Why I like Mike #30

He wants to stay married to me after 16 years. There is a really good chance that when we were married 16 years ago yesterday, he thought our lives would be very different than they are now. There are probably even times when he looked at me with really big eyes behind my bag and pretended to strangle me while thinking, "WHAT did I get myself inTO?!!" But more often than all of those times, he has loved me. And he is very good at loving me. He handles my habits and my irritations and not so pleasant qualities. And at the end of the day, he hugs me. I like that about this guy. I like a lot about this guy. I am very excited for another 16 years and then some.
Here's lookin at you kid.
Here's mud in your eye.
Here's to us.
I love you.

Bob Wiley (AKA the smartest man in movie history)

The makers of What About Bob are the creative geniuses of the century. No movie equals the brilliance and comedy that made Bob Wiley the smartest man in movie history. I try to take his advice as regularly as possible. If it has been more than a year since you have watched this movie, remedy this faux pas immediately. The following lines justify why one should watch this movie with regularity:
Bob: I said good morning GILL.

Wing the Bus Driver: Bob, I have a baby schedule to keep, Bob.
Bob: I know that, Wing.

Ziggy: We are going to die. We are ALL going to die.

Faye: Leo?! What about BOB?

Bob: Can I get a bowl or something?! He has been in here all day, and if I don't let him out he is going to scream!

Bob: There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife adored him.

Watch it. do it.

Meet Dan

 I have a knew vision of what God is asking of our family. That is not to say the things that have not come to pass are forgotten or cast aside. In fact, the new will only bring our family closer together, and my prayer is that each of my children will remember these coming years forever. Family ministry- I highly recommend it. Whether you have one kid or eleven, find a ministry that glorifies God with your time, money, heart, prayers.

When I was a kid, my mother brought us to food pantries to volunteer, my father took us every year to Child Haven (a home for abused children) to spend time with kids and sing along to his hippy guitar, and our youth leaders scheduled monthly outreaches so we were constantly giving giving giving. I thought that's how all Christians lived.

I am shocked with the complacency that has crept into our culture. "I am just so busy." With what? Honoring God? Raising kids? My answer to these questions is always no. Not that I am dishonoring God intentionally, but if I am not living FOR God with intention, I am choosing that other guy, and well. He is an idiot.

So, I have to ask, are you following God or are you in the idiot parade. If you aren't sure, JUMP to the right, cause chances are you aren't quite where God wants you.
This guy, Dan, on the other hand. I want to be him when I grow up. (And the way my mustache is changing with age, I may ACTUALLY BE this man when I grow up.)

http://www.wimp.com/gooddan/

Diligence

Diligence has never been my strongest attribute. I try to focus on the spirit of procrastination rather than the spirit of self control (which leads to accomplishing instead of staying up all hours watching Friends). I find myself being challenged in nearly all areas of my life with this funny D word.

• We are rounding the end of the school year, and as much as I would LOVE to have a paycheck all summer, I am really looking forward to a break from my work responsibilities. Really, I would just like a change of pace. I enjoy routine, but too little change can lead to monotony. I need to be diligent.

• I am week two into a 6 week Bible study. Week one I was gang-busters out the gate. This week's focus is counter intuitive to my learning style, so the challenge is greater. Last week, I diagrammed verses from the Bible for more clarity. Easy as pie (whatever that means). But I loved it. Like I love pie, so I guess it's a good metaphor after all. This week, we are supposed to picture the scene, picture ourselves there, and put ourselves into the shoes of each character of various parables. My ADD kicks in and my mind wanders. Can't I just read it and then write about it? Can't I just talk it over with someone? Can't I just fill out a worksheet or something? Can't I... Can't I....? Fine. I need to be diligent.

• We have begun the overwhelming (and not going well) journey of a debt free life. I am super uncomfortable, I feel like washing my hands of all of it, and God is opening my eyes to what His word says about the whole thing. So, of course, now I am feeling conviction and the need for repenting. To top it off, we are the poorest we have been in well over a decade, only this time we have all these short people to consider. I am aggravated, and honestly, I find myself mulling over the idea that God could be doing more. Clearly He has done enough. Clearly I am feeling sorry for myself. Clearly I do not know God well enough. Clearly my angry eyebrows are blocking my vision. I need to be diligent.

• I know God has called me to be a writer. He has dropped a bundle of words in my lap and is asking me to arrange them between a front and back cover. I now have to find the brawniness to pull up my bootstraps bootstraps and keep writing. I have much to say, but I am trying to disregard all that and focus only on what God wants to say through me. But, along with my hair, my head is very not small. I am a large opponent to myself, so it takes a while to settle in and fight myself down so I can hear what needs to be heard. I need to be diligent.

Can You Tell Me Why

• every time I log on to Firefox it wants to update me, even if I have in fact only updated minutes before signing in?
• mice want to eat through my wall, literally, eat through my wall?
• I can't grasp being content like Paul?
• I suffer from allergies on snowy days?
• teenagers must fight against showering?
• I make plans to work out, but instead of seizing the moment, I wait, and then sleep on my couch instead?
• some people do not laugh at The Breakfast Club?
• we do not have our own television show?

You Are The Music In Me

Bible learning I can grasp. I love this song. Don't forget to pause the music over there. See me pointing?

Hilarious

Watch this.

Back to the Living

I have been sick for EVER. OK not forever, and I know there are people who really have been sick their whole lives, so I shouldn't complain. But MAN, when a family depends on their mamma the way my big family depends on a girl like me, being sick can really change the mood.

I have noticed a lack of happiness, laughter, and kindness. I no longer want to fall asleep on the couch and pretend not to hear. Now that I am on the mend, it's time to get back to my typical in your face approach to parenting. Sometimes this looks like a stern warning. Other times it looks like an impromptu musical. Always though, it looks like taking account for ones actions.

You break it, you buy it. You spill it, you clean it. You take it out, you put it away. You hurt it, you mend it. You complain about it, you come up with a better solution. Today, I spent my time paying attention to the tones and words and under current of grumpiness in each of us. Then, I used proximity and the previously mentioned in your face approach to nip those attitudes in their buds. Finally, I realized I am exhausted because parenting is a lot of freaking work. In the eloquent words of those WipeOut hosts, "Good night, and big balls."

Ode

I realize heroes usually posses stellar qualities in several areas of their lives, but I don't hesitate to say Whitney Houston was one of my life long heroes. She gave me a voice to sing, and stage moves to practice. I loved her. My heart is very sad that she has died. Her rendition of The Star Spangled Banner is by FAR the BEST performance ever. They used to play it before every movie played on the military base, and I cry no matter how many times I see it. I miss her already.

The Truth Is

I have been too sick to focus on creating a blog.

I have eaten more sugar this week than I wanted.

I have guilt over several favors or responsibilities I am supposed to be attending to.

I am feeling slightly overstretched, so I am reverting to my old tactic of ignoring everything.

We need the money, so my schedule can't really change.

I wish my husband's love language was quality time; he would feel a lot more loved these past several weeks I spent coughing on my couch.

I hate how much I am missing my kids.

I am not scared that my daughter will be in high school next year; she is amazing, and God has big plans for her.

I wish I could take a vacation from my problems. With my husband. and my kids. and a nanny.

Madonna's half time show scared me until the final song.

I too would like to experience a gospel choir back me as I sing.

I like that Sam randomly breaks into versions of Flag of America, a song he learned from Ms. Jessica, his preschool teacher.

I wish the Super Bowl commercials were funnier this year.

I wish I could afford to send Samuel to his kindergarten full-time, which is really only part-time, but it's everyday.

I wish I had an office in which I could work on my book and hang up my research.

I would probably be lonely as my love language IS in fact quality time.

Reasons v Excuses

There are 163,000,000 reasons to follow what God asks of you. You can make a tiny step, or you can make a big step. Either way, you will make a difference. Click to watch this video.

A Little Fresh Air

Many things make me feel like I just got a dose of fresh air: A real conversation with someone at our new church, the promise of future conversations, the pastor promising me an interview FOR THE BOOK, God's presence in worship, God's presence in the teaching, and in fact, fresh air.
We got home from church and pulled everything edible out of our fridge. It was a quick process. We chowed down a weird smorgasbord of lunch, and then I announced, "I need some fresh air." Only no one was around to hear me. So I told my husband I needed to get out of the house and promptly made a list of things I could do. I am not sure what his brain was thinking, but his face was saying, "Didn't you just get IN the house? You were out. And then you came in. And now you want to go out...." His mouth said sure, and then he said something like, "Eli, come and watch this football game with me. What? Son, what are you doing? Stop sewing and watch this game with me." Then he sighed inwardly. Poor guy.

Slacker

I talked to a friend yesterday. Her name rhymes with Sharon. I call her that behind her back. (That's a lie; I call her Schrute). Anyhoo, she mentioned a call God has spoken to her regularly for several years that she wants to be more aggressive about living out. Frankly, I already think she is pretty awesome, and has probably let more of this calling in than she realizes. But, this got me thinking; this morning I was reminded of a project God placed in my mind, soul, heart, gut, and my lap. He probably even tied it via little strings to my ankles, but I have been running 50 miles an hour like Phoebe Buffay, so I have not noticed.
Several years ago, God said, "Hey, write this book."
Because I am a project planner, I set up files in my computer. I did research. Lots of it. I sent out surveys to moms. I calculated results. I constantly collect excerpts from writings and label it FOR THE BOOK. I wrote four chapters (mostly all completed). I outlined. I wrote. I read a gazillion books.
Because I am not a project finisher, I have yet to finish.

I had a dream a few years back that I walked into a book store and saw my book for sale on the shelf. I was SO excited! The book looked amazing! Was I really a published author!! For sale in a major bookstore? No, actually. When I turned the book over, some other woman's face was there, having actually listened to God's call, not just planned for it. OUCH. Then we got laid off, and life was in upheaval, and I was in college and couldn't wrap my head around any of it.
So when Schrute brought this up, it stuck with me all the way until this morning's bible study when BAM, God did it again. I am on it. I have no excuses. This is the year. I am going in.

And while this may be the longest post you will ever read on this blog, I am including an excerpt of my book Missionary Mom by Shontell Brewer below.(Dear Lord, please don't let anyone steal my title).

On doing a little research on women who accomplished much and changed the world in some way, I read Gilda Radner's It's Always Something (Radner, G., 1989).

"When I was little, my nurse Dibby's cousin had a dog, just a mutt, and the dog was pregnant. I don't know how long dogs are pregnant, but she was due to have her puppies in about a week. She was out in the yard one day and got in the way of the lawn mower and her two hind legs got cut off. They rushed her to the vet and he said, 'I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want, but the puppies are okay. She'll be able to deliver the puppies.'

Dibby's cousin said, "Keep her alive."

So the vet sewed up her backside, and over the next week the dog learned to walk.She didn't spend any time worrying, she just learned to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside, and then taking two steps and flipping up her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her."

From birth, we are learning from the adults around us, as is human nature. If those leading are too far fetched or cause too much pain, we may look elsewhere. Unfortunately, especially when we are hurting, our judgement is not brilliant. Girls turn to boyfriends, and boys turn to trouble in many varieties. A puppy learns how to walk from his mamma. A child learns to EVERYthing from his mother. So, the next time your bundle of joy throws a tantrum, and you want to chalk it up to human nature, you may want to remind yourself that you are the human Baby is naturally following. And, now you are thinking the "P" word right? But, it's probably the wrong one. 

Think PURPOSE not PRESSURE.

Think OPPORTUNITY not OVERWHELMING.

You may feel as if your children are being pulled in every direction except the right one and that your input is small. Be reassured that God has placed that little bundle in your hands. Not the lady next door who seems to have it all together. Not the pastor whose prayers get heard before yours because he is of the cloth (not something; we all wear cloth). 

Children will mimic your walk, your laugh, your handwriting, your love for your favorite football team, and your stance on organic produce. 

They will also mimic what really matters:

your faith

your peace

your mercy

your grace

your willingness

your love

your joy

your kindness

your patience

your goodness

your gentleness

and your self-control

How do I know? Because the Bible tells me so. Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not part from it." (KJV) 

What can you do today to seize the opportunity to be purposeful in your child's life? Sure, you could pack your bags and whisk little Jimmy on the next plane to Africa to be a missionary. But, wouldn't holding the door for the lady with the stroller teach him the same thing? Wouldn't tithing at your church teach him the same thing? Wouldn't stopping your day to pray for someone in need, and then giving whatever you could to help that person do the same thing? If missionaries travel far and wide to show people the love of Jesus, couldn't you just look around and show people the love of Jesus? Who knows; maybe the next time you walk through a door it will be little Jimmy that says, "Here, let me get that for you. My mom taught me this."

Thanks Erin. Click.

Ode

I have a friend named Nat;
she knows just where I'm at.
She laughs at my jokes,
and she gets me my smokes
half price at the corner store.

She gave birth to a girl,
We will call her monkey.
She gave birth to a boy,
a pirate with a pet flea.
Two punks I sure adore.

Now, for the man she loves
those two are turtle doves.
He calls her Hot Toes Nat,
and she calls him Chris Hef
They smooch and smooch galore.

She says the weirdest words
donesky, Clyde, and biscuit,
She'll talk about your mom,
and tell you your da'bomb
and make you laugh til you pee on the floor.
The
End

I Stole This Idea

Love
Not so much

• I love smelly good lotion
• not so much perfume
• I love movies
• not so much overly foul ones
• I love vintage cars
• not so much their willingness to break down so often
• I love coffee
• not so much tea
• I love honey
• not so much the sticky
• I love soup
• not so much red meat
• I love writing for fun
• not so much with a deadline
• I love Friends
• not so much that it's over :(
• I love french fries
• not so much the chubby belly they give me
• I love my iPhone
• not so much the bill that comes with it

Goals: 2012

Well, I didn't finish my post a day as strongly as I wanted, but my cold is hanging on strong. Chiropractor today at three. Praying he makes a difference in my life. I start my second job tomorrow: after school tutoring. I am excited for the difference it will make in our house toward our debt, which brings me to this year's goals.

• As I mentioned, we have gotten our Dave Ramsey on. My brother said I got Dave Ramsey'd. Ouch. and Ew. Gross, Mo. But he is right. We are looking at making a few temporary, but drastic, changes to our finances. That's the number one goal for The Man and I.
• Next for me? I want to focus on Rosalie, my oh so pretty guitar. In six months, I hope to have 3 songs mastered. I have written several worship songs that need to find their way to the proper chords and then to my guitar. Glad George Dahir is coming at the end of the month. He is good at that beeswax.
• In addition to getting over this crapping cold, I plan to train for a 10K. I want a destination spot like Reno or Omaha. Kidding. About the location only. As soon as I can lay prone without coughing, I will start this and hopefully meet my friends at the starting line (those of you reading, I am speaking to you).
• Next fall, my ultimate goal and focus will be securing a full-time teaching position wherever God sees fit to place me. My prayers mention the school I currently work at because I love the people who work there including the principal, and the kids are hilarious. I am shooting for second grade. (Hear that, Jesus? Second grade).
• Quality time: this is my goal in general. I want quality time with my husband. I want quality time with my kids, together and individually. I want quality time with myself, which incidentally leads to quality time with my friends. 
• Finally, I want to be a giver. Randomly. Purposefully. Spontaneously. Contemplatively. I want to out give God. I realize it isn't possible, but it's a good goal. 

What are your goals?

•  

Day 29

I am feeling better. Thanks for the prayers, yo. Day 29 wasn't pretty, but I got to read some more of my book, which is always a happy event. I joined a book club. We are reading Cutting For Stone. So far it is scandalous and very well written. Someone, someday, somewheres is going to put my book down and say, "That Shontell is sure well written." Amen.

Why I Like Mike #29

He remembers to buy me cough medicine when I forget it for myself. I know it's early, but I woke this morning, not from coughing or a cricked neck from sleeping on the couch. I woke early because I actually slept most of the night. Thanks for taking care of me babe.

Day 28

I came. I coughed up a lung. I bruised my diaphragm. No kidding. That's what it feels like.

Day 27

My head is fuzzy. I want to do something fun like scrapbook. Instead, I am sitting on my couch, sweating, then cold while Sam coughs all over his sister. My future is bleak. Ideally, my room would be clean, as I had planned this morning, and I would be ending my night reading Harry Potter the Seventh to my kids and scrapping whilst I watch a movie. It's not going to happen. Is 7:16 too early to send my kids to bed for the night even if it's a vacation day? BAH.
Ps. sorry for the grumpiness of this post. I feel miserable.