Yeah, I've Got It

I want you to know that I completely have Bieber Fever. It's a real diagnosis. You know you have it if you:

• Break into a bout of Never Say Nevers randomly
• Have more than three Justin songs on your iPod
• Know at least half the rap by Jaden Smith
• Could see yourself in this shirt
• Watched the Justin B. movie and got teary at any point and/or
• at any point wish you could trade places with a tween just to enjoy his concert one last time.
• Have agreed to TXTL8R just because Justin asked you to

Yes. I've got it bad. I downloaded his entire acoustic album. The end.

Here Fishy Sing Along Songs

Sometimes we take our kids fishing on a whim. It's good family time. Izzy and I typically snuggle on a blanket; I read and she draws. We make fun of each other. Good times. The kids hang out with Michael as he baits and rebaits fishing hooks. You could say he is a master baiter.
Last night when all this took place, my youngest son Sam-I-Am decided he was too antsy to sit still, so when he got a bite on his line, I jumped up to help. Please understand that I do not fish. I don't understand it. It's boring. BUT I like my husband, and I like hanging out with him and my kids whilst I get to veg and read, so I go along.
It was all very dramatic- me fishing. I leaped up! I screamed and grabbed the pole in a dramatic fisher woman way. "WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO?!!" I yelled excitedly. I followed the first advice yelled back at me by Layla Grace," YANK UP THE POLE!" So I did. This, in case you are not a fisher, is incorrect.
I lost the fish. I was a disappointment to the Brewer household. So-much-so that they made a song about me. :/ Here it is:

Sam-O caught a fish
BUT Mamma jerked it off.

Repeat this stanza loudly and constantly until your mom makes you stop to get an idea of what it was like for me.
Next time I may stay home.

FYI

You shouldn't look like this. But that isn't what I came here to say. I just wanted to say, in case no one ever told you, taking time to care for yourself isn't selfish. Men don't think so; I believe this is only a motherly way of thinking. I was watching the Biggest Loser, which is something I do on Tuesdays, and a lady on there misguidedly said, "Sometimes you have to be selfish and take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't be available to take care of your family." I feel her first sentence was a commonly spouted statement. I feel like her second sentence actually disproved her first sentence.

What is so selfish about wanting to take care of my family? It's not as if I am hoping to care for them so they make me look good. Frankly when I go places with my children people look at me like I am insane, crazy, annoying, imposing, and just plane dumb. Not looking good.

I need to take care of me in order to take care of them. I want to take care of me because I want to feel healthy, and because I want my husband to think I am hot. I have to take care of me because God has made me a mother to five kids, and I don't shirk on a job that important.
I am not a martyr; God never asked me to slave and grovel and work until I nearly die just to care for everyone else around me. He asked me to love. I am not selfish. I am a giver.

Guilty Pleasure

I am addicted to Friday Night Lights the TV show. I MIGHT go to hell because it's a bit scandalous, but it's what I do to avoid the sleep. I don't like the days when my man is gone. COME HOME MAN!

Mother's Day is the Best

Especially when you are me and the wife of The Man and the mom of five pretty awesome short people. It started with presents. Really Really great presents: I got a new ring and some seriously fantastic earrings that I never plan on removing.
Then, we loaded up and took The Man to the airport (not my highlight by any means). Then it was bookstore time. See, here's the thing. The thing is. Let me explain something. I packed up Pastor's books to return to him, and I clearly labeled the box Louie (Not Louise, but The Man didn't notice that. So, he donated them to Goodwill with the other boxes marked Goodwill. Because I wasn't able to buy back ALL of the donated books belonging to Pastor, we stopped by Borders to see if they had that last one. They didn't. Instead they had clearance books out front for buy one get one free. Six books for $15. Awesome.
Next we headed to the mall to get my ring sized and took a turn in the food court and the Disney store where the kids each scored a little something from the clearance department. I got a keychain of Minnie Mouse in reading glasses that reads "Nerds Rule."

I also picked up the movie Tangled which makes me giggle and ensures a cozy night with my kids: my favorite sort of night. After lunch we headed to Yogurt Beach to meet up with my two big brothers and their wives and kiddos. We are quite a crowd: 14 of us altogether as we are sans The Man and my mother, who is in Omaha with my grandmother.
After that, we headed home where the girls created a homemade foot scrub and gave me a pedicure. Now, we are watching Tangled, and I am giggling- also, we are snuggling. On another, less happy note, the children have agreed that I look like the mother from Tangled. You know, the fake evil mother? Great.

Wheelin' and Dealin'

In keeping with my efforts to procrastinate my homework assignment as close to its due date as possible, I made a list for the grocery store and took my five children there. I do not recommend this. To know why click HERE. BUT, today I was feeling frisky. I woke a good two hours before I normally do on the weekend, (HA or any other day if we're being Frank) and we were accomplishing much on our errand outing. I had my coupons and list, so we headed for Smith's for their 10 for $10 sale. We got a silly amount of things that filled three shopping carts to the brim and bursting. We paid an average of $2 per item, which I realize isn't nearly as amazing as those couponing ladies, but considering I bought great cereal, organic milk, Naked Juice (cause who puts clothes on juice?!), toothpaste, Cheezits, a mega pack of multi-vitamin gummies, sunscreen, a year's supply of Bounce dryer sheets, and barely anything else that was under $2 to begin with, I would say that is some smooth wheelin' and dealin'. Next time I will be better prepared with coupons, but I am coupon newbie, so I don't yet have that stash to pull from. I DO however have a 'stache, so maybe I will get a waxing with the money I saved.

Frick Frack PHOOEY

Our television died. It has been a sad pending experience, but it still hurts now that it has happened. Aren't TVs supposed to last longer than two years? This time there were no Wii remotes thrown at the screen. This time it started smelling of burnt machinery and sending up wisps of smoke. This morning, when there was smoke and sparking, we knew it was a goner. Just like my favorite leisure activity. WAAAH! We seriously need jobs. It's dangerous to go so long without money. You know what happens? Your list of things to buy with your first paycheck gets longer and longer. Going to bed. gah.

Proof that God loves me: My husband called near and far and found a replacement part for our TV! That man has a direct link to God, I tell ya.  There isn't even SMOKE anyMORE!

Eavesdropping

I didn't mean to be an eavesdropper (where in the world did this saying come from anyway?), but I was sitting here minding my own business when Eli and Layla Grace began chatting.

Layla: EW Moby smells! Gross! (gag)
Eli: Layla, you better get used to that.
Layla: What? Why?
Eli: If you are going to be married, you need to get used to the smell.
Layla: What? Why? Gross.
Eli: Also, if you are going to get married you need to get used to Sam biting you.
Layla: What? WHY?
Eli: Cause Mommy and Daddy are married and Daddy bit her. They were laying in bed together and Daddy just bit her. Cause they are married.

Me in my mind: sigh. I blame my husband for this.

Responsibility Reschmonsibility

I DON'T WANNA! I DON'T WANNA!

As I sit here refusing to get out of my bed a long list of responsibilities is running through my head. Incessant. Then, I look over and see my book and think to myself, "Self, wouldn't it be awesome to stay in bed all day and read this book?" Then I answer myself, "Yes. Yes it would."

But then my belly gets queasy with anxiety over procrastination, and I wimp out. This is me not wimping, but this is also me not at all sure where to begin! I need a life coach. Where is Jenn Russo when I really need her?! BAH! I think if she were here she would say, "Let's start by getting out of bed. Get dressed and do SOMEthing with that hair- for the sake of everyone with eyes, please. Then, make your bed, cause if you don't I will be thinking about it all day. Next we will eat breakfast, get coffee, and prioritize." Maybe I should just hang a picture of her next to my bed. Highly organized people offend me. OKAY FINE they don't; I am totally jealous of their self control. I heart Jenn Russo AND her organization skills.  So, this isn't a picture of her; I don't have a picture of her because she is all the way in Las Vegas, but this drawer is probably in her house. It looks like something she would do.

Thanks for the motivation, JR. I am going back to bed.

Sam At Bedtime. He got me again.

So. Samuel Fisher is a big movie quoter. Let's be real. If you are going to be one of the children in this house, you have to be a movie quoter. AGAIN he wasn't in his bed. I said, "FISH what are you doing?
 He said, in his best New York accent (which was phenomenal) "I WAS ON A SAFARI, BOB!" This is of course my favorite line from Return to Me delivered by Dick Cusack, John's and Joan's seriously awesome father. I cannot discipline under these circumstances.

My First Thoughts

Many times I will open my eyes seemingly instantly each morning with a thought in my head as if I have been mulling it over all night. Considering what "they" say about the short span in which dreams take place, this isn't likely, but still, it feels this way. I usually blog or write about those things or people who are my first thought of the day. This morning my first thought was more of a question followed with a barrage of answers.

Why aren't you on Facebook? 

Many of you have asked me this question and even rolled your eyes either to my face or behind my face at my answer. To be honest, you eyerollers come off as one convicted over my beliefs on something. You may want to look into that. I do not judge others for being a part of what usually seems like a pretty good time. But I stand by my belief that NOTHING (except God) is right for everyone. Here is what I know to be true:

• I threw out a quick prayer over joining Facebook and felt God oh so clearly say to me that I am not to be a part of it. The reasons have zilch to do with some evil powers lurking on the site; I simply have issues in my past that have the potential to be given leeway in this arena, and I am not in the business of giving potential issues leeway. It's not them; it's me. 
• I have heard several (and growing) pastors give sermons full of confessions and touching on addiction to Facebook. Really? Addiction? Maybe boundaries and self-control are difficult to maintain in the virtual world, but I assure you God would insist upon them.
• I have seen people return home, walk past loved ones, and check their Facebook page. Um.. 
• I have had a grown woman say, "I know we are sitting down to eat dinner, but I just need to check on my animals on Farmville real quick."
• I have stood in front of a grown woman attempting to have a conversation SHE began only to have her look at her phone and Facebook page the entire time. She made eye contact at the end to say, "talk to you later." To which I silently said, "I sort of hope not."
• I know a woman who made some seriously bad choices in her marriage and nearly lost her husband. She regularly chats with and is friends with a woman who struggles with the same issues and in fact was her cavorting buddy during her lowest times. I asked the woman about it, I asked the husband about it. She had nothing to say. He said, "I don't want to tell her who she can and can't be friends with." 

Now, these seem like extreme cases, but the more I live in this technologically connected world, I see it is the norm. I was having a conversation with some friends about this the other day. HE says he is only friends with people who live out of state because it's stupid to stay connected with someone you see all the time in person. I like this idea. His wife said we are nuts. I like her too, I just disagree when Facebook is involved. She went on to confess that she would invite me to more things if I were on Facebook. To which I said, "thanks for sort of proving my point." We laughed and I still like her. 

Finally, HE said a statement which I didn't realize I agreed with so much until it was out of his mouth. He said, "I don't want my wife being friends with all of my friends on Facebook. Why would I want her online chatting with guys? How is it different from texting? I don't want her texting my friends." Whoa. Sort of in your face. 

I trust my husband fully. Usually when my jealousy rears it's head it's because some super tramp is wafting her pheromones near my man and he is completely unaware. I am sure that is God's protection. I also know that the conversations between him and the people on Facebook are casual and not full of evil. Still, it seems as though others may consider this opening in friendship, even virtual, a link with him. I don't want women having a link with my husband. I will punch them in their faces, and that isn't very Christ like. Do you see my dilemma? Sorry if I offended you. Sort of.

It's Official

I am a certified teacher in Nevada AND Washington. Your move, God.

Conversations With Sam at Bedtime

I was tucking in Sam-I-AM who is four. He wasn't in his bed when I went up to tuck him in. We usually send them up and give them a few minutes to gather their nonsense and whatever else it is short people do instead of us standing there impatiently saying, "get in bed. get in bed. get in bed."

Now we give them time. Only, lately they have been running amok until we come up there and stand impatiently and say, "get in bed. get in bed. get in bed." Sigh.

Tonight, he wasn't in bed. Instead of yelling at him, I picked up Woody and held him very close to my face and calmly said, "Woody, when I send you to bed, I want to find you with your head on your pillow. Do you understand me, Mr.?" Sam was super giggly and got into bed. He picked up Woody and said, "YEAH! Do you hear me Woody?" giggles, "Now, you get to sleep with no pillow." Then he giggled and closed his eyes, in bed, on his pillow.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

I am in my bed with a bellyache, so I am watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days to make myself feel better. It's totally working. My favorite quotes so far:

You are a vision in khaki

You cannot name my member after a female

Our kids are really.......ATTRACTIVE

Watch it. You will be a better person.

BUUUURN

Sometimes I mock people. It may be easier to calculate the times I am NOT mocking rather than try to account for the times I AM mocking. I just enjoy making mock. Izzy is very nearly 13 and super good at making mock as well. She can dish it out and take it. Tonight she was mumbling some nonsense and making me giggle and ended with, "Your face is a log." Now, before I move on, you should know we often just repeat what others have said, but apply that attribute to whomever we are speaking.

Example:
Ellie Harrison after the decorative football on the cake fell over: Aw, poor football.
Addison: You're a poor football.
Me- giggle fitfully


So, in response to Izzy's funny log remark, I made up a joke. I told her, "Why don't you make like a bunny and get run over." Then she and I laughed hysterically. I realize some social worker is going to read this and be utterly torn whether or not to drive immediately to my door. I assure you, I do not want any harm to ever happen to my short children. I do however want them to think I am funny. I am totally winning.

I Am

• Officially half way through my master's program at Grand Canyon University
• Enjoying a pajama day filled with two cups of coffee, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, homeschooling, homework, and a husband who returned home from yet another trip
• Grateful my husband's job doesn't usually ask him to travel; I like him at my beckon call
  
• Fully in love with acoustic guitar music
• Wishing I were better at producing it, but realizing it is because I don't practice nearly enough
• 29 hours early with turning in my homework and feeling overwhelmed with the possibilities with my free time
• Thinking I am going to settle on showering, lesson planning for the remainder of the school year for those lovable high schoolers of mine, and a little guitar practice
• Needing to fully learn my song to sing A Capella
• Excited for Easter this year more than usual
• Going to watch Passion of the Christ
• Reading through Matthew with my short people and enjoying our conversations
• Really going this time, not like the kid on the Nestle Toll house Cookie commercials
  

I Can't Get Past This

Because this isn't the only place I write, sometimes I get stuck on a thought and can't get past it. This is something I wrote a couple of weeks ago about a particular Sunday morning and my issues on said morning. Welcome to my issues. I tried to prepare you all for the real fact that I am crazy and usually rotten. I would say I told you so, but that may not help my case to make you love me anyway.

This Sunday I cried through worship. I cried through the teaching. All the while, I struggled with what I was upset about. Rather, I bounced between my issues. My struggles were three:

The country of Japan has been devastated by an earthquake. My heart was so heavy for their loss and confusion during this time. All through worship I pictured one person, no one in particular. I thought, if one person was standing among the sea of that devastation, if one person was willing to raise her hands and worship at the top of her lungs, if one person was willing to worship in the face of so much death, God would save them. He is a good God, so maybe he will save them anyway, but it reminds me of that story of Abraham. God wanted Abraham to go into the city and find someone, ANYone worth saving, and if that happened, he would not destroy the land. It didn't happen. He couldn't find even one who was worthy. But perhaps Japan has at least one person willing to say, "I love you, Lord. No matter what I see before me, no matter what the news tells me, no matter what my own understanding tries to make me believe, I love you, Lord." As I cried in church, I willed that one person to take a stand. I hope it happened.

Number two: a girl spoke today of her story of God's miraculous salvation. She was referring to her literal salvation of her life, not her soul. Now God has given her both. God healed her through a surgery and did it for free. Her story was so miraculous as she went from her literal death bed to the 6 o'clock news where she shared that she asked God for a miracle, and he said, "Sure. Thanks for asking." Her faith is bigger than mine. She is from the poor population of Indonesia. She has faced serious struggles. She has looked God and death head on and said her peace. She is a decade younger than me. Her faith is bigger than mine. I cried because when I again asked God to forgive me for my small faith and worry, he said yes. I said, "I am lame." He gave me a head pat and said, "I know." But he finished it with a smile that proves he loves me in spite of all that. I am grateful.

Third: I was mad. I do not get angry with God often. While I may tend to get quippy when I argue, it's a little disrespectful to be a smart pants to God, so I try to tone it down. Instead I made an angry face and yelled at him in my mind.

Me: WHAT is your plan?! I want answers.
God: I know.
Me: Great, so let's get this show on the road. This is very aggravating!!
God: I know.
Me: Good come back!!
God: I know.
Me: You are making me angry.
God: I know.
Me: You are asking too much of me.
God: I know.
Me: sorry I yelled, I was acting out.
God: I know.
Me: I am self absorbed. People are dying and lives are being devastated, and I am whining. I am sorry. I love you.
God: I know.
Me: Good come back. I mean it this time.
God: I know.

Maybe I Should Sleep

My eyeballs are burning in my face right now after working on resumes and applications and school work and homeschool work and writing hand written letters to 7 Asian students. I do not mean to say I just sit and write willy nilly to Asians; these are actually my students. They will be expecting things from me in the morning. They will expect me to be patient and teach them. They will expect for me to at least act like I know more than them so I can impart my wisdom. Maybe I should sleep. I have been thinking this for hours. Then, I remember some undone responsibility. To help me get my work done, I turn on the TV to keep me company. I don't work nearly as fast as when the TV is off, so I find I am up until today turns into tomorrow, and my eyeballs are burning in my face. Maybe I should sleep. I think this post is written in several tenses, but I am too tired to edit it properly. Maybe I should sleep.

One Day

I will be published on more than the internet

I won't be terrified of lice

I will have arm muscles

I will go overseas with that man-o-mine

I will get caught up on my scrapbooking

I will have a TV that doesn't shut off willy nilly

I will successfully convince people to use the word bunk

I will have my own garden

I will drive a Karmann Ghia


I will laugh so hard it hurts

I will order room service in my hotel room because the book I am reading is too good to stop

One day.

Things I Like, Like: 'cause we were roomates in college

Friends- the show and my real ones

Saturday morning bible study

Coffee at said function, and anywhere really

My laptop

Worship time and the music that goes with it

Books in a series when it's a well written story

Quilts

How Addison shakes her leg to the beat of any Taylor Swift song;
it's more of a knee pop

Really amazing books that challenge me to be a better Christian and less self absorbed

The fact that I can say things to my friends and know that if they are judging me, they are trying not to and want to love me anyway

Thrift store finds- happiness

Acoustic guitar paired with good lyrics and a good vocalist aka Rebecca Brown

Mike Brewer.. I think we have been over this; try to keep up, people