hear ye hear ye

moses is officially the worst passer onner of great news. and mr pete. shame ..a plague on you and your household. phooey. I AM GOING TO BE ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!! i got a letter a couple weeks ago and called the church almost instantly!! i dont know yet when i will be filming. but please pray i win big ooh and that i i get to tape down in vegas. they said it would be there or in LA. equally as hot, but nowhere near my family to offer free room and board and babysitting. incidentally if we arent able to take any of our kids and any of you want to volunteer for that wonderful experience, i promise to throw in a shiny new quarter :) p.s. i rule. i mean God is so cool at prayer answering. p.s.s why cant i push return and go to the next line. sigh.

oh those magical little characters

ya know, when i think of pooh bear and piglet i get misty. i think of my kids as babies. i think of that song playing at my wedding and my brother pretty much losing it, cause all growing up i had called him kristopher robin. sweet memories. buuut i am forever tainted thanks to layla grace. yes, that sweet little three y-o. she is without a doubt on my top five list for the oddest people i know. our conversation at dinner the other night went something like this: Layla- i have to go poo.... and she trails off knowing i am going to yell at her for talking grossly at the table. i ask her to repeat herself but figure out a knew way to say it so she isnt being gross. she says "i have to go pooh bear. is that okay? " how do i work with that? to make it better the next day she decided it should be called pooh bear for #1 and piglet for #2. sigh.

yummy to my tummy

hey it's girl scout cookie time and my daughter happens to be a girl scout. anyone wanna support her to becoming a stronger, more in touch with nature, able to tie a knot when she is in a pickle future? puuhhhlease!!!! remember when we home school and dont have a car to be involved in ANY outside activities and! go to a smallish church. we have no friends. please help. we are already shipping most of our boxes out of state. how sad.

i'd like to throw a shout out to noel for buying some thin mints and let you know that you can have three cookies and still be within a healthy dessert range according to First Place. lol.

proverbs

whoever said no news is good news is stupid. :/
i havent gotten a wheel letter. i only have till wednesday. this makes me nervous. quick someone tell me one of those great stories where God waited till the very last second...oh wait i have one. abraham.
thats a good one. i bet isaac thought his dad was just whacky.

a prophetic word

sooo. church on sunday was great. worship was great...er what i heard of it after being 15 minutes late. but i have to be honest and say that, realizing this is never God's intention, i get nervous when someone stands to give a prophetic word. especially about specific individuals. somewhat cause people can be lunatics and just spout silliness not at all prophetic or from God. trusting our pastor's judgement it was easy to go along. but then the what if's creep in and suddenly by brain is flooded with the memories of all the rotten just plain awful things i have done or been a part of in my life. even the time when my parents were divorcing and i told my mom i wanted to live with my dad. i was rotten about it. just mean. she was trying to takie me out to dinner and i was just angry and, well, 14 and emotional so i refused to eat even though i was seriously starving. actually i could really go for that pizza NOW. ::snicker::
anyway. it is so bad in my mind that i was even waiting for a call from louie asking me to come back to church cause johanass (sp?) forgot someone. ack! i have issues. but really, was no one else a little nervous?
and on another note, isnt there supposed to be some verification when someone stands before a congregation and prophesies? just curious.

dont you love it?

i love when i aske my kids (layla usually) how something happened and they reply with the "it was on accident" line. today i wasnt falling for it because no matter how you slice it, there is NO way you can "accidentally" put a popcorn seed in the electric pencil sharpener. that is right up there with accidentally getting pregnant. yah...okay!
at least she isnt choving the popcorn seed in places it will eventually begin to smell :/ ew.

why i like mike #8

he won't go into bed at night without me. even if i have hours of work and he has to be up at 2am (which happens regularly. you should thank him for your snowless roads and debris-less under bridges) he will sleep on the couch until i am ready for bed. then neither of us are lonely. he is my lobster. (another friends ref.)

the studio is full of prizes just waiting to be won!

BY MEEEEE!!!
guess what i got in my email box yesterday....just guess...you'll never guess so let me tell you.
as it turns out the WHEEL OF FORTUNE has asked me to come back for a final audition. :)
soooo. set your prayer clocks for wednesday jan 18th at 2:30. that is my interview. i need my voice to be back so i can sing if they ask me if i have any special talents. i realize this is not american idol (sadly i am officially too old) but on stage in front of all those people that are just too excited to be there! they love singers. it worked for my sis in law who left that stage with 20 something g's.
yay for me yay for me. i have made my husband smile twice in one month. gitty smiling too. first the whole boy thing....then the wheel. and honestly american idol is starting its new season the night before my audition! could i *be any happier (say this in your best chinandler bong voice )

thank you Lord

"for God so loved the world that he didn't send a committee."

thanks for enduring me, Lord. sorry it will take longer than the Israelites. :/
all prayers welcome.


oh yah.... and we are having a..... BOY! :)

baby?

soooo we spent all day on the phone with insurance regarding vasectomies and ultrasounds. what did YOU do today?
we get to find out our baby gender on thursday....any wagers.
i say girl. dont tell the man i said that! :/

this just in!

as i am sitting here typing, i hear this strange conversation.

layla- eli can i smell your fingers
all eyes whip around to her.
dh- layla, why do you want to smell your brother's fingers?
layla- cause i wanna see if they smell, if he has been digging in his butt.
:0 WHAT!!
long pause
layla- they smelled last night.
eli-thats cause i was digging in my butt last night.

visual-during this entire conversation eli is happily shoving his fingers into layla's face.

you kiss your mother with that mouth

conversations with eli..with interjections of clarity by layla

riding along in our blue mobile-
eli-chloe brought a friend to church today and she was wearing a yellow shirt and i dont know who the hell she was, but she was in our clas...
me- >:0 what did you just say?
eli- i said chloe brought a friend to church and she was wearing a yellow....
me-no, i heard you, i just want you to tell me the words you said.
eli- (in a real slow you-are-a-little-dense-voice)* I SAAAAAID CHLOOOOOEEEE BROOOUUUGHT.....
me- ELI! you dont need to talk slowly to mommy, i want to know....
layla interrupts in a sudden and strange southernish accent- he said who in the hell. he said who in the hell. he didnt know who in the HELL...
me- AARRGH!!! STOP SAYING IT!! ::blink blink:: do you guys know the word hell is a bad word when you use it like that.
::silence::
i repeat.
kids-quiet and quickly- no.
me- okay well, you know now, so no more of that. let's listen to music and take a break from stories for a little while. (had to move mirrors so kids couldnt see me cracking up)

*i wonder where he picked up on this tone....hmm. dad's can be such a rotten influence aye? :)

it's beginning to look a lot like......

the holidays. :) aren't you all fuming that i said happy holidays rather than merry christmas. my sil ( sis-in-law) and i were discussing the funniness we feel toward the WAR ON CHRISTMAS! i feel like i need to growl out an attack noise everytime i say that.
and now all i am saying is WHO CARES?!! give peas a chance people.
on msnbc the other night three people (a priest, a christian advocate, and some other man - a little bit this sounds like the start of a great joke, aye?)
anyhoo. they were discussing the presidents cards he sent out this year and the fact that he chose happy holidays as his greeting rather than merry christmas.
advocate- (the shontell short and funnier translation SSFT) this is an outrage! he is a prodistant and people need to be hearing the words MERRY CHRISTMAS, not happy holidays. he is doing this for political gain. (side note-uum he is already in office...and cant be elected again. he could go all "bill clinton" and be, well.....bill clinton if he wanted) if i got a card from the president that said happy holidays, as a christian, i would be outraged!
priest- wow, if i got one i wouldnt open it and say "what the HECK! happy holidays?" i would say "HOLY COW I GOT A CARD FROM THE PRESIDENT!"

and in the wise words of my sil "i wouldn't even care if someone said happy hannukuh, i would just be happy that when they were talking to me, it was nice!"

"This place reminds me of Santa's workshop. Except here it smells like mushrooms and everyone wants to hurt me."-Buddy the Elf

wow

it tool me twenty minutes to open this stinkin page and now i dont really have anything to say. i am ready for a nap. mostly cause i stayed awake too late making my christmas list :) and because both babies (my inny and my outy) decided they were hungry at 5:30 this morning.

i miss being here though. much has happened since i have posted last. the worst is that marie knows more about what goes on in blog-land than i do. :/ how sad. i am so out of the loop of life. siiigh.
i have started my second trimester of baby hood and all is going well with a confirmed ONE baby in there, so all of your comments have permission to cease. :)
in addition, my fourth child has celebrated her 1st birthday (YAY ADDIE) :)
i have started a new job
in turn, the man has quit working at the Depot (and for your info, they dont offer an employee discount. isnt that strange. in the words of my sister "why would someone want to work there? to be close to tools?")
kay, gotta go, the man is on snow plow patrol and they could be calling for him. hopefully see you at church

::sniff::

my little boy is growing up.

conversation with Eli and my mother in law

eli: hmm. that's weird. (furrowed brow)
MIL: what's weird?
eli: my penis won't lay down.
MIL: uuh.well, just leave it alone. i am sure it will in a little while.

me: ROFL!!!!

funnier

If I could have dinner with one historical leader, it would have to be Gandhi, because I'd be all like, "Are you gonnaeat that?" and he'd be all like, "No." (Travis Ruetenik)

sweet

funny

Whenever someone dies and someone elsesays they're "in a better place now,"I wonder how bad their apartment couldpossibly have been that a hole in theground would be considered a step up. (Anthony Myers)

giggle

oh it has been so long

yaaaawn. mid-day slump. not!!! mid-day hump as some people keep insisting. silly boys.
i need a new computer. this one keeps telling me i am not old enough to check my blogs @@. and then sometimes it tells me i dont have qualifying credentials. excuse me!

anyhoo. some funniness from prayers last night.
layla-( after i asked them to pray for a peaceful nights sleep)
dear Lord. oooh Lord. just give us a piece of sleep, please. ooh Lord.

eli- dear Jesus, please help my dad be a good boy. sometimes he is rotten. ( giggle)

yikes

Late last night, when I stumbled home drunk,
pissed off and looking for a fight, my adorable
little 4-year-old Debbie Sue ran and hid
the kitchen knives all on her own.
Kids -- they grow up so fast, don't they?

(Chris MacEachen)

tis the season to be merry.

it's holiday times folks. time to bust out those favorite holiday movies. personally i like to get all caught up on my national lampoons around this time. "Is rusty still in the naaavy?"
that aunt bethany has still got it!
i am seeing decorations out in the local Wally World.(walmart) and even some tidbits of "getting ready" on the radio, Christmas contests and what not. ( have i ever mentioned my love for what not? any party that includes what not is goodtimes imo) anyhoo. and now i am receiving those weird random gadgets catologs in the mail. they sell hip and now things like "i'm with stupid" tee shirts and screen doors that require no assembly. but this year my catolog featured an extra special gift to give. i just really need to find that right special someone.
it is called 90 minute nude aerobics. ONLY $14.99!! what a steal. i felt strange seeing it next to the "in the cookie of life..friendship" pillow. and below the neon cross (dont you worry lou..thats got your name all over it!!)
but i feel torn between a few people that would really fit this gift. i mean of course i will use my husbands name when ordering! i have dignity! and i will give the present from the kids. but who...oh who..is worthy of such a gift.
i think the winner has to be my dad. aaaah. my dad. one year each of the kids (all married) in my family {that's me and my three brothers} got a mysterious phone call from dad saying he sent each couple a present and to please just be open to it. i told him not to worry and would, with out opening it, stamp return to sender immediately. he promised it would be okay. a week later we each got three unmarked vhs tapes. and strangely our spouses were the only ones who felt the need to look any further. and wouldnt you know? what a giver. Dad had given the gift of "how to sunthin sunthin videos" i cant tell what an experience it is to get instructive porn from your dad. precious. it is precious. but only because it has now opened an unclosable door for ANY PRESENT WE EVER WANTED TO GET HIM!! merry christmas dad.