::sniff::

my little boy is growing up.

conversation with Eli and my mother in law

eli: hmm. that's weird. (furrowed brow)
MIL: what's weird?
eli: my penis won't lay down.
MIL: uuh.well, just leave it alone. i am sure it will in a little while.

me: ROFL!!!!

funnier

If I could have dinner with one historical leader, it would have to be Gandhi, because I'd be all like, "Are you gonnaeat that?" and he'd be all like, "No." (Travis Ruetenik)

sweet

funny

Whenever someone dies and someone elsesays they're "in a better place now,"I wonder how bad their apartment couldpossibly have been that a hole in theground would be considered a step up. (Anthony Myers)

giggle