and everything else becomes blury. The grip on my Father's arm was so tight. Almost like i wasn't ready to let go. There were so many faces, at least the pictures tell me there were. I could only see one. That one. The one that would be mine forever. My kisses. My winks. I think I was walking. These are the details you lose within the movie blur. I made it. WE made it. There was talk of rings. There was something about pancakes :) and then there was "You may kiss the bride." Perfect. I don't remember anything. Just that it was perfect....and finished. Thanks for the perfect day. Happy 10th anniversary honey :)

anyone wanna donate

anyone got any books they wanna donate to the shontell car fund? dh (dear hubby) and i have been selling used and new books on amazon. it is going nicely. sooo if you have a sudden urge to organize and think "self, we dont need all these stinkin books. we read them already." feel free to call. we will pick them up and take them off your hands :) then maybe someday when i get big (not physically) i can buy my family a big kid car that we all fit into. and i dont have to growl and watch my mouth while i am squeeeeezing my hands between booster seats to buckle my kids.

giggle

this made me crap right up lol
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into agas station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant,obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typicalNewfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto theground. "What are dose? Asks the attendant. "They're called tees"replies Tiger."Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the attendant."They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger."Fookin Jaysus", says the Newfoundlander, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

hmmm

hey how do i get all of my peeps linked like scoey over here. i dont have favorites with this new puter system. anyone feel like walkin me through it. hmm hmmm

uuum

these are not words- comfterble, cumpterble, and clustaphobic. this last one is a shout out to my mom who never reads my blog. lets pronounce the word together. comFORTable. just say the extra sound people. does it really take up a lot more of your time. you wouldnt say compert right? listen if i can learn that jagwire isnt a word and that the real pronunciation is jag WAR * thanks for the help there jesse :) you can do this little bit for me. and honestly if you are going to sign someone up for What not to Wear.....find an outfit that doesnt make you look like such a hypocrite. lol. killing me smalls.

meesta divinci

so i was on my way home from work, trying to stay awake without having to eat something for fear i will gain another 11 pounds this month :/ , flipping through the radio stations and i came across a call in show on the religion channel. i have to say religion channel cause they let a few shady characters speak on their station. like the other night this guy called in and said he was concerned how God was taking his mother's shoplifting habit. @@ this is me rolling my eyes because he went on to say she suffers from severe alsheimers. DUDE>>>GET A BRAIN. meanwhile i will work on scrounging together some comapassion..apparently i lost it again lol. anyway..this guy was one of the callers, not the speaker. but the speaker kept acting like the caller may want to pray a little more for his mom cause what if God really doesnt think this is acceptable and we may just not know until we get to heaven. seriously? you can sleep at night after saying that to this poor "scarecrow?" a very special song is coming to my mind. sing with me.... oooh i could tell you whyyyyy the ocean's near the shore. i could think of things i never thunk before. anyway on to my title. the same show was on tonight and while i am not turning there on purpose my seek button isnt picky. soo tonight someone had called in about the whole scandal on the divinci code book fiasco. and i was reminded of a conversation i had with my ever so geniousee sister. we agreed that people are retarded if they bank on any book that isnt the bible. and that it isnt totally fair that everyone is ganging up on the author. christians especially are tearing this man apart. me thinks that isnt going to win him over to christ if he isnt a christian. i would also like to point out that i really know very little about this book and dont know much depth into the scandal. just the gist. is this how you spell gist? anyhoo, my question...if you are still reading this very long blog is would it really have mattered if jesus WERE married. i mean take away the kids/love child beeswax. mostly this man on the radio just kept saying how anti christ taking a wife he was and that the author of this book is a "perverted mind" to even come up with something like this. then he went on to say it isnt important whether or not Jesus could or could not have sinned while he was on the earth. to which i started talking...loudly to the radio that of course he COULD have sinned while he was here. wasnt that the whole point. to give us an example. to show us that it is our choices that separate us from God, just like it was his choices that kept him close to God. he chose "not to move unless the father told him to go. "(italian shontell version....unabridged) again. not wanting to build a soap box or stick a microphone under your chin about this whole book scandal, just wondering if it would really be that big of a deal if jesus WAS married. cause hey....jesus needed lovin too.

i disagree with our pastor

doesnt that sound rotten lol. but really. during sundays chat from the pulpit he said our God isnt like the tooth fairy and pretty much for the rest of our chat i couldnt stop thinking of ways that God really IS like the tooth fairy. you have to go through a little pain, and some uncomfortable times, but then viola! God shows up with a quarter...or whatever answer you have been waiting for. and praying is like pulling teeth. you usually have to work at it a bit..stick with it and THEN when you least expect it...when you bite into that cornnut. oucho!! smack there is your answer. interesting.

hear ye hear ye

moses is officially the worst passer onner of great news. and mr pete. shame ..a plague on you and your household. phooey. I AM GOING TO BE ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!! i got a letter a couple weeks ago and called the church almost instantly!! i dont know yet when i will be filming. but please pray i win big ooh and that i i get to tape down in vegas. they said it would be there or in LA. equally as hot, but nowhere near my family to offer free room and board and babysitting. incidentally if we arent able to take any of our kids and any of you want to volunteer for that wonderful experience, i promise to throw in a shiny new quarter :) p.s. i rule. i mean God is so cool at prayer answering. p.s.s why cant i push return and go to the next line. sigh.

oh those magical little characters

ya know, when i think of pooh bear and piglet i get misty. i think of my kids as babies. i think of that song playing at my wedding and my brother pretty much losing it, cause all growing up i had called him kristopher robin. sweet memories. buuut i am forever tainted thanks to layla grace. yes, that sweet little three y-o. she is without a doubt on my top five list for the oddest people i know. our conversation at dinner the other night went something like this: Layla- i have to go poo.... and she trails off knowing i am going to yell at her for talking grossly at the table. i ask her to repeat herself but figure out a knew way to say it so she isnt being gross. she says "i have to go pooh bear. is that okay? " how do i work with that? to make it better the next day she decided it should be called pooh bear for #1 and piglet for #2. sigh.