Nonsense at its Finest: moments

The Greatest Things My Kids Say

Sam (8)::talking about who knows what:: I just want a really meaty tube::then Izzy chokes::
Elijah (11)::After I ask him what he wants for his birthday:: Some wife beater tank tops and new tennis shoes (because he is apparently planning a quick get away??)
Sam (6): I am allergic to peanut butter because I am a man of God.
Addie(6):: to Eli after I told him to put away the dishes:: Hey, I just got a text from your mom. She said PUT AWAY THE DISHES!!
Sam (4)::after I told him he is not being a good listener:: YOU are not a good LISTENER!!!
Izzy (12):: after I make fun of her:: Your face is ugly.
Sam (4):: after being told to sit properly at the dinner table:: I am just a kid! A TINY tiny KID!
Sam (4): Are we really not going anywhere? We are just walking? (me: yes) ::Sam with a mad face:: You are rude.
Addie (4): Mommy, Nanie is a toddler because she is so short.
Addie (4): ::eye roll:: That is ridiculous.
Layla (6) ::after Eli said 'who's Taylor Swift?':: She is part of the Swift family.
ADDIE (3) ::to the tune of Holy, Holy:: holy, moley, mooooley
SAM (nearly 2) You're EW! ::laugh maniacally::
ELI (3) HMMM! That's weird. My weiner won't go down.
Isabelle (4) ::laughing:: Oh Mommie, you crap me up!
ELI (6) ::with tear filled eyes after learning about slavery:: That means Auntie Mel couldn't have married Uncle Kristopher and she would be our slave!!
Layla (4) ::after I jokingly said we were driving the children to the desert to drop them off:: SNIFF Really, Mommie!??