New Trends

There are trends and happenings and goings on around me that I don't totally understand. I will admit that there are a few times, when listening to teenagers, I feel old because I don't totally understand what is playing out. For instance, Gangnam Style.

There have been plenty of opportunities for this song and dance style in my life, but they were all mocking. Was I supposed to really like this song? I feel like the only one who got the joke, but maybe the joke is really on me because that music is off the chain. I don't even know what I am saying now. Totally grasping at straws to seem rad… no? Too soon?

Another trend that befuddles me is the return of mom jeans. Seriously, people who make clothes popular?? Yah. Im talking to YOU. Why would you do this? It's cruel. Our teens look weird. Mom jeans are NOT the same as high waisted pants. Classic women from decades past have brilliantly pulled off high waisted shorts, pants, and skirts. This isn't what you are doing. You are buying the most mocked jeans of the century, and then you cut them and make them what will likely turn into the most mocked shorts in history. No ones pockets should be that high. There should NEVER be pleats in your jeans. And you shouldn't create hips because you managed to cinch your belt. (Which actually creates pleats and gives me heart issues). If Saturday Night Live has done a comedy sketch simply to make mock of a clothing item. I think that's a good indication that we need to let this trend die. Do it for the children. Do it for my eyes.


No.

 Yes.



















THESE ARE NOT CREATED EQUALLY.

One last thought, which isn't really a trend at all, but a reoccurring happening is my morning sneezes. About ten or fifteen every morning. What. Is. HAPPENING? Seriously. I am waking up because I am sneezing. I'm asleep. And then I sneeze. And then I wake up. How? Why? What do I do? Oh. And it's at five EVERY morning. Five. In the aye em. An hour and fifteen minutes before my alarm. This trend is just rude. 

Did I miss something? Are there other trends that make you want to punch a kitten? I didn't even bring up Honey Boo Boo. The previews gross me out. I can't even watch the previews. 

I'm a Rebel, Dottie

I was flipping through Pinterest one day and came across a DIY blog that had a well  written author and cute ideas. I saved the blog to my bookmarks. 

This morning, when I woke at five because my internal clock obviously functions on New York time (I don't have the answers you are looking for), I read my bible, read a devotional, checked my emails, prayed for a few people on my mind, read through my list of blogs in my bookmarks; you know. The yoosh. 

So this new blog, which has decidedly been removed from my list, hasn't made the cut. And it isn't just the author. Although she's slightly bonkers in her angry stage. Her readers and their comments hurt too much. 

She wrote about how tired she is of women being asked to dress modestly. She quoted scripture, confessed to being no longer Christian, and belittled men for being so simple minded. And like a true politician, she incited the riot, and then she cut bait. She had so many comments: back and forth arguments. It was crowd mentality at its finest. This is nothing like nonsense at its finest. Well. Not really. 

She blames the church. Well who doesn't, lady. It makes sense though, since God created everything. But in a way, blaming God (because deep down we all know he is the beginning and the end -it's why everyone on a crashing plane prays) just proves that he pretty big. 

She blames men. She blames society. And the most interesting point? When she blames rapists for blaming women. Weird but true. I'd love to see the research on this. 

My question isn't about modesty at all. It's more about why people get so heated over things that are so minor. 

Hear me out. Modesty is important. I know what you are doing when your boobs show. I know what you are looking for when you wear those short shorts and then pretend you don't see when people are looking. I have boobs. I get it. 

But what does religion have to do with modesty? Nearly the entire thread of comments was about "as a Christian". At one point, a woman introduced herself as a Mormon and preceded it with "Christian or not". Whoa lady. You better check yourself. Before you wreck yourself. (Is it her fault if these readers do not understand the rules of word modifiers? What she meant was this isn't a religious issue). 

And I agree. We all live on the same earth, but we do not all live in the same world. We just don't. I have never been raised in a male dominated country (although my grandfather might have sent me on a ship back to Lebanon if my family would have let him. He had hopes I would be a belly dancer. Aw. Grandpa. Funny.) I have never had sisters. I have never lived as a girl who DIDN'T have three older brothers. Our worlds aren't the same. 

My modesty levels were not set by the church. They were set by my brothers. And not because they were getting back to their Lebanese roots and bossing me as the men. They approved or disapproved based on their experience as dudes. And I approved and disapproved based on my experience as a chick. I never want my body to be a conversation piece, even as someone's inter dialogue. 

And someone along the way reminded me that one day I'll have a husband, and while I don't mean I am a possession when I say I belong to my husband, 

well. 

I belong to my husband. He belongs to me. It's even. We are gifts, not property. 

It's not religion. It's self respect. It's not men's incapable feeble minds. It's respecting others. 

Men aren't feeble. They are more than capable. They are strong and gentle and full of all the gifts God left to them : love, kindness, self-control…

Their shoulders are literally broad for a figurative reason. They carry so much. Why does it offend so many women to cover up a smidgeon and help them focus?

It's pride. We feel a certain way when we dress a certain way so we ignore how it might affect others. 

Less religion and more common sense. Because hey, if I knew you loved alcohol. I mean REALLY loved alcohol. And maybe it's caused you to slip up a few times, would I walk by you on the street and offer you a drink? Would I invite you to a movie or church or the roller rink and hold my drink in your face, daring you not to touch and being offended when you did? No. I do what most Christians do: drink in private and share a bottle of water with you ;)

Mostly what I want to say is thanks for being intelligent. I'm glad you don't attack one another in the comment section. "I like the way you talk".  

Sometimes I Can't Sleep

So I toss and turn until my brain gets so full I have to do something about it. I guess I'll write to you people. Because I like you.

The birds are up and at 'em. Boy howdy, those guys sure like to make some noise in the four o'clock hour. I like it though. We have so many trees in our neighborhood, there's bound to be a good nest or two to study in the fall with the kiddos. 

Homeschooling again excites me. We have submitted most of our paperwork to the online school in which the kids will participate. They are a very organized group, but can I just say, the lady on my case is on my case. Know what I mean? She calls every three days. "It's protocol" and by that she means "listen big haired lady. I have a job to do, and no matter what we may have agreed upon, I am going to call you and pretend that agreed upon never happened. Gimme your paperwork, and nobody gets hurt!"

For instance. I sent everything except proof of residence (I forgot), Elijah's shot record update (he hasn't updated it on account of I haven't taken him to get his shot on account of we were in Vegas for the week, which she also knew), and the kids' most recent report cards (because I JUST got them in the mail late Friday night). So Stalky McStalkerton called TWICE and sent TWO emails yesterday. I missed both of her calls, so I called her back. I was one of those people who says you are crazy, but I begin the conversation in my smiling voice and the phrase, "with all due respect," and when I assume she is getting upset I remind her, "hey. I said with all due respect. You are sort of a stalker. Sometimes I talk, and you hear 'I am sending you paperwork this instant' instead of what I really said, which is 'back off crazy town. I'll win this.'" Ok. That was mostly inter-dialogue, but she's scared. 

Don't get me wrong. We have enjoyed this school program, and I'd recommend it to almost anyone. It's just that this lady takes her job very seriously. Paperwork is  NOT a laughing matter. 

[insert random office quote] yah, I have lots of questions. First of all, how dare you?

So I guess I will be taking my son for his shot this week. Faxing in a few papers. And singing Brass Monkey by the Beastie Boys, which I used to think was about a guy with a lot of stress, but fancy stress, so his monkey is brass. Now I am beginning to think it's a drug reference. Maybe I'll find a new song. 

[insert random office quote] 

Michael: Hmm... Jim? I am downloading some N3P...

Jim: That's not it.

Michael: Music...

Jim: Yeah.

Michael: For a CD mix tape...

Jim: Close.

Michael: For Holly.

Jim: Mmhmm.

Michael: And I'm looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.

Jim: What are the two levels?

Michael: The two levels being, uh, Welcome to Scranton...

Jim: Mmhmm.

Michael: And I love you.

While we are on the subject, I miss The Office. Those guys have been in my life, faithful for years. Now they are just some friends I used to know from Scranton. 

I went to the gym yesterday. It was quick and painful. CrossFit you two- timing back stabber. I can hardly walk up (or down) my stairs. I hope you are happy with yourself. I look like an idiot. 

Today should be exciting. It's day two of my job. Yesterday went well. I ate a healthy lunch and drank a seriously delicious cafe mocha, straight from the Keurig. Is this even how you spell this funny name? Whatevers. It was yum.

Today though, I get to take two teenagers (one who has my snarky wit and is merely using my place of business as a pick up joint. I mean she Is being picked up there by a friend. And another who is spending the day with me because I like her. She's not my kid. Just on loan.)

  Also, I get a new computer, and I have a meeting with a former student's mamma. She works at this crazy great blog/website  called Just For You Mom.* She said she might want me to write a little ditty or a little datty for the blog. I am super stoked, because that would be brilliant that's why. 

*if you are reading this before the new computer is up and running, this won't be a link. If you are reading this after I add the link, and you are a mom, check out that website. RESOURCES galore! Encouraging words. Some funny. Maybe this girl. We will see. It would be fun to have a different venue every once in a while. 

[insert random office quote]

Michael: We're like Friends. I am Chandler, and Joey, and Pam is Rachel, and Dwight is Kramer.

Back to sleep. Maybe I can get a full forty five minutes. 

Ps this picture makes my uterus arise from its slumber and quiver and reconsider my adamant stance on the residence there.

Listen Here People

I have something to say. Well, probably, but I cannot think of it straight off. So I'll ramble on, which, jayehs, is a great song. Thank you Led Zeppelin. You have helped me through many a night.

Ramble One (or two in case you thought that Zeppelin bit was a tad random): This week I am finishing my first session of professing. Most of you know, but any of you newbies may not have heard I teach English as a professor at the local community college. It's the most favorite of every job I have ever had. I feel it is the most worthwhile career after being  wife and a mom. And. I have to quit. sad. sad. sigh. Tomorrow is my last night. I don't think I can handle my day job, homeschooling, and teaching four nights a week. Not yet.I am still praying that maybe I can fit it into my daytime routine, sooner rather than later. But now I know that God has given me this passion, and I am grateful he opted to let me in on that little secret. Many people miss those whispers. Lucky for me I wear hearing aides. Or, I will soon.

Ramble Two: My hearing is going. I am missing out. People speak, and I am that old lady grunting, "HUH?!" And mumblers? Forget about it. You could be saying something that would save the planet, and I won't be a part of it, because I can't hear you. I believe in healing. Two high school girls prayed over me that my hearing wouldn't even be restored, but that I would receive new hearing. I hope they didn't mean hearing aides.

Ramble Three: I got a text from my friend Liz today. She lives in Florida. I met her when we both lived in California, way back in the day. She is awesome. Weird. Always available when I need to hash it out at 3am Pacific/Standard time. Thanks Liz. This one's for you.

Ramble Four: I don't at all believe in reincarnation, but if I did, I would want to come back as a bald eagle. Those guys are feisty. They fight like ninjas!! I could BE a ninja, that's fo sho.

Ramble Five: I have to figure out how to make a slideshow of about a gazillion pictures of my students. It makes me tired to think of it, but it's on my list of to-dos. That and about a trillion other things. It's tough going from one job to the next. Especially when my new job has two compartments. I am researching and working and changing and planning and meeting and dealing. All while trying to finish up my current job as kindergarten teacher and Adult Basic Ed/ English as a Second Language teacher. Oh, right, plus all my kids have end of the year nonsense, and people need me. Vacation for me means no one needing me. I haven't had that day yet. I am hoping that comes soon. When I picture it happening I am on the porch of my hotel room that overlooks the ocean in Hawaii. Or, I am on a train running through the country sides of Italy or France. In both cases, no one is needing me.

Ramble Six: The Next Food Network Star begins next week. My DVR is all set to record.

Ramble Seven: I still can't find my cards. The outline of my book is on those cards. Years of work. Missing somewhere in my house? At the coffee shop? Being used as a book mark? I don't know. Lord, please help me find my card. I want to be obedient. What should I do? "Dig another well." Ok. sad. sad sighing. I will.

Ramble Eight: I am outtie. See you in a week, Liz. AH just kidding. But let's give it a couple days.

Nonsense- It's why you are here

So why don't I just lay it all out there:

A) I want Stephanie Meyer to finish writing Midnight Sun. I don't care if she publishes it; just send me my own copy. I don't need a cover. I need more than 12 chapters of life from Edward's point of view, that's what I need.

2) My kid and I are taking another kid and another lady to a Women of Faith for teens conference in Roseville this weekend. I am so excited I may forget to do anything else. We leave Friday. We get to go to the movies, too. We are watching The Host- a Stephanie Meyer production.

3) I like salad. I don't know why I don't eat it more.

D) I am procrastinating taking a shower. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you. It's just that I have not combed my hairs in two weeks. I have washed it, but I just towel dried. This makes sense with my hairs. Not yours probably, but with my sweet fro, I don't need to comb it all the time. I would never comb it if I could get away with it, but the longer I wait, the more helmet shaped it becomes. Just trust me on this. It's science.

6) My heart hurts when little kids don't have food.

F) My heart stutters a little when I see a bald little brown boy. It's not something I am doing. It's something my heart is doing. Dear Lord and Mike Brewer, I really think I need a tan kid with the ability to grow a sweet fro. Send a boy and a girl; I don't mind. But make them mocha, and make them love me. The end. Oh, and make them potty trained.

and 11) I miss you people. I miss being here more. I miss your comments and your sassy remarks. I miss sitting on my computer scrolling all your blogs with my coffee in hand. Spring break is coming. At one point we will be down to two children. Call me crazy, but it's as if the clouds are parting to allow me to catch up. My heart feels happier already.

 NOTE: the author and finisher of this nonsense recognizes that these pictures have little to do with the topics at hand (or not because they are nonsense) and more to do with who she was thinking of at the time of this publication. If this disturbs you, follow her. See that button? push it. Push it real good.

Five Minute Friday

Don't fight it. Write for five minutes for this Friday's blog link. No editing. No back tracking. Just write. Topic? Opportunity. Ready. Steady. Go.

First of all, I am going to be typing a whole lots more slowly than usual because I may teype quickly, but there are SO many mistakes. Point proven with how I wrote the word "Type".
Opportunity? Oh we all have so many each day, every second. I know I do. I fail to make the most of most of them. I succeed in over thinking most of the ones I jump after. And if I make it that far in the process, I begin to let horrible seeds of doubt take root. Today, I had the opportunity to spend time with my kids as they got out of school early for their last day of school. I opted not to spend as much time with them because I felt my sinus infection creeping in, and I think he is here to stay. Instead, I took the opportunity to take a nap. It so rarely happens around here, and I have been getting up so butt crack of dawn early this week to get my exercise on, I wasn't going to wait to be told twice before seizing this diem.
I saw a license plate on a car that lived next door to my brother. (At least I think that's where I saw it.) It said something like CRPADIEM. I get it. Now. Carpe Diem. Then I thought it said crap a damn.

Five minutes is up.
I think I should apologize. You have to be careful when you step into this mind. It's a scary place sometimes. I am off to snuggle with my movie and tissues. Until we meet again. Crap a damn!

I came across a question today that startled me and got me thinking. Here it is:

If we are too busy to intentionally teach our children that absolute truths exist,
what might the consequences be?

Yikes. Then I began thinking, what happens when I look back and I forgot to
intentionally teach them about God in real, practical ways? I have done so
much with Izzy, Eli, and Layla Grace, but I know lately I have not been as frank
about things. Like beans. And what it means to love your neighbor. And what
God has planned for them...

Which one of these faces am I willing not to see in heaven? Stupid question,

I know, but that is basically what I am saying when I let day after day go by

without being in their face about how much God loves them. Tick-Tock. Time

is flying by.

Question (not about bears)

If galoshes are two or a pair, what do you call it when you lose one?

Let's say I have one boot on, and the other is just out of my reach. Would I say, "hand me that galosh, please?"?

Fall is Around the Corner

How do I know fall is coming? My senses tell me so.

Smells: Pumpkin spice surrounds me via candles and lattes. Cinnamon is donning the grocery store shelves as it is smothered on pine cones. My fave.

Sights: My burning maple tree has beautiful red leaves mixed with the green now. My burning bushes are bright red. Stunning. School supplies are everywhere and "If I knew your address, I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils." Three less children, except when I work at school with them.

Tastes: um. hello. I already TOLD you- pumpkin spice lattes. Baked goods al'a Auntie Mel are making chubbier. DARN YOU MELISSA AND YOUR SCRUMPTIOUS BAKED GOODS!!

Sounds: quiet. Last night, at 7:30, my herd of children were loaded into jammies and bed leaving my husband and I to snuggle under my ever-christmas lights and the glow of the television. It was excellent. Seriously excellent.

Touch: snuggling. Occasionally the weather in Reno will freak out early and give us a random chilly day. Those days I make Moby Richard sit on my feet and my children snuggle with me under my favorite family heirloom quilt.

The Sixth Sense: I see dead people...wait. sorry. never mind.

Problems

The problem with loyalty is there is little room for practicality. What I mean is when one is loyal to something or someone, and the instance arises to change being loyal to do what is best, it is difficult for that one person to make the change. I am a loyal person. I am having a difficult time choosing what is best for myself over what I am loyal to. Sometimes I wish my husband was more controlling and would just make my decisions for me. Sigh. No, no I don't, but you know what I mean.

Pause the Music

This is so random.

Trendy from Casey Donahue on Vimeo.

What do you get when you cross a dear friend, her wedding anniversary, the 80s, and lady's night?

A really good time! Everyone donned pink and their favorite 80's gear. The whole night could have doubled as an ode to Napoleon Dynamite.

Happy 20th Anniversary friends :)

Joni was totally surprised, so much so she got teary. When asked what she wanted to do first, eat, chat, open presents, she said, "Can we drink?" AH!!! Your parents must be real proud, huh? I love it. I had to leave early, but not before snapping a few pics. I have held the most incriminating for private eyes only.

And then there is Lolita....

My Daily Blog Visits

This is a list of a few blogs I visit regularly. If you are in the mood for some light reading or entertainment, click a link. Enjoy.

Stuff White People Like funny

Nonsense's Cousin more of my ramblings

Step by Step from the preacher's mouth

The Pioneer Woman everything but the kitchen sink

This Is Reverb Photography from a man's point of view

Things That Make Me Happy

When people use the phrase "that's what she said"

The Office

Michael Scott dressed as Willy Wonka

PB&J

Dwight Schrute and his whole intro about his love for candy and stomach acids

KGB knock knock jokes

Michael Scott's toilet ideas

I am sorry for people who don't know what any of this means.

Sesame Street Favorite

On a Sesame Street sketch involving the sometimes controversial Bert and Ernie, Ernie was using a banana as an imaginary telephone. I was half listening to him attempt to convince Bert to give it a try. I cracked up laughing when Bert said, "Ernie, I am just not emotionally secure enough to do this."