Daddy's boy

If my husband weren't so great I would be frightened by how much my son wants to be like him. He copies everything. A week or so ago, Mike stubbed his toe on the baby's bouncy seat and thought he broke it. All is well, but the rest of the week Elijah limped and threatened the girls if they got near his "broken toe." Moms have it hard. We have a lot of molding, reaffirming, complimenting and more to do with our kiddos. But you daddies....you are the ones who make the biggest difference. Don't blow it. (That is the encouraging word of the day from shontell lol)

This would have been me. Well, maybe my hair would be a little fro-ee-er, but I would have had no problem blending nicely with the 60s: flowers, bra burnings, Woodstock. And my husband, he would have been right next to me tunic wearing, cigarette smokin', fingers forever in the peace position. Only I would have been Joan Baez before she was Joan Baez. I heard a song on the radio today on my way home from my friend No(dot dot)el's house called "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker." I can't begin to say how many times I have literally said some of the very same phrases from this song.
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
I have always said I was born too late. Funny how God works, but dh and I have always said we should have been born twenty-ish years earlier. We would have made the best hippies ever!

TWO IN A ROW

GIMME AN A!! i just finished class number two (Baby steps onto the bus. Baby steps onto the bus. "Bob, do you think you could hurry, we have a baby schedule to keep?" I know that Wing.) I just completed Humanities 100. A crazy class on the humanities ranging from prehistoric man through Islamic/ Christian eras.This picture is of the Dome of the Rock: thought ot be the site Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac. Sometime in the Middle Ages, Islam created this shrine. It really is an amazing piece of architecture. Very interesting stuff. I got an A and to celebrate, I am going to take a shower!

irritated

I am not overly sure why I am annoyed at life today. Anyone have that feeling ever? And to top it off, the only thing I can think of to do is schoolwork...which I am no longer doing on Sundays. When is Sunday over? Does the Sabbath end at sundown like the rest of those Jewish days? I am stressing about my work. Does that mean I shouold have raised my hand during question time at church today? ::sigh::

::sniff, sniff::

My baby isn't my baby any more. How sad.

Udderly Useless (I know how to spell the real word!)

So, today I practiced obvserving the Sabbath. In keeping with the movement about church and the message I agree God is speaking to our church I spent the morning with my family at church and opted to give up a few tasks I feel don't line up with ceasing. And, now that my day is done, I feel useless. I don't feel like I accomplished near enough, which I suppose is the point and the message Pastor Lou was trying to convey this morning. We are NOT loved according to our production level. So, today I was just loved. I loved my kids, cleaned a little house, watched movies, read my book, loved my kids some more, shared funny stories about my kids to my hubby once he got home from school, ate some popcorn, made dinner, looked at pictures of Sam's birth I just received from my SIL (thank you auntie mel)and invited my friend to join me for pilates tomorrow night. Okay, so I take it back. I was productive. I love it when God starts talking to me about something, and then it shows up in a sermon. It reminds me I am in the church family I am supposed to be in. But I don't so much like it when I keep hearing the same sermon over and over from various pastors or in my Bible reading. That just makes it clear that I really am not being the listener I am supposed to be :/ Baby steps into the elevator.

touchy touchy

I think it is amazing that people are content to go through everyday life without acknowledging God in anyway and then become offended when a 5 year old points out his thoughts on their beliefs. The other day, my son was talking to another of his buddies (6yrs.) and says "Kayla's parents don't believe in God." This in itself isnt bad, but when Kayla is standing right behind them and tears home screaming and crying, you know there are going to be issues.(for the record, this all happened on The Man's shift) KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Apparently Kayla's mom had been bullying my son into confessing and he was fine with sharing his opinion with her. NIICE. He plainly stated that she doesn't believe in God. Wow. That didn't sit so well with her. She was ooh so angry and let my husband have the ole cat-fight-caplooey. Now, for any of you who actually know my husband you are wondering if he punched her in the neck when she got in his face, but you can lay your fears to rest. He was holding Sam in one hand and a bottle in the other. Her neck is fine. And my son had to apologize for voicing his opinion and mostly for trying to hide the fact that an irrate woman was standing in our lawn waiting to speak to his father. All is good...ish. She threatened to "not be so nice next time." Mike said "hey, okay." in his most smart allec voice. I am so glad our family has been able to stir things up in the name of God. @@

Just a wreck

This picture captures the very essence of my mood. I like the kind of people that surprise me by actually doing what they are supposed to do when they say they are going to do it. I am all for leniency, I am no where near a first born...well, I sleep next to one and unless osmosis is real, I am unaffected by his anal stick to the rules mentality. I recognize life gets in the way more than we care to admit, but don't you think there should come a time when you realize you are dragging others down with you and you gracefully pull your self away rather than waiting to crawl out from under the pile of others once you have knocked them down? HONESTLY! Know your limits. AAAAnd on another note...My name is pot, and you weeere Kettle? sigh I have issues. I know. I just needed to vent that and I feel better now. Thanks for being a pal. You really are a super listener

that dirty little finger

So the other day during our Bible lesson, I mentioned something about substitute words for rotten things we want to say but don't want to get into trouble for. Specifically we were discussing taking God's name in vain.
Because I THOUGHT! all of my children had heard that flipping the bird was inappropriate behavior and didn't think I was introducing anything new, I used it as a comparison. My finger is just my finger because I don't have secret potty mouth issues and I am not just saying I am giving you the one way sign to Jesus while getting out earlier aggression. (Although one time I flipped my brother the ring finger as I drove next to him on the freeway...he choked on his water, which is precisely the reaction I was looking for.) ANYWAY! Substitute words....so later that day I hear the usual "OOOH YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" between the children. Apparently Layla Grace was giving Eli the ole read-between-the-lines sneaky finger. My discussion with her was brief and consisted of me saying sternly "Layla, God gave you those fingers for a reason, and it is your job to grow up and use them correctly."


With you, I have no idea what this means of course! If only you could have been in my mind. I was just cracking up at the whole idea of her flipping him off and feeling a lot of pressure to get the message across to all of the kids that this is not okay behavior! My sister said I should needlepoint it on a pillow. lol maybe. It WOULD take a really big pillow though.

Squeal Of FORTUNE

So you all know that I am waiting for The Wheel to call and give me my taping date right? I am getting so antsy. It wasn't bad when the reruns (what's a rerun?) were playing, but now that the new season has started I am as giddy as a school girl. ( I want to make love to a school boy! NO WAIT! I AM SO STUPID!) < that is a movie quote...they both are actually :)
After cleaning for a good seven hours today I thought I would reward myself with a little television. After all, I am supposed to be enjoying my Sabbath. And, because I am concerned with all things holy, it seems only natural to watch a weeks worth of Wheel of Fortune in one setting..at Tivo mode of course. :) what at treat!!

Lost in translation

For those of you who aren't familiar with American Idol or Carrie Underwood, she was last years winner? I think last year, anyway, she has a song out on country music radio called "Jesus Take the Wheel." Isabelle loves it, loves her, and I love her loving her because Carrie Underwood is a good little Christian girl. The other night at the dinner table Isabelle would randomly break into song JEEEEEsus take the wheeeeeel. So a few minutes into our meal Layla joined in, but when you are four the translation gets a little muffled. Here is Layla's version according to what each of us heard.

Mommy- Layla did you just say Jesus take the beer?
Daddy- no I think she said Jesus take the bill.
Isabelle- Oh, I thought she said Jesus take the pill!

Oh my

This is not my story, or the story of anyone I know, but I am sitting here cracking up reading it, so I thought I must share.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a Pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. the effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the devise and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time: I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit i thought about zapping gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant: a two-second burst was suppose to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer that three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference: pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I"ll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body clammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position , and a tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking, my face. undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again"
NOTE: if you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-... that hurts like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantle of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching, My face felt like it has been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lips weighed 88 pounds. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Pray for your missionaries

Today during our school prayer time we took time to pray for all of the missionaries we know. We named everyone and the kids each picked one person and prayed for them specifically. Isabelle chose my eleven year old nephew who, frankly has been on more missions than most of us. Kyle prayed for his dad and Elijah prayed for his Uncle Kristopher. Layla prayed for our own Pastor Lou. This was no ordinary prayer, and Louie...you better get ready for God to move in some mysterious ways.
Layla's prayer (as best remembered by me)

Dear Jesus, Please protect all the dictionaries (missionaries) in the world. Please keep Pastor Louie the dictionary safe when he goes on airplanes and builds peoples walls and help all those dictionaries not to get tired and help Pastor Louie not to be tired. amen

Kyle's prayer was almost equally amusing as he added "Please help my dad not to spank me so much." LOL Do you people know how hard it is not to crack right up during these times. My insides hurt!

lip smacking traditions

You all know we moved here for the rib cook off. Well, we didn't break tradition. We have quite a system. But, we forgot the floss.

scholarships

I applied for a bazillion and three scholarships before I heard that I qualified for all the poor people grants. It's all good though, frankly if I still get any one of the 10grand ones I applied for, I am buying myself a vehicle to fit my family. Prayers are welcome. Anyway, I applied for one thorugh OP Loftbed; a company that supplies loft beds to many a college. When you signed in to apply you had to read the terms and agreements section. That is all normal, except that half way through it says they arent really wanting the answer to question number three and if you write anything other than "OP Loftbed" you will be automatically disqualified. How funny is that! It was a total trick that I would normally have fallen for, but I read it without realizing that I could click that little agree button to jump ahead. Anyway, here are my answers to their questions. I can't remember if I posted these already or not. Sorry if it's a repeat.

What would you do with your time if you knew you only had 24 hours to live?
I would start with double checking in my bible to make sure I know what to expect when I go. Then I would do what every adult has dreamed of. Run with scissors, make the same face for at least an hour, sit way too close to the nonsense television show I am watching. I couldn't resist covering the stove with paper plates regardless of the many lectures I received as a kid as to the workings of a stove and what a pilot is. And to make the day especially sweet I would call my dad to let him know what a rebel I have turned into.

Describe the best practical joke you have played on someone or that someone has played on you.

The best practical jokes are the ones that turn out to not be jokes at all. Like when my brother picked up that cricket and said, "hey, when I was in Thailand they said these were a real treat." Because I am a normal human, I assumed he was joking. In the sense they say chocolate covered ants and they turn out not to be ants at all, but peanuts. Then he ate it. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Someone in my family really does eat bugs. Suddenly, I was five years old on the playground being picked on by that fat bully red head. In case I wasn't sure he was serious, he did it again.

Describe how an OP Loftbed would improve your life.

For the past nine years I have been pregnant with one of my many children. Currently pregnant with my fifth child and seriously nesting I have decided it is necessary to install wood floors in my bedroom. And, if you put in wood floors it is only natural to take up tap dancing. And, if you are going to tap, well, isn't it obvious? If I had an OP Loftbed I could use every inch of my floor. I would never have to worry about stifling the tapper within. In short, an OP Loftbed would set me free. Is there a better way to improve your life? I think not.

YAY!!

While I am a long way from finishing, I just wanted to say I got "A" in my first class. A 99%.

I love presents

Especially when they help my entire day run so fantastically. I got this very special little gift from my friend, Stephanie, who obviously knows the importance of caffeine and its effects on a body. So, hey, thanks Friend.
I admit I was a little overly attached to my last coffee maker. I didn't realize it though until I actually almost teared up when it broke. It has been laid to rest, but I haven't had the heart to throw out the pods. Sigh. I think it is time. ::sniff:: beeeee strong.

Prayer

I was reading about Solomon tonight. Not so much Moses and Noe(dot dot)l's kid as the king from the biblio. (for all of you who don't know EL NINO is Spanish for THE NINO!!)
Anyhoo, I was reading and was struck by what a great example of prayer he gives us. When Solomon has his dream and God is telling him to ask for whatever Solomon wishes, he replies with "discernment." I love it. And God was faithful right away. When the two women come in with the fued over the baby. God gave him great wisdom. I want wisdom. I want to settle squabbles between my kids in a way they learn a profound message everytime. Not just so they will call me pretty, but that they will grow up and think of their mom when they are teaching their own kids.

::singing:: my brothers and meeeee

You know that tune I am thinking of? The "My Buddy" song. Anyway, this is at my Grandpa's house the day after the funeral. My big brothers. Aren't they cute?

OMAHA ROCKS

Hello, from Omaha. Scary I know, but we made it through, the funeral, the viewing, and the ultimate family feud without a scratch. Family is funny, even more so when someone close to them dies. I don't mean your usual fighting over things left behind, or funny as in "I don't know why she isn't crying." NO, NO. This kind of funny comes when you get together with family you grew up with and don't have the chance to see very often. This time around it is my brothers. Three of them. All older and equally as funny as each other. On more than one occasion this weekend, I woke up the baby I was wearing due to the convulsion I couldn't control in my shoulders. Seriously, do you know people like that? That just make you laugh so hard you almost wish it would stop? I do. Their names are George, Kristopher, and Shane.
We traveled the old neighborhood, checked out Mosquito hill, and stopped by Nani's (my incredibly short Italian grandmother) for pie and coffee. Everything made us nostalgic. Every corner stirred a reminiscing story. Orsi's bread shop was the first stop. We ate a whole loaf in the car as we drove around comparing stories and rewriting our memories to fit each others'.
My youngest of brothers proves to be the butt of many jokes. While visiting Old Town Omaha, we came across a "pull my finger, finger." It was too great for my brother to pass up buying, he just wasn't sure who the lucky recipient should be. Remembering we had yet to buy Shane a birthday present, it was settled; He would get the honor of such a strange treat. And use it well, he did. While waiting in line at the airport for about the one hundredth time he whipped out the finger. When you pull it, it makes a super great farting noise, different almost everytime. The woman in front of us couldn't have musterd (SP?)a more rotten look if we had paid her millions. It was just too much. I was rolling. My oldest brother had to turn his back to everyone because he couldn't control his laughter, the middle brother had to hide behind my very tall father. It was just too much. But there stood the prankster. Straight faced and actually looking relieved to be rid of such gaseousness.
Speaking of fingers, at the funeral viewing, my oldest brother, George, would make a cracking sound whenever someone approached the casket, as if they were accidentally breaking off my grandfather's finger. I am still giggly thinking about it.
A constant source of laughter also came from one of my favorite past times. Saying "is that a euphemism" after anyone says anything. Seriously, try it. Like everything, it works best really late at night after delirium has set in.
"Are you hungry? Do you guys want to go grab some tacos?" Takes on a much different meaning when you know, "is that a euphemism?" is going to follow! This in a nut shell was my weekend. A seemingly sad event cheered up fantastically by my big brothers. :) I hope that never changes.

nice timing

So after we paid almost $1000 for a plane ticket so I can be an athletic supporter for my dad at my grandfather's funeral, some schmoes decide to attempt to sneak a liquid bomb onto an airplane (or something like this), just to make my travels extra dependent on God. Thanks for the faith exercise people.
And the rest of you, please pray for Sam I Am and I as we fly out this morning. And here is to Southwest and United and their ability to spot a terrorist. cheers

WHO PUT THE "P" IN POOL

YAH!! I think it is safe to say that it was HER. We got a pool for my kids a few weeks ago. Nothing too fancy. It is thirty inches deep, just deep enough to be relaxing for us and fun for the kids. I counted on these things; I didn't know how many other lessons we would learn. Elijah has learned that diving in, even from a standing position in the center of the pool will cause a head injury. Layla has learned that she isn't as scared of dead bugs as she is alive bugs. And Isabelle has learned that she is juuuust a little too tall for flips and tricks for this depth. And of course, we have discovered that when Addison pees it is usually followed by a scrunched face and a matter of fact "yuck." Anyone up for a swim?

worn right out

Okay so this was my first taste at true chaos. Wife, homeschooling, five kids, and new student. I am a proud attendee of the University of Pheonix (puh-hoe-nix for all you fed-ex commercial fans.) I just completed the rest of my homework assignments. yikes. My brain hurts. Anyone willing to donate some cells to keep me going? How about some arms?
Have you ever looked back at your life and thought "what in the world did I do with my time before...?" you fill in the blank. I used to think two kids and a part time job, full time husband kept me running. Now, I have actually added running and a Monday night pilates class to my schedule. I think I am losing it. But this one is all for me. "THIS ONE. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. THIS WAS MY WISH. MY DREAM. AND IT DIDN'T COME TRUE. SO, I AM TAKING IT BACK! I AM TAKING THEM ALL BACK!"
What am I, crazy?! yes. good night.

for the nerds in my life

okay this was sent to me by a friend. cracked my up. but will probably mean more to you nerderies out there. ::shout out to rick baldwin:: nerd it up and check out my link. apparently you can just clink on the title. fancy ooh...and make sure the kiddies are out of earshot.

shontell

This was posted on a friend's blog. feel free to steal it and make it your own. I would love to read what you have to say.
I AM: a woman, a child, a wife, a lover, a daughter, a mother, in love
I WANT: a big big big van-80r 10 passenger
I WILL: be on the wheel of fortune sometime in the next 12 months YAY!!
I HAVE: great hair.
I WISH: my son would take naps instead of power sleeping and then eating for 8 hours straight. I HATE: words like crusty, schmear, clump, and discharge
I MISS: my sister in law-auntie mel
I HEAR: only 70% in one ear and 30% in the other. so don't be mad if i ignore you :/
I WONDER: if i will have wings when i get to heaven. i would look good in wings
I AM NOT: an optimist
I ALWAYS: wash my hands after using the potty..and notice if you don't. ew
I SING: always, anything, everything to everyone.
I LAUGH: out loud. it isn't good to keep it in.
I CRY: at war movies and anytime the pastor cries, even if I don't know him. When boys cry it is serious.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: scrapbooks. a little piece of me to pass on to my kids and them to theirs.
I WRITE: daily, in my journal, on napkins, scratch paper..whatever. I am working on a book currently. wish me luck.
I REGRET: rushing through the kidless days with my husband.
I NEED: a nanny, or at least some good baby sitters.... anyone? anyone?
I SHOULD: be watching Addison. she is walking around here with a Sharpie
I MUST: have had too many beans earlier.. i am gaseous. ooh excuse me. and so is Sam I Am. ooh excuse you.
I DON'T: want to forget what my kids were like as children.

why i like mike #10

Because he took me out on a date....his idea, he picked the place, and he paid ;) and then said, "You know, I know it is going to be hard in the beginning, but can you just imagine how great it is going to be when our kids are all grown and they all come home for christmas?!"
I can. And it makes me love him just a little bit more for being able to as well.

Fancy

okay, so it took me a while, but I finally got a real friend to show me how to put pictures on my blog. So here you all go. mista Sam I Am. and now I must go shower*








*this post is dedicated to Denae for her genius blogging skills and to Adelle for babysitting so I can shower.

I hate it when I am lame

But i like it when God helps me to realize it oh so gently. I am in the beginnings of a Bible study called Becoming the Woman You Want to Be. Great stuff. it focuses on your body through healthy eating and exercise (which I am happily exempt from still he he), your spirit through Bible study and scripture memorization, and soul through daily actions to take toward becoming that person God has intended me to be. Today I read this-

"Discipline is the human effort to create the space in which God can be generous and give you what you need." Henri Nouwen

I love that quote.

Then I read-

"God will not love you any more if you assert your will, make the decisions, and put forth the effort to create a prayer oasis. God will not love you more if you wake up thirty minutes earlier each day to devote to prayer and reflection. These actions do not benefit God."

I know that I don't pray and live for God for his benefit. But, on too many days I have an attitude of "let me do you this favor and read my Bible this morning."

Lord, forgive me for being so full of myself. I haven't left you nearly enough room. I choose to remove me and fill up with you. Make me aware when I choose to do other things when I should be spending my mornings with you. You promise to lead me like your flock. Please help me to be a good follower, not just a dumb sheep. amen

Catastrophe

How can they just no longer make Peach flavored Jolly Ranchers. Is this even legal!!? I did a search on eBay for crying out loud, and only got one response. And it was for Peach scented Jolly Rancher oils. What? What is happening? I need peach Jolly Ranchers. They are just no where to be found. Catastrophe.

ten ways to get that baby out!

So the other night I was feeling overwhelmingly pregnant and frustrated that my little son has taken so long to get the heck out already and a friend came over to give me a massage and try to induce my labor. As we were heading into the room toward that fantastic table and loverly smelling oils my kids and nephews kept stopping me asking if she was going my water...or as Layla Grace put it "pop your tummy." i assured them no and i was just getting a massage. my nephew, Tristan, then said " it's okay if your water breaks. You can just put it in my fish tank." ew

ACK!

sooo i am picking up my mother in an hour from the airport. then i think i will have a baby. that is weird. i wrote it on my list of things to do today

edit UOP scholarship essay
email essay to Roni
dishes
shower/brush everything/eat
breathe (I like to include things like this on my listst in case i don't get to anything else; I can at least cross that off)
make bed and straighten room
make grocery list
drink water
drink water
drink water
midwife appt. 5pm
pick up mom 3:10pm
grocery store
make dinner (spaghetti, salad, french bread)
have baby
get some rest.

we will see. :)

taking votes

so noel votes for the 27th for baby day. i say the 28th. but it makes me a little nervous to be right cause it is a church day. and frankly my dreams of going in to labor at church have been waaay too many and none of them were good. i am always seeming to leave a puddle behind me. and pastor never breaks into "let the river flow" like i want him to. lol.
if you are going to choose a departure song, that seems as good as any. although... i suppose for some people "deep and wide" may be appropriate. but not for me.

thats strange

so my daughter came running into the house hollaring that my son was throwing up in the garage. my first thought "ugh..the flu." it wasnt until he started screaming "IT BURNS IT BURNS! IT IS BURNING MY THROAT" and i noticed that just washed fresh scent that i realized he had indeed swallowed some sort of household cleaner. :/ sigh ELI. when will he learn? please no one answer that. i am not prepared for "never."
so 911, fire department, paramedics, and the sherrif's dept (to make sure i wasnt trying to kill my son... @@) then the ER. great. we are home now. he is fine now. his punishment. apologizing to everyone in the family for scaring them and for disobeying mom and dad by being in the garage. and he had to start our nightly prayers by asking God to forgive him. sigh. i figure the burning vomit was enough punishment. maybe not. but surely the fact that he thought the doctors were going to cut him open and he was probably going to die at the hospital was punishment enough. i cant cause that sort of fear. poor baby.

and the count down is on

well, after a fantastic scare of baby samuel arriving last thursday night (almost three hours of contractions at 5 minutes apart) we are to the real countdown. two weeks
it was inevitable that i would experience some sort of labor scare though. with my mother and sister n law attending their annual women's retreat in temecula and my husband a good six hours away fishing in Ely..of course. why is this a rule?
if you dont want something to happen just yet, you plan something really great to do instead and then it happens. liiiike if you arent supposed to start your period for three weeks so you think it is safe to wear those white pants..well it isnt, cause viola, you will start. ask any girl.

hey stupid people..go away

obviously getting antsy and irritable. today God is working on my mercy and patience. why do these seem to go hand in hand. i want nothing to do with either of them unless they are being bestowed upon me when i am being someone else's dumb person. sigh. this is the noise i made most today, which is saying something considering i have to make a noise everytime i move or bend, or sit or stand, or wiggle or breathe. i allow people to affect my mood easily when i am pregnant. this is difficult to deal with or rather easy to blame on pregnancy. i have less tolerance for people. like the lady today that insisted on turning left when it was clearly marked as a no left turn area. causing me to miss my light, causing me to growl, causing my attitude to slide greatly down on the mercy scale. got the kids delivered and to my next destination and another friend misunderstood my meaning when i said i had another appt at 11 to mean i needed to leave at that time. sigh. twenty minutes late. which made me 20 minutes late getting back into town to pick up my kids. a trend was starting, not with being late, but with my sighing and irritability. the true greatness of all of this attitude is that i have been doing a study heavily focusing on how not to allow other people's actions/reactions to cause you to sin or become angry/irritable, etc. i am about three weeks into the study. maybe i need to start over. :/ The upside is that i have been praying for God to point out times when my thoughts are not what they should be (edifying, uplifting, etc.). my prayer specifically has been to stop the thoughts as soon as they creep in and replace them with prayer. back to the down swing...i had to do this about 200 times today. do you think that is a bad average? Lord, thank you for making your mercies new every morning. work on this black heart. and remind me not to growl. :/

nesting

tweet tweet. as i am prepering for our last three weeks of second grade and pre-k with my little children it occured to me why people call this stage and behavior in pregnancy "nesting." we are learning about birds for our last unit of study and when i got to the part about bird behavior in the spring i had to laugh. i FEEL like a bird. certainly i dont resemble one (although my husband is still concerned at the skinny "bird legs" that have developed on my lower half since becoming pregnant. i say enjoy it for the rest of these five weeks..i will be back to fat in no time flat.) i feel twittery. i can't walk through my house without mentally redecorating. i have picked out almost all the paint colors for a house i have no money to paint. we have rearranged more furniture and found more uses for old objects in the last two weeks than i think is legal. even parts of the garage have had a going over. it is making me happy. exhausted, but definitely feeling less like a snug bug in a rug. after watching a special on tlc about how that family who just had their 16th babe and getting a tour of their rental property...a three bedroom two bath home, i was feeling a little greedy about thinking so often about having a bigger house. i was challenged. i started with asking for forgiveness for my attitude (aka Lord, you are giving me all these kids, can you please give me someplace to fit them!) and started sketching my entire house. i am amazed really that we have so much crap. i prayed heavily for God to open my eyes and help me to let go of the hoarding i seem to love so much. yesterday i took a very jam packed car to the thrift store of things i hadnt looked at in months. things i was finally ready to let go of. you know, like that giant fluffy blue pillow that has sat in my garage for 6 months, and that wicker planter i bought because it was on clearance at target for 1.90 and i feel that anything that is 1.90 should be purchased...even though in the last three years that i have owned it, it has never contained a plant..or anything really. baby steps. they are baby steps, but the whole family seems to be responding well. peace. it is amazing how God can add peace by taking those baby steps.

why men hate chruch

On my way home last night from a great CALM Easter day i listened to a man on KLOVE radio who authored a book called "Why Men Hate Church." very interesting. He talked a bit about boys/men and when they tend to leave the church and how many women these days are going to church spouseless, with and without children. I am very interested to read this book as i feel, and now so does my husband after discussing it with him last night, that this man seemed pretty right on. he wasnt saying that men hate God or religion or any of that. just that they have a hard time finding a place to fit and be comfortable. that a lot of people (esp. wives) expect them to be comfortable with sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings, holding hands with the guy sitting next to them, and saying i love you in regular conversations to share how much they care all because they are now Christians. he pointed out that they are still men, and dont like swarms :) i have even heard it said that some men run with large sticks to avoid swarms lol. he also talked about how the church paints Jesus as someone that can be difficult for men to relate to. meek, merciful, mild, always in that flowy white gown and smiling that mona lisa smile. (i added some of these descriptions) but the point he was making was they dont talk as much about him being "the lion of Judah" and what that means. that he got angry...really angry, that he had more sides to him than just femanine qualities. I can see that men would have a hard time relating to the Jesus we usually talk about. he also pointed out that usually the women are the nurturers and the needs we usually have in churches (that are voiced) are nursery/childcare workers, worship,prayer groups, meals for needing families. and men arent always jumping up or able to help with these areas. that we need to voice the doing activities that need attention. like when pastor was out with a shovel and mysterious bag hanging out his car window last week. i assume he was filling a pot hole. something my husband does for a living and would have been more than eager to give in this area. (you did a loverly job buy the way pastor lol) or pulling weeds, or fixing those door handles in the women's bathroom that dont work. these are things.. a list my husband can look at and say, "yah i can fix that, i even have the tools we need right here in my McGyver sack." then after talking with The Man about this author and his book he noted that there are a lot of areas the people in our church could be drawing in people by giving. it is the same ultimate plan as small groups, but more tangible. like having a change your oil day. anyone who cant or knows someone who cant change their oil to bring their car by. "tell your friends, tell your neighbors. no charge, we took donations already. sure your neighbor can bring her car, you dont have to attend our church, you just have to need an oil change, or a refill on your wiper fluid, or something along those lines. then for a few bucks donated to the youth, you can drive your car right over there and the kids will wash your car." talk about the ultimate man day. i can picture moses in his bikini with his little poster board now! another point he made was for the wives/girlfriends in these men's lives. something i wish i would have learned a long time ago. we feel guilty a lot of times that our other halves aren't going to church and we allow it to affect our relationship with them and God. And as it turns out...it STILL isnt our job to get him to go to church.OR to make sure he is paying attention when pastor is saying something "he really needs to hear" isnt that funny. sigh. someday i will learn. :)

i am successful

you know what is great about kids? they will believe whatever you tell them. liiiike my son knows that if he says "you are beautiful" when asking for something, he has a much better chance of getting a yes. and addison actually thinks that picture of napoleon dynamite is my husband. "addie, who's this?" as i hold out the picture. "dadda" she replies with a big smile. my work here is done.

why i like mike #9

( so it's been a while since i have posted one of these, but really people i am growing a person! it takes time ya know!) He comes up with funny things to call my kids. Like yesterday when Layla was angry that i wouldnt let her change into a skirt (her third wardrobe change of the day) and she slammed the front door, stomped down the driveway, arms folded so tightly nuthin was getting between those guys, and head bent down in almost a charge position, dh called her Henry the Angry Dwarf. giggle. i dont know why i thought this was funny. But then i couldnt stop saying "she's an AAANGRY elf." lol thanks Buddy.

life can be frustrating #1

Something is preventing the refrigerator door from closing and you can't figure out what it is.

holy cow batman

holy cow. what a great day. my daughter was finally baptised. after many months of waiting, she is happy to say she actually went through with it!! last year she decided she really believes and wants to follow Jesus. In our very own kidland, she prayed with ms. stephanie and accepted christ as her savior and has been seriously gung ho ever since. she says she really feels God is talking to her about being a missionary, "so if you want me to try to eat those carrots i will, even if i dont know if i will like them. cause when you are a missionary you have to put on your missionary hat and be happy they gave you any food at all. cause that is all they have mom!" (these are the things kids learn when their uncle and grandmother are missionary superfreaks lol.) so we have gotten her involved in some missionary training workshops for kids and prayed a lot and included a lot of other country studies in our schooling. she also decided she needs to learn spanish "cause i just feel bad for that little boy across the street. i cant understand a thing he is saying." LOL crack me up! anyway, we agreed that it would help her have a head start with her missions. Her life is really such an example to me. Certainly not OF me. i learn from her easily as much as she learns from me. i am amazed with how much she shares with me, and it just makes me feel rotten that i did so little sharing with my mom :/ SOOOO last fall when she approached me about what baptising is i knew it was an answer to prayer and God was really working in her. I was determined not to be the one to talk to her about any of it just yet, cause i was worried she would just agree, without really being ready. God not only worked all of that out fantastically, but on our way out the door my husband said he decided to get baptised TOO!! YAY for God! She was beyond pleased with this news, even though earlier she said she would rather JUST have pastor louie and Mr. moses in the water with her. lol. I feel so blessed. I am so proud of both of them. like i was just given a move ahead three spaces card in my candy land game of life. :) so thank you all for your continuing prayers. What a great blessing. And really to prove that God REALLY wants to give us life to the fullest, on our way to the pool Isabelle asked if Pastor Louie was going to be wearing his bathing suit. i said he will probably be wearing swimming trunks or something. she said "oh uck! i dont want to see his boobies!" ROFL! sorry pastor! my cup runneth over!

reflecting

So ten years ago today was a Saturday. I woke up at 5:30, made some meatballs (about 300) and tried to force myself to eat some breakfast. Toast I think. More emotions were flowing through my mind that day than the puberty years. Exhausted, anxious, excited, scared, a little sad, joy, overwhelmed. It was all very sureal. I remember thinking I would never make it this far. A week before I was driving for my final fitting in the fast lane on the freeway. A car in the opposite direction came up onto the block wall divider and slid for about a hundred feet. His mirror, antenna, and a whole lot of his paint showered my car. I could see him. Looked right in his eyes. I prayed...more like, "Jesus, no." And at the last second before our windshields collided he flipped back down into his lane. I think my heart started beating. It must have, right? All girls have a breaking point before such a big event. Mine came the next morning. It was okay though. It was only the second time in two years I needed to cry, and he was there. Just there next to me. Reassuring me, not fixing me. It worked. We made it to Saturday, meatballs, decorating, hairdos and nail appointments. Juggling everything. I felt like a ring leader at a circus. A very chaotic circus. But then that part of the movie comes. You know when you see him and everything else becomes blury. The grip on my Father's arm was so tight. Almost like i wasn't ready to let go. There were so many faces, at least the pictures tell me there were. I could only see one. That one. The one that would be mine forever. My kisses. My winks. I think I was walking. These are the details you lose within the movie blur. I made it. WE made it. There was talk of rings. There was something about pancakes :) and then there was "You may kiss the bride." Perfect. I don't remember anything. Just that it was perfect....and finished. Thanks for the perfect day. Happy 10th anniversary honey :)

anyone wanna donate

anyone got any books they wanna donate to the shontell car fund? dh (dear hubby) and i have been selling used and new books on amazon. it is going nicely. sooo if you have a sudden urge to organize and think "self, we dont need all these stinkin books. we read them already." feel free to call. we will pick them up and take them off your hands :) then maybe someday when i get big (not physically) i can buy my family a big kid car that we all fit into. and i dont have to growl and watch my mouth while i am squeeeeezing my hands between booster seats to buckle my kids.

giggle

this made me crap right up lol
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into agas station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant,obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typicalNewfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto theground. "What are dose? Asks the attendant. "They're called tees"replies Tiger."Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the attendant."They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger."Fookin Jaysus", says the Newfoundlander, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

hmmm

hey how do i get all of my peeps linked like scoey over here. i dont have favorites with this new puter system. anyone feel like walkin me through it. hmm hmmm

uuum

these are not words- comfterble, cumpterble, and clustaphobic. this last one is a shout out to my mom who never reads my blog. lets pronounce the word together. comFORTable. just say the extra sound people. does it really take up a lot more of your time. you wouldnt say compert right? listen if i can learn that jagwire isnt a word and that the real pronunciation is jag WAR * thanks for the help there jesse :) you can do this little bit for me. and honestly if you are going to sign someone up for What not to Wear.....find an outfit that doesnt make you look like such a hypocrite. lol. killing me smalls.

meesta divinci

so i was on my way home from work, trying to stay awake without having to eat something for fear i will gain another 11 pounds this month :/ , flipping through the radio stations and i came across a call in show on the religion channel. i have to say religion channel cause they let a few shady characters speak on their station. like the other night this guy called in and said he was concerned how God was taking his mother's shoplifting habit. @@ this is me rolling my eyes because he went on to say she suffers from severe alsheimers. DUDE>>>GET A BRAIN. meanwhile i will work on scrounging together some comapassion..apparently i lost it again lol. anyway..this guy was one of the callers, not the speaker. but the speaker kept acting like the caller may want to pray a little more for his mom cause what if God really doesnt think this is acceptable and we may just not know until we get to heaven. seriously? you can sleep at night after saying that to this poor "scarecrow?" a very special song is coming to my mind. sing with me.... oooh i could tell you whyyyyy the ocean's near the shore. i could think of things i never thunk before. anyway on to my title. the same show was on tonight and while i am not turning there on purpose my seek button isnt picky. soo tonight someone had called in about the whole scandal on the divinci code book fiasco. and i was reminded of a conversation i had with my ever so geniousee sister. we agreed that people are retarded if they bank on any book that isnt the bible. and that it isnt totally fair that everyone is ganging up on the author. christians especially are tearing this man apart. me thinks that isnt going to win him over to christ if he isnt a christian. i would also like to point out that i really know very little about this book and dont know much depth into the scandal. just the gist. is this how you spell gist? anyhoo, my question...if you are still reading this very long blog is would it really have mattered if jesus WERE married. i mean take away the kids/love child beeswax. mostly this man on the radio just kept saying how anti christ taking a wife he was and that the author of this book is a "perverted mind" to even come up with something like this. then he went on to say it isnt important whether or not Jesus could or could not have sinned while he was on the earth. to which i started talking...loudly to the radio that of course he COULD have sinned while he was here. wasnt that the whole point. to give us an example. to show us that it is our choices that separate us from God, just like it was his choices that kept him close to God. he chose "not to move unless the father told him to go. "(italian shontell version....unabridged) again. not wanting to build a soap box or stick a microphone under your chin about this whole book scandal, just wondering if it would really be that big of a deal if jesus WAS married. cause hey....jesus needed lovin too.

i disagree with our pastor

doesnt that sound rotten lol. but really. during sundays chat from the pulpit he said our God isnt like the tooth fairy and pretty much for the rest of our chat i couldnt stop thinking of ways that God really IS like the tooth fairy. you have to go through a little pain, and some uncomfortable times, but then viola! God shows up with a quarter...or whatever answer you have been waiting for. and praying is like pulling teeth. you usually have to work at it a bit..stick with it and THEN when you least expect it...when you bite into that cornnut. oucho!! smack there is your answer. interesting.

hear ye hear ye

moses is officially the worst passer onner of great news. and mr pete. shame ..a plague on you and your household. phooey. I AM GOING TO BE ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!! i got a letter a couple weeks ago and called the church almost instantly!! i dont know yet when i will be filming. but please pray i win big ooh and that i i get to tape down in vegas. they said it would be there or in LA. equally as hot, but nowhere near my family to offer free room and board and babysitting. incidentally if we arent able to take any of our kids and any of you want to volunteer for that wonderful experience, i promise to throw in a shiny new quarter :) p.s. i rule. i mean God is so cool at prayer answering. p.s.s why cant i push return and go to the next line. sigh.

oh those magical little characters

ya know, when i think of pooh bear and piglet i get misty. i think of my kids as babies. i think of that song playing at my wedding and my brother pretty much losing it, cause all growing up i had called him kristopher robin. sweet memories. buuut i am forever tainted thanks to layla grace. yes, that sweet little three y-o. she is without a doubt on my top five list for the oddest people i know. our conversation at dinner the other night went something like this: Layla- i have to go poo.... and she trails off knowing i am going to yell at her for talking grossly at the table. i ask her to repeat herself but figure out a knew way to say it so she isnt being gross. she says "i have to go pooh bear. is that okay? " how do i work with that? to make it better the next day she decided it should be called pooh bear for #1 and piglet for #2. sigh.

yummy to my tummy

hey it's girl scout cookie time and my daughter happens to be a girl scout. anyone wanna support her to becoming a stronger, more in touch with nature, able to tie a knot when she is in a pickle future? puuhhhlease!!!! remember when we home school and dont have a car to be involved in ANY outside activities and! go to a smallish church. we have no friends. please help. we are already shipping most of our boxes out of state. how sad.

i'd like to throw a shout out to noel for buying some thin mints and let you know that you can have three cookies and still be within a healthy dessert range according to First Place. lol.

proverbs

whoever said no news is good news is stupid. :/
i havent gotten a wheel letter. i only have till wednesday. this makes me nervous. quick someone tell me one of those great stories where God waited till the very last second...oh wait i have one. abraham.
thats a good one. i bet isaac thought his dad was just whacky.

a prophetic word

sooo. church on sunday was great. worship was great...er what i heard of it after being 15 minutes late. but i have to be honest and say that, realizing this is never God's intention, i get nervous when someone stands to give a prophetic word. especially about specific individuals. somewhat cause people can be lunatics and just spout silliness not at all prophetic or from God. trusting our pastor's judgement it was easy to go along. but then the what if's creep in and suddenly by brain is flooded with the memories of all the rotten just plain awful things i have done or been a part of in my life. even the time when my parents were divorcing and i told my mom i wanted to live with my dad. i was rotten about it. just mean. she was trying to takie me out to dinner and i was just angry and, well, 14 and emotional so i refused to eat even though i was seriously starving. actually i could really go for that pizza NOW. ::snicker::
anyway. it is so bad in my mind that i was even waiting for a call from louie asking me to come back to church cause johanass (sp?) forgot someone. ack! i have issues. but really, was no one else a little nervous?
and on another note, isnt there supposed to be some verification when someone stands before a congregation and prophesies? just curious.

dont you love it?

i love when i aske my kids (layla usually) how something happened and they reply with the "it was on accident" line. today i wasnt falling for it because no matter how you slice it, there is NO way you can "accidentally" put a popcorn seed in the electric pencil sharpener. that is right up there with accidentally getting pregnant. yah...okay!
at least she isnt choving the popcorn seed in places it will eventually begin to smell :/ ew.

why i like mike #8

he won't go into bed at night without me. even if i have hours of work and he has to be up at 2am (which happens regularly. you should thank him for your snowless roads and debris-less under bridges) he will sleep on the couch until i am ready for bed. then neither of us are lonely. he is my lobster. (another friends ref.)

the studio is full of prizes just waiting to be won!

BY MEEEEE!!!
guess what i got in my email box yesterday....just guess...you'll never guess so let me tell you.
as it turns out the WHEEL OF FORTUNE has asked me to come back for a final audition. :)
soooo. set your prayer clocks for wednesday jan 18th at 2:30. that is my interview. i need my voice to be back so i can sing if they ask me if i have any special talents. i realize this is not american idol (sadly i am officially too old) but on stage in front of all those people that are just too excited to be there! they love singers. it worked for my sis in law who left that stage with 20 something g's.
yay for me yay for me. i have made my husband smile twice in one month. gitty smiling too. first the whole boy thing....then the wheel. and honestly american idol is starting its new season the night before my audition! could i *be any happier (say this in your best chinandler bong voice )

thank you Lord

"for God so loved the world that he didn't send a committee."

thanks for enduring me, Lord. sorry it will take longer than the Israelites. :/
all prayers welcome.


oh yah.... and we are having a..... BOY! :)

baby?

soooo we spent all day on the phone with insurance regarding vasectomies and ultrasounds. what did YOU do today?
we get to find out our baby gender on thursday....any wagers.
i say girl. dont tell the man i said that! :/

this just in!

as i am sitting here typing, i hear this strange conversation.

layla- eli can i smell your fingers
all eyes whip around to her.
dh- layla, why do you want to smell your brother's fingers?
layla- cause i wanna see if they smell, if he has been digging in his butt.
:0 WHAT!!
long pause
layla- they smelled last night.
eli-thats cause i was digging in my butt last night.

visual-during this entire conversation eli is happily shoving his fingers into layla's face.

you kiss your mother with that mouth

conversations with eli..with interjections of clarity by layla

riding along in our blue mobile-
eli-chloe brought a friend to church today and she was wearing a yellow shirt and i dont know who the hell she was, but she was in our clas...
me- >:0 what did you just say?
eli- i said chloe brought a friend to church and she was wearing a yellow....
me-no, i heard you, i just want you to tell me the words you said.
eli- (in a real slow you-are-a-little-dense-voice)* I SAAAAAID CHLOOOOOEEEE BROOOUUUGHT.....
me- ELI! you dont need to talk slowly to mommy, i want to know....
layla interrupts in a sudden and strange southernish accent- he said who in the hell. he said who in the hell. he didnt know who in the HELL...
me- AARRGH!!! STOP SAYING IT!! ::blink blink:: do you guys know the word hell is a bad word when you use it like that.
::silence::
i repeat.
kids-quiet and quickly- no.
me- okay well, you know now, so no more of that. let's listen to music and take a break from stories for a little while. (had to move mirrors so kids couldnt see me cracking up)

*i wonder where he picked up on this tone....hmm. dad's can be such a rotten influence aye? :)

it's beginning to look a lot like......

the holidays. :) aren't you all fuming that i said happy holidays rather than merry christmas. my sil ( sis-in-law) and i were discussing the funniness we feel toward the WAR ON CHRISTMAS! i feel like i need to growl out an attack noise everytime i say that.
and now all i am saying is WHO CARES?!! give peas a chance people.
on msnbc the other night three people (a priest, a christian advocate, and some other man - a little bit this sounds like the start of a great joke, aye?)
anyhoo. they were discussing the presidents cards he sent out this year and the fact that he chose happy holidays as his greeting rather than merry christmas.
advocate- (the shontell short and funnier translation SSFT) this is an outrage! he is a prodistant and people need to be hearing the words MERRY CHRISTMAS, not happy holidays. he is doing this for political gain. (side note-uum he is already in office...and cant be elected again. he could go all "bill clinton" and be, well.....bill clinton if he wanted) if i got a card from the president that said happy holidays, as a christian, i would be outraged!
priest- wow, if i got one i wouldnt open it and say "what the HECK! happy holidays?" i would say "HOLY COW I GOT A CARD FROM THE PRESIDENT!"

and in the wise words of my sil "i wouldn't even care if someone said happy hannukuh, i would just be happy that when they were talking to me, it was nice!"

"This place reminds me of Santa's workshop. Except here it smells like mushrooms and everyone wants to hurt me."-Buddy the Elf

wow

it tool me twenty minutes to open this stinkin page and now i dont really have anything to say. i am ready for a nap. mostly cause i stayed awake too late making my christmas list :) and because both babies (my inny and my outy) decided they were hungry at 5:30 this morning.

i miss being here though. much has happened since i have posted last. the worst is that marie knows more about what goes on in blog-land than i do. :/ how sad. i am so out of the loop of life. siiigh.
i have started my second trimester of baby hood and all is going well with a confirmed ONE baby in there, so all of your comments have permission to cease. :)
in addition, my fourth child has celebrated her 1st birthday (YAY ADDIE) :)
i have started a new job
in turn, the man has quit working at the Depot (and for your info, they dont offer an employee discount. isnt that strange. in the words of my sister "why would someone want to work there? to be close to tools?")
kay, gotta go, the man is on snow plow patrol and they could be calling for him. hopefully see you at church

::sniff::

my little boy is growing up.

conversation with Eli and my mother in law

eli: hmm. that's weird. (furrowed brow)
MIL: what's weird?
eli: my penis won't lay down.
MIL: uuh.well, just leave it alone. i am sure it will in a little while.

me: ROFL!!!!

funnier

If I could have dinner with one historical leader, it would have to be Gandhi, because I'd be all like, "Are you gonnaeat that?" and he'd be all like, "No." (Travis Ruetenik)

sweet

funny

Whenever someone dies and someone elsesays they're "in a better place now,"I wonder how bad their apartment couldpossibly have been that a hole in theground would be considered a step up. (Anthony Myers)

giggle

oh it has been so long

yaaaawn. mid-day slump. not!!! mid-day hump as some people keep insisting. silly boys.
i need a new computer. this one keeps telling me i am not old enough to check my blogs @@. and then sometimes it tells me i dont have qualifying credentials. excuse me!

anyhoo. some funniness from prayers last night.
layla-( after i asked them to pray for a peaceful nights sleep)
dear Lord. oooh Lord. just give us a piece of sleep, please. ooh Lord.

eli- dear Jesus, please help my dad be a good boy. sometimes he is rotten. ( giggle)

yikes

Late last night, when I stumbled home drunk,
pissed off and looking for a fight, my adorable
little 4-year-old Debbie Sue ran and hid
the kitchen knives all on her own.
Kids -- they grow up so fast, don't they?

(Chris MacEachen)

tis the season to be merry.

it's holiday times folks. time to bust out those favorite holiday movies. personally i like to get all caught up on my national lampoons around this time. "Is rusty still in the naaavy?"
that aunt bethany has still got it!
i am seeing decorations out in the local Wally World.(walmart) and even some tidbits of "getting ready" on the radio, Christmas contests and what not. ( have i ever mentioned my love for what not? any party that includes what not is goodtimes imo) anyhoo. and now i am receiving those weird random gadgets catologs in the mail. they sell hip and now things like "i'm with stupid" tee shirts and screen doors that require no assembly. but this year my catolog featured an extra special gift to give. i just really need to find that right special someone.
it is called 90 minute nude aerobics. ONLY $14.99!! what a steal. i felt strange seeing it next to the "in the cookie of life..friendship" pillow. and below the neon cross (dont you worry lou..thats got your name all over it!!)
but i feel torn between a few people that would really fit this gift. i mean of course i will use my husbands name when ordering! i have dignity! and i will give the present from the kids. but who...oh who..is worthy of such a gift.
i think the winner has to be my dad. aaaah. my dad. one year each of the kids (all married) in my family {that's me and my three brothers} got a mysterious phone call from dad saying he sent each couple a present and to please just be open to it. i told him not to worry and would, with out opening it, stamp return to sender immediately. he promised it would be okay. a week later we each got three unmarked vhs tapes. and strangely our spouses were the only ones who felt the need to look any further. and wouldnt you know? what a giver. Dad had given the gift of "how to sunthin sunthin videos" i cant tell what an experience it is to get instructive porn from your dad. precious. it is precious. but only because it has now opened an unclosable door for ANY PRESENT WE EVER WANTED TO GET HIM!! merry christmas dad.

i think i am gonna spew*

i think my favorite part of Mallrats has to be when Jason Lee as Brodie slaps his little dixie like cup onto the counter and tells the man to "feel'er up. no ice." this makes me laugh just to think about it. i mean, dont get me wrong, when what's his head with the picture calls shannon daugherty "Brenda" i laugh even when it is the 25th time i have watched that. i think i love this movie. which leads me to love "my name is Earl" i have it set to record regularly on my tivo.


*the writer recognizes the title has nothing to do with the content.

music

i love how God can minister through music. not just during church in worship, but real, out there music. i wish i had written this song. it sums up life for me right now. i am sure many of you, moms especially, can relate. like we are just on hold while we do this parenting thing God has called us to. Lord, let my desires be for you and my children so that i am not glancing around every corner up ahead wondering if something better is coming. thanks for the confidence in me to steer so many little ones in the right direction. sorry that i am going to screw up again. in fact i am due for a wrong choice in 3..2..1..just joking. i dont want my kids to be something i did and got over with. every minute, i want to fill them with you. this morning dh and i discussed him teaching fashion sense over self esteem to our three year old. thank you for making her feel beautiful in her three sizes too big shoes. teach her that you define her, not her clothes.amen.

SURRENDER- BarlowGirl
My hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years i've shaped each one
reflecting my heart showing who i am
now You're asking me to show
what i'm holding oh so tightly
can't open my hands can't let go
does it matter?
should i show You?
can't You let me go?

Surrender, Surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know by can't You see?
my dreams are me, my dreams are me.

You say You have a plan for me
and that You want the best for my life
told me the world had yet to see
what You can do with one
thats committed to your calling
i know of course what i should do
that i can't hold these dreams forever
if i give my life to You
will You take them away forever?
or can i dream again?

sometimes i get so caught up in why my plan isnt working that i dont realize what i can be doing here, now. i dont want this to be my focus. i get frustrated when people impose these thoughts on me. like, you need to get away from your kids for a while, or maybe if you get a part time job you would feel like you were contributing to the family or the earth or whatever. ooh or "do you work?" yah, actually i have a job you could never do. these are things i would never say...out loud. but now any of you who ask me these questions or say these things will know what i am thinking. :)

jokes already?

I just read where the Navy is sending one of its SEAL teams to New Orleans. Frankly, I don't think the citizens of that fair city are in the mood for entertainment right now.
(Tidewater Joe)


okay. there is funny and there is wrong. i havent actually decided where this fits. ::snicker::

conversations with eli (as over heard by mom)

this was a classic. just for memory sake my son is four. ripe.

eli: mommy, can i go play outside.
me: no, cause we need to clean up a bit first.
eli: (whine, stomp, complain all under his breath)

this is the part i eavesdrop

eli: why did you have to marry mommy ( in a low mumble)
dad: what?
eli: why did you have to marry mommy?
dad: why did i marry mommy? cause i love her.
eli: she makes me so mad! (arms folded in a harrumph)
dad: me too son. me too. (giggle)
LOL thanks for the support lol. s'okay though. mike made him clean up!

why i like mike #7

when we kiss, my nose fits perfectly into that little indentation so we don't have to turn our heads. we go together.
and for those of you with honkers instead of noses, you know this can really be an issue. especially if you go in for a fast one. for crying out loud! you could take an eye out! show a little courtesy.

funny

I've decided to dedicate my body to a medical school, and just before I die, I'm going to swallow a little plastic toy. That way, the medical student who cuts me open will get a nice surprise. I just hope the other medical students aren't sad because they didn't get a toy with their cadaver, too.
(Steve Young)

black magic woman...sorta

okay so i feel i have been perfectly honest with you all about my blackheartedness. i am mean. i am that old lady at the end of the block that everyone is scared of. okay not exactly cause she isnt usually hot, BUT i just feel like i have a hard time mothering other's kids. let me rephrase. i love them plenty, but when they are crying over really dumb stuff i just want them to get over it cause honestly what's crying gonna help? ZILCHO!
like this afternoon. i am babysitting three little kids for the month of september as they are a product of track schooling and need someone to make sure they dont burn down the house while their mother continues to provide the money to pay for said house. and on she goes. we finish school, the kids leap and bound to play in the front yard and notice their front door is actually wide open. doggy missing.
my first thought " aaw, suck!" followed by an eyeroll (hidden from the children of course)
so i investigate and find that, yes, tis true. the front door is wide open and the dog has gone to find that greener grass and probably (because he is now a free male)... a piece.
my second thought "how the heck did their door get open? they must have left it open this morning." and then i add lazily as i watch them in their living room from the front yard"or maybe some crazy person has been tapping their phones and found out that i was planning on watching the kids, learned their schedule, and has now snuck into their house, stole the dog and broke their blinds. maybe i should tell the kids to stay out...hmmm..." then out loud i yell "KIDS!!! what are you thinking. get out of that house. we dont know why that door was open!!!"
then i explain that i am currently in charge of 7 kids and cant take a drive through the neighborhood to look for their dog(YAH, THATS why i wont do it), but that their own mother will be home shortly and will, i am sure, will not rest until Lobo is safely at home.
i head inside to check my emails. and unlike our apparently unpopular pastor..i have a few emails waiting. then i notice the girls are crying.
my third thought " sigh." then a quote from the Great White Hype "laugh and the world laughs with you. cry and i will give you something to cry about you little bastard."
ROFL!! i catch myself from giggling out loud just in time to pass along a hug and explain to the kids where doggies go when they get run over. AHAHAAA!! just joking. but luckily mom pulls up and wisks them away and they are now off looking for doggie..ope, they are back with and empty truck bed. maybe it was a crazy person. hmm. interesting.
ope! off again. maybe the dog called and left them a message.
my kids thoughts on the whole thing are just cracking me up-

eli-maybe someone stole him
girls --wahh. dont say that eli, it makes me cry
eli-::shrug::well it is true. but maybe we can borrow a gun from matthew ( alittle boy down the street that supplies our boys with the toy guns) and kill whoever took your dog
me -HEEY! stop talking like that!
layla-i dont like this story very much.
me- neither do i. change the subject
eli-i am a good wrestler.


convo #2
izzy-maybe he ran away to their school. courtney said he is probably at her school, that is why they are in such a rush.
layla-or maybe he ran away to somewhere better, like McDonalds.
eli-HE CANT EVEN FIND MCDONALDS LAYLA!

oh yah

uuum i tag my friend no(dot dot)el, her ginormous man moses, and Laura? do you have a blog?
the rest of you..i am just scared i think, to know more about you.

tag? goodness. okay i'll play

i have apparently been tagged by a friend. this means i am to disclose 5 quirk seeming things or unkown things about my person or mind. havent i done this enough in my 51 previous blogs? anyhoo, then i tag someone else and they tag and they tag...get it?

quirk 1- i sang with jerry Lewis many times as a child. probably 5 or so. he was old and chubby. these are the things i remember about him.i also sang on a handful of commercials and have done some odd singing work for my dad on occassion. oh and i cant forget to mention Larry. i was a back up singer for a very skinny man named Larry, who for some reason thought my friend was a lesbo and he could never say his words unless he were about 2 inches from my face. spittle and all. sail out larry. sail out.( i would mention that i went on a shopping spree with mark mcgrath and sang Grease numbers and i took pictures of the lady standing behind him scratching her butt with a back massager, but i will save that for a whole nother time. AHAHAAA ::wink::)

quirk 2- i think my husband would look even hotter if he were parked outside my window on a john deer lawn mower, straw in the mouth, sporting a snug white tee shirt, boots, and a kenny chesney hat....holy cow i have to stop and finish this later! the children are in the room

quirk 3- i like my hair. i have always liked my curls. i could be like that lady from ferris beuller that just keeps pulling those pencils out of her hair.

quirk 4- i want to learn to play every string instrument out there. is anyone teaching guitar for a small group? i have my own guitar even. can't i come? violin, cello, whatever. i wanna learn.

quirk 5- you get dumber as i get closer to my...ahem "womenly time." but then i guess that is your quirk not mine.

conversations with Eli

over the short four years my son has existed, we have had many conversations that boggle my mind. i thought i would share them. they will forever be titled "conversations with Eli"

the scene-we are getting in the car after church on sunday.

me- get in and get buckled, son.
him-but mom, did you know you have hair in your nose?
me-yes.
him-we all do.
me-how do you know.
him-cause i pulled one out.

As Promised, The Grocery Store

::flasback segment::

Layla Grace-6 monthish
Eli-18months-ish
Isabelle-4 ish
me-the day I turned grey

It's a day like any other. We have errands to run. One including the grocery store.

We stroll into Albertson's, oh so unsuspecting. I have Eli and Layla squeeezed into the front seat normally meant for one. They are rigged, two legs in one hole and a baby blanket wedged to one side. Isabelle is walking.
I have my calculator, my list, and we are all set with goodies from the cold drink aisle. I do the usual patrolling.
"Don't take that off the shelf."
"Don't lick the cart."
Stuff like that.
About an hour or more into it we are in the home stretch with only about three aisles to go. I am at the butcher counter getting steaks for dinner. (ah the good wife) ::pat pat pat::

Suddenly, out of my apron wearing day dream, I notice a cold something or other ::drip drip drop::

What is that? ::drip::

I bend to see milk splattering under my cart.::drop::

Quite a bit of it.

"what? how did that happen?" ::drip drop::

"Elijah, what did you do?" And this is where, if he could speak, he would tell me he ate through the milk carton. Right through the plastic.
Good grief, what a mess.

I wiggle closer to the lobster tank where they provide you with free paper towels--for the dive I suppose. As it turns out they are equally handy for almost-two-year-olds.

So I get my steaks and turn around just in time to notice Layla has gnawed herself a little snack. This one is made of a different variety- same animal. Her preference is raw hamburger.

Through my disgust and her wailings of injustice, I manage to dig as much as possible out of her mouth, left wondering how much she actually ate. ew.

I notice a convenient trash receptacle nearby and deposit the remnants of her snack into the can. Just as I do my hand gets snagged on the lid. It is one of those big metal cans with the teeter tottery lids.

Life is now in slow motion. teeter, totter, teeeeetter, toooooottterrr.

The kids are crying, the butcher woman is agasp, chest heaving, and my eyes are wide as the trash can lid flies up, up, up into the air.

And me? I am spider man as I look around me, taking it all in.
Only then does the display catch my eye.

"Hello. I hadn't noticed you before."

I make a mental registry of everything as it all comes crashing to the ground. No, not paper towels, that would be too easy. I see can openers, corkscrews, wire baskets, salt and pepper shakers, thermomoters, anything metal a grocery store would carry.

Yes, it is all on this very special, metal itself, display. And it too is on the floor. All it's guts splayed for passersby.

(You know what always amazes me? how everything gets so quiet when a terrible loud noise happens.)

It feels like hours pass. Days maybe.

Isabelle is the first to speak-- and I quote "NO WAY THAT JUST HAPPENED!"
I am still too shocked to say anything. Silence.

The butcher lady comes close, places her hands on my shoulders, and says, "Just go, honey. I will take care of everything."
So I do.
I unload my children and we leave the grocery store. Grocery cart full and dripping. The Good Wife steaks warming. My reputation circling the drain.

And in my best Alex Trebek voice:
"Why dont the Brewer kids go to the grocery store?"

writer

when i grow up i want to be a writer. of anything. articles, novels, childrens lit, menus. whatever. i just want to write. and before you skoff at the whole menu thing i have, sadly to say, been in more than one restaurant with misspellings on the menu. that doesnt look tasty.
i am amazed with people and what they get famous for. some people who get to be published. i just dont get it. and then, let's take the music industry. due to a lack of AIR1 radio i am forced to listen to K-love, which is all right, usually. anyway, i was listening to a song on the radio and this woman was *"singing." only i couldnt make sense of her at all. she hit most of her notes, but kinda swooped up into them and made this noise at the end to give me the impression she was white, but was trying to add a little soul run at the end. as it turns out, that isnt really working for her. now i am fine with the fact that i will never be famous for my voice. broadway, as sad as this is for me to type, will never be in my future. BUT why does this woman get to be ON THE RADIO causing ear drums to shatter or even worse, causing those people out there that "sound just like the dixie chicks when i sing" to think they are actually getting better. cause heck, if they can sound like the lady on the radio!!!
wow. i dont want fame. okay, maybe that isnt completely accurate. i am very content and happy in the life i lead. i get stage fright something fierce and IF i were to get picked up as an author of anything i would have to share my salary with my editor as his/her work would be more than usual. this being said, i think i should get a chance. not like the peas. i mean at least as much as this crazy woman got.
to make things....worse isnt the word i am looking for, but my editor has the night off. worse, the guy i used to sing worship with is now making a worship CD without me. sigh. this makes me sad. i guess i will have to cling tight to the memories of singing with my dad for Jerry Lewis and those few jingles i did as a kid. my 15 minutes of fame came early. bummer.

*these are not Joey quotes..to those of you non-Friends fans, you will still not know what this means. sorry.

i broke my blog

only i didnt really do it. i just showed up to speak to the masses (both of you) and it was this way. any hacker is welcome to fix this problem as it is adding to the angst that is now my attitude. along with layla saying, rather, whining slowly "mooommmyyyyyy" outside the window because eli got to the scooter first. ope, now he is done, she is off and running. .....and now she is done. all that whining for six seconds of riding! what is she a bull rider! GOOD NIGHT NURSE!

my brain is getting mushy

i know all you women (even though there are only about two of you who are bloggers) can understand this after these past few weeks with the men gone. my husband has gone on a hunting trip to be an athletic supporter for his friend mr. shaun (as my kids refer) anyway, i am only a few hours into this single mother weekend and the clock has suddenly started ticking a whoooole lot slower. i picture myself in quick sand. not that my children are suffocating me, cause i really do love them so. but you come to get used to The Man coming in the door at his particular time and you really get used to how your kids suddenly transform from these little creatures into well behaved little kids. i am convinced they do this so The Man will never really understand where i come up with it all! so as 3:30 approaches and my kids start to get antsy i have to remind them that daddy wont be home until sunday and show them...again where that lies on the calendar. for now they are good. bike riding and waiting anxiously for the neighborhood kids to make it home from school. and still high from the new prizes they earned from their own school week due to good behavior. a frisbee, a toy microphone and a soccer ball whistle. i am hoping these trinkets hold them ...and me over until sunday night. meanwhile, i am feeling a little at a loss as i usually surprise myhoney with a homeproject of some sort. once i painted the cabinets (loverly thank you for asking) once i painted everything else, and once i made new doors for our laundry room. (my favorite project) this weekend's project you ask? to find someway to fit my family into our car to buy groceries as we are out of them almost completely and my car only seats four of the five remaining brewers. ::sigh:: this one is gonna be a tricker.

why pilates wont work for me (not for the weak hearted)

pilates (pih-lot-ees) will not work for me for the simple fact that as my husband sees me contort myself into these ahem..positions he insist the children watch a movie and we go "have a chat." then whammo i am pregnant again, and of course, if one is pregnant there is no need to pih-lot.
my question is how can i possibly make it through a day without "having a chat?" cause frankly if i dressed myself up in burlap and razor blades, i think he would just have to take the risk. silly boys

owed* to dylan

three days full of thank yous.
dylan, i would like to thank you for teaching me so many things in the three short days you have been here. these lessons learned are sure to stay with me forever. i am a changed person.
...knowing how to properly hold a guitar
...the new orthopedic teeth marks in my old navy flops
...that my mole on my neck doesnt wiggle
...that "my daddy is in germy"
...knowing that "my big aya has one of those"(referring to anything we talk about)
...that coloring can be scary
...that putting peanut butter on bread can be scary
...that taking your shoes off...can be scary
...that sitting down can be scary
...that holding hands while we pray can be scary
...that "my pants are wet" doesnt mean "i peed in them"
...that when you put a little green thing on the end of a pen it becomes a dancing man
...that repeating myself 70 times just might not be enough for some people
...that her name is aya GRACE!
..that my name is aya grace's mom
these things i owe to dylan. thanks man. we hate to see you go.

not so secret, aye vickie?

you know what i hate? those commercials. dont get me wrong, i love the self confidence they teach to my daughter. i mean it takes guts to get up in front of the world to strut your "you knows" in front of everyone and look like you are enjoying it. @@
can you just imagine the phone call home. "mom i finally landed a job!!"
"oh that is great honey, doing what?"
"uh. i am a model. a hand...model or something like that."
my husbands conversation with my son went something a little more like this-
eli-stops mid sentence to oogle at the girls on the screen.
dh (dear hubby)-hee hee. what are you looking at son?
eli -those dirls (girls)
dh-moving his head between my son and the tv
eli-moving his head closer to the tv to get a closer view..eyes wide
dh-what are those girls doing?
eli-dancin?
us-CRACKING UP!
me-turning the channel and reminding everyone how important it is to wear clothes in front of others, especially if you are going to be in a commercial. lol

not so secret, aye vickie?

why i like mike #6

he thinks i am funny. i just cant seem to get him to read my blog. i think he is scared. could he possibly like me more. maybe he is worried it will lead to more children. i can't help these things. i am already doing my part by looking for an extra big car. cripes!

hello germans

hows the beer? prayers are still heavy here. my kids and i have been learning a little about germany. it's the green country. that might be as deep as they are letting it sink in. but they usually thank God for you right after food. that is serious man. :) church wasnt the same without you. but it went on. dont let your heads get big. just joking.
no(dot dot) el was filled and awesome. she ended with something about "who's goin with me!" she was holding a gold fish and wouldnt stop saying that. that's where she lost me.
AHAHAHAHHAAA! you had me at krispi kreme. pastor. i aint goin no wheres.
miss you all.
and someone thank that lady who said God would wake us up in the middle of the night about the people we chose to pray for. moses, what the crap were you doing at three am this morning reno time!! will you get it together please i would like to sleep tonight!
alf heater sane. :)

to all the ones i have loved before

AKA YOU GERMANY PEOPLE

we, the brewers, will be praying much for you as you go. specifically that you-

do not get sick
get out of the way and let the Lord do his plan
not insist that the other people on your team do it your way
that you get lots of rest even if it is in only three hours of sleep
remember to pray for your pastor, whatever you are feeling, he is feeling it more
buy me a souvenier (okay i wont pray for this, but you know now that i want one!)
put on the full armor, it will never be needed more.
stand firm in truth
say "bah" to your comfort zone.
step out in faith, something new everyday
will see God meet you with more faith
learn to love, really, the way God intended
recognize the enemy's attacks for what they are immediately and turn your back on him.
learn mercy
edify your brothers and sisters
are not gassy, cause that is just gross
meet a very large woman named holga that takes you on a twenty mile hike just for the heck of it.
when bad things come your way you will recognize you are in God's will or the devil wouldnt be so interested
experience severe culture shock when you return and want to change your life forever.
You guys are awesome and dont have the slightest idea what God has in store for you. you said yes. you listened, asked, prayed and i am sure have seen God already moving. if not look closer.
God bless and God speed.
Lord protect our church family as they travel. Speak to every one of them and change their walk with you forever. bring them closer to you and each other. you have told us that one of us can send a legion fleeing, and so many have answered your call to go. help them to see more than just a legion flee Lord. Let there be peace and focus.help them to hear you so clearly. Protect their families while they are away. In Jesus name we pray-amen

WANTED

this is a very serious advertisement for a vehicle. we need one and i just know one of you out there has one or has seen one or will see one for our family. we have been praying specifically for a van or truck to seat 8. clearly we need one. then maybe i can fight with my husband on the way to church like everyone else for a change. DANG IT!! i mean Ball shack...wait, moses. what the crap was that saying. ball shack just sounds...different

why i like mike #5

while he listened to wynona judd sing, i can only imagine, he told my kids that "mommy, sing this song waay better than that lady." and though i wasnt there to hear him say that, they repeated it when i watched the same program later :)

...*mikey likes me. he really likes me

*my husband does not like to be called mike. **please make a note of it.
**thinks the phone recording lady is rude when she says this to me.

bull crackers

i think it is funny that my pastor mentioned "substitute" words for naughty words. he said they are really the same, which, i assume he was reffering to our heart and attitude when saying anything, especially dirty words.
some i have come up with just cause i can. i dont have the issue of potty mouthing, but i hope i dont cause any of you to stumble.
..holy buckets
..son of a nutcracker! (thanks buddy)
..bull crackers
..tom foolery...this is a favorite
..aah nutsa (my son's favorite)
..holy crap
..oh gladiolas (brent, i dont know how to spell this word..nor do i really want to)
..broccoli head cheese car drivers (what i yell when my kids are in the car to allow my road rage)
..rotten little hooker (my husbands favorite. though i am not sure what it means...well, maybe i do and i am in denial.) :/

why i like mike #4

every day when my husband comes home my kids meet him sometimes too excitedly in the garage. this day, Layla didnt quite make it out there so i was able to be in on the "yay daddy" and other welcomings. like when she, in mid "yay daddy" said, "why are you painted yellow?" she was truly interested. i chuckled not realizing she was serious. sure enough there was a snafoo with the paint sprayer at work. chuckle.
"Harry, what happened to your hair"
"Marv, why the *heck are you dressed like a chicken?"
*naughty language has been changed for the sake of my innocence..er what is left of it.

funk

this is the word i use when i am too, i dont know, funky to talk. i am in a funk tonight. i am quiet, grumpy a little, trying not to think of why things went the way they did. funk. it's how i can be annoyed but not lead to anger and sin. not stewing, it's different. if you cant understand by now, i cant help you. you arent "meant" to understand me.
there are some areas that we have been praying in and working on the obeying part of our lives with God. rather, he is working in us. being poor, it's not something you get used to you just lesson your expectations in life until lighting a candle at dinner time is a special dinner, even if it is over leftover spaghetti. it takes creativity to live this way and God has equipped me well. Thank you for that. when you are in a season you could really be done with and cant for the life of you figure out why you are still in it. lol certainly it's not YOU! right? lol it is usually me. and i dont get why i didnt get whatever it was i was supposed to get while i was in it. why is that?
anyway. we decided to be obedient and it seemed that God was answering prayers immediately. i mean let's face it, he answers prayers constantly, but these were specific prayers. very.
anyway. it worked out until about two hours before it really had the chance to work out. and then...it didnt work out. ::sigh::
It is easy to look at someone else's situation and say "well, if it didnt work out, i am sure it just wasn't meant to be." and to all of you i say go away. i am not in the mood just yet.
maybe tomorrow.
but not now. i am busy in my funk.