This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Friday, July 29, 2005

bob the builder

my son is obsessed with building things. i am trying to be an athletic supporter but he insists on using my shoe rack from my closet and the tv dinner trays. these already have a purpose. i dont know why he feels the need to change them.
so i have decided to buy him a stash of scrap wood that he may hammer, nail and saw at his leisure. we have insurance now so what the heck? ya know?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

tick tock

my birthday is still a ways away (October 30th, mark your calendars) but it is an important one. not 30, certainly not 40 or 18. I am turning 29. I feel this is a big one because it is the last of the twenties, clearly. I like to reflect, but even more so I like to set goals. so here are my goals for the year of 29.
finish reading the rest of the new testament and breeze through the old (ha)
redistribute about ten pounds and acquire at least a smidge of muscle mass
be able to do twenty real sit ups
and ten boy pushups
floss regularly
floss my kids regularly
keep my car clean without having to get rid of my kids
read everything put out by Chuck Swindoll (chuck, can I call you chuck?)
sit and read, alone, with a pillow, and no children and not about children or marriages. about nonsense or my own interests, not shared with family members.
be published twice in a scrapbook magazine
read nightly for at least 1/2 hour with my family
read at least 40 books off my book list
return my library books on time
become a designer for at least one big name scrapbook company
scrap 400 pages (I am not joking)
set up weekly date nights with my husband, babysitter and everything.
compliment my husband no matter how awkward it seems in the beginning and no matter how much fun he makes of me when I do it.
be the initiator..of everything, fishing trips, kisses, etc., guy nights
learn to pray consistently and specifically
get back into rock climbing and rappelling and in turn grow a bicep or two
get my own rappelling shoes
celebrate my ten year anniversary with dh (dear hubby) happily
save enough money to really celebrate via a cruise to Italy or Alaska ( i havent decide where just yet)
be obedient in the areas God has called me to (being content in my role as a mom and wife, tithe AND offer, etc.)
get a new computer that lets me print-
can someone print this list out for me..clearly I have issues.

the pressure

i feel so much pressure BRENT, to post something everyday now. I DONT LIKE ALL THIS YELLING!!!
actually i rather enjoy yelling. it the Italian in me. so i dedicate this blog to my husband. why i like mike #3. he lets me yell and then yells back. it's good times around here.
stop by for a donut sometime. they are free if they havent already been eaten.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

the big offense

i feel i offend people regular and i like it usually. i mean, if i mean it. which, if you know me, heh heh. but i was never trying to offend anyone when i started inviting people to join my bible study for this fall. i mean i get it. if someone invites you to a weight loss focused Bible study you have to wonder what they saw in you to invite you aye? so this goes out to all the ladies.
all you ladies out there who need a little shout out cause i gave you a special little paper. i didnt mean anything by it other than we could all stand to live a little more Christ centered. honest abe i wasnt calling anyone fat.
somehow i dont know if i am making the situation better. so i will just stick to praying for God to speak to the right people to join us.

Shut up already!

Sometimes I get a little protective. Overly so. I was raised with a lot of testosterone so it seems to make sense. But I get ready for war when I feel like one of my kids needs protecting. For instance, this evening. We have many kids on our block and one of the girls decided to take two of the four of them to swim in her backyard. Thus leaving isabelle right in the middle of their playing time alone in our yard. They didn't invite her but each ran to their homes to ask if they could swim at the instigators house. To make matters worse, one of the mothers who was completely aware that her daughters were being selfish and rude made up an entire story to isabelle and my husband about how she "forgot" the girls already had a play date scheduled. What ever lady. Don't make me come over there.
so I get home and this has all happened and my daughter (much better looking than all those girls) is sad facing it on the porch and our hands are tied because of stupid parents. So we talked with Izzy about what it means to be a good friend and to remember this time so she will never be the one leaving people out and that some grown ups are dumb. Only we said it nicely.
then the stewing set in. As I am making meatballs and preparing dinner, scenarios are spinning through my head.
me to the moms- I think it is important for us to teach our girls how to be a good friend and this has happened a couple times. Do you mind talking to your girls about this.
the moms-well I Don't see anything wrong with it. They Don't always have to play together.
me to the moms-oh I am sorry I thought you were the grown up here. Is your mommy home.
so I prayed. Big step. I usually have about ten more scenarios before I turn to this method.
but feeling God wanting to teach me something, I stopped "talking" and started praying.
God, thank you for being bigger than this silly situation. Thank you for helping me to teach Isabelle the importance of being a good friend. Thank you for our prayers together tonight and forgive my creativity when it gets the best of me. Help me to be merciful to the dumb people. Just kidding. Thanks for being merciful to me. Help me to live it. amen

Thursday, July 21, 2005

time to tottle off

i am zauhsted. i am a professional burning, but not really burning, bush maker. g'night.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

the countdown

i am counting down the days and soon the hours until my brother and his wife visit. they are the abnormal sort of family you really want to come visit and never leave. if i could figure out a way to have Reno and them i would. maybe i could eat them.
along those notes there is a woman at our church in Vegas that said, upon meeting our baby, that she would love to "crack open her little peanut head and eat it." then i am pretty sure she licked her lips. have you met people like this? they seem to be making a complimentary statement but all you really want to do is grab your child and run away. quickly.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

what being a little sister means to me

i am the youngest of four children. five if you include my father and many times you need to. i am the only girl. this sets the stage I feel.
growing up i have been the one. you know what i mean?
the one who:
got beat up
blamed
had her hair flushed down the toilet
had the toy shark stuffed down her throat
had the brother who drove her hickey giving boyfriend home...alone.
had dates with her older brothers..not in a creepy way
got conned too many times to climb on the roof for the preverbial water balloon fight only to be stranded till her parents got home. just long enough to be in trouble for being on the roof.
had to lock herself in the bathroom so many times the door finally gave way and could eventually bend enough at the bottom to climb through while it remained locked because of all the ramming her brothers would do to the outside of it. mysterious.
had brothers teach her to pee standing up.
was told repeatedly that she was a robot and was going to turn off in three hours.
was told repeatedly that "you are in a coma. all of this is a dream. none of it is really happening. wake up Shontell, why wont you just wake up. we miss you!"

but now. i get to return the favors. like this weekend. my brother is coming in town and we are having a birthday party for our turtle. i love you too Kristopher. it feels good to give a little.

Turtle town

well its school days again. we are learning about turtles this week. we are co-oping with some other families. of whom are not really all normal. take for instance the one little boy who was wrestling and his mom yells "he is a little older than you boys. his privates really hurt when you kick them so be careful!" yikes.
oh and my turtle bit someone today. it was MR. Developed's little brother. go figure.

why i like mike #2

he says we can have another baby as long as it is boy....wait WHAT!!! did i just put this under a reason to like my husband. i think he is slipping me something. ACK!!! that didnt come out right.
MOM DONT READ THIS ONE!

Monday, July 18, 2005

why i like mike #1

self addressed labels make him very happy.

Just nonsense

Last night my dad and I were discussing great advertisements. It has been decided that the Burger King commercials with that giant king head guy are genius. You know it is burger king before the man even pulls back the covers LOL. This commercial still cracks me up. I want to read that advertiser man's blog. He is a genius in my book. In fact I only let geniuses IN to my book. Well, and maybe one or two others. Just not men with highway patrol mustaches. They disturb me.
..Meow, do you know why I pulled you over? meow .

Saturday, July 16, 2005

pets

my friend Lindsie Banning named her cat and passed on her last name. Boo Banning. is this normal.

..loves her friend Lindsie var-mooch (drunken for very much)

me thinks

i want a cool accent. i want to be able to say "Pesto Bismal" and Me thinks about what ever i want. ooh or domeenos. this is how my old youth pastor talks. he is from puerto rico. he was great. not like..you know our youth pastor now. AHAHAHAH just joking moses. Moses? can you hear me from down there? is it hot. ooh watch out for that pitch fork. they look pokey.
where is my friend and what have you done with her?


..giggling cause the spell check recommended "fishmeal" instead of "Bismal." interesting

queen of refuse...queen of muck

is there anything nastier than the bathroom trash? ew.

the wheel

sigh. still hasnt emailed or written. the other day eli said "mom, the mail man is at their house," as he pointed to the neighbors. "Are they getting a box?"
"i dunno."
"well i think the mail man is going to stop at our house today and give you a box that says WE WANT YOU ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!" he said very excitedly.
"really? you are too cute. will you still love me if i dont ever get on the show?" i ask.
"yah, but you are just so good at that show." he pauses. "too bad for them." and then he hugs me. :) who needs the wheel



ME!! CALL MEEEEEE!

Friday, July 15, 2005

ten years

as my ten year reunion steadily approaches, and i look into these aging eyes, i have to wonder like most, i am sure, where did the time go? what have i accomplished? feeling nastolgic i pull out my old year books. my husband and i graduated a year apart but from the same school so we have duplicates. well, his books are full of his memories. And mine are full of my memories. there are a lot of signatures. many i dont actually remember. bits and pieces maybe, but nothing significant. i remember the kid with the tongue piercing. so "against all the rules" then. now it is more commonplace. he never talked to me just stuck his tongue out every time he passed me in the hall. the year my parents separated and eventually divorced. i started out at school with my friends, left and then came back. a lot of people were glad to have me back at the end of that year. that feels good to read.
through pictures i remember being class president. pajama day, spirit week and volleyball. number #3. it was as close to 23 as they could give me. (MJ all the way)
because i wrote it down i remember i was going to be a teacher, a mom, a wife. i was going to go to college, write books for a little money on the side and maybe do community theatre. musicals. my favorite. maybe new york.
as i continue the plunge into those lost memories two papers wiggle their way out of the dusty pages. land in my lap. my wedding vows. we wrote our own. tears already. mine was a poem, cheesy and about my love. probably half plagorized. his was perfect. one sheet of notebook paper, front and back. yellowing already. it was about how excited i was that he made me pancakes and that he loves me for being weird, and being different than "the others."
i didnt accomplish everything on my list for life. but this one i got right. God gave me this one.
i love you honey.

what are you reading?

currently
Nehemiah, proverbs, a psalm a day, and hebrews
First Place
angela's Ashes
Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone
100 languages of children
the five love languages
ahab's wife.
i think that is it...
oh wait the kids and i are reading The Littles

Thursday, July 14, 2005

air conditioners

are a thing of inner beauty. ours broke yesterday so my outer beauty was...well, not up to snuff.
what does that mean exactly? no...i mean i am asking! what does "up to snuff" mean. although in the book i am reading the old Irish ladies shoved a bit of it up the boys' noses. ew.
...air conditioner is fixed. Praise the Lord

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

signing

i just love that sesame street has a sign of the day. i just learned the sign for exercise. now i can teach my kids to say "i dont like to exercise."or "if you dont stop being a psycho, I am going to make you exercise."or" it wasnt nice to tell that lady she needs to exercise." but i will have to wait until we are far away for that last one. what if she is fluent in the language and it just burns her all over again and then she eats me.
..going to hell with moses

another great difference. i love diversity

I have this crazy quirk where I leave an inch of coffee in my mug before I fill up a second cup so the second cup isn't too hot to drink right off the bat. I also have a guy chained up in my basement, but isn't that coffee thing quirky?
(Travis Ruetenik)

broken

i broke my blog. :/

computers

hurt me. i dont have this sort of brain. sigh

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

inspiring

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances—to choose one's own way. "
Victor Frankl

deep thoughts, with Addy Handy

she doesnt talk. not on purpose or with understanding anyway.
this is pretty much what we think is going on in there.
us:aw, you are so cute
addy: grrrr (stop saying that. i have four teeth)
us:say mommy, say mommy, say mommy
addy:grrrrrrrr (you keep saying that word. i dont think it means what you think it means.)

PS

hey Pastor,
i borrowed your stapler..and then jammed it. but dont worry!! i was raised on Macgyver. i was able to fix it with a pot of hot water, some newspaper and a shoe string. wait. that was something different. CRAP i knew i forgot something!!.

too much of a good thing

i think that too much creativity is painful. sometimes literally. my hand is bruised from whacking the stapler so many times this week. anyone else? lol. between church stuff and decorating my kids "classroom"/bedroom i am just about tapped out. so much so that i think something leaked out of my head when i tried to come up with a meal for dinner. i had to turn to a cook book. i am Italian! I DONT COOK BOOK!

yikes

120 miles!! in one day. you go lance armstrong. my crotch hurts just thinking about it. and i am a woman. i cant even make sense of it all. the logistics seem...askew. lol

Monday, July 11, 2005

bzzzzzy as a bee

what does that mean really? i mean i get it. they are busy, but why do they get the corner on that saying?frankly as a stay at home mom, when i am done laying around the house, eating bon bons and soakin up my soaps i am a very busy person. more hours in my day? i almost dont even want to think about what i would do, or i may become bitter and wonder why God made these short 24 hours in a day days. pure silliness if you ask me.
hmm lets see- more hours for my day would include
more hours for scrapping
more hours for coming up with my own line of scrap supplies and working on getting published
uh-more hours for sleep, but not just any sleep. the kind you get when you are worn out exhausted and nothing can stir you, not even pancakes.
more hours for reading every cross reference in my Bible for the chapter that day. seriously, have you people tried this. sheer craziness.
more hours for listening to books on tape.
more hours to snuggle with my kids.
more hours to "pray" with my husband. not your average prayers. more like the romeo and juliet kind. those two knew how to work it..well, sorta
more hours to think of what to do with my time. :)
more hours for doodling. i really like doodling.
more hours to sing in the shower.

difficulties

you know what isnt easy?jnnmjhjkbgghj./l;l..... typing with a 7month old on your lap

Monday, July 04, 2005

for rent

one cute but snooty 7 year old girl. when do they get that mouth? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! i dont talk like that. not since i was like..i dunno thirteen lol. ALL RIGHT!! i get it! sheesh! but knowing where it came from doesnt make it all better. how do i stop that?
i talked to her nicely about hurting her friends feelings and she is on her way to apologize and invite her back. HA!! i remember when my mom used to make me do stuff like that. how embarrasing. lol i am glad to be passing it on. noooow, what was that saying i hated? oh yah "cause i am the mom, that's why!"

just sit as still as you possibly can

my #2 brother is a pastor. one time he told me he can always tell the people who dont tithe because they start to wiggle when he starts talking about tithing. so sunday when my own pastor began talking about loving one another i had to keep chanting in my mind "just sit as still as you possibly can. possibly can. sit as still. as you possibly can." he he. ::shrug:: what do you do? God says he gives us different gifts, aye? my family is still trying to find the compassionate one out of our bunch. we may have to look into adopting.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

i have been replaced as the funny one

so, i am sitting on the couch. Layla (3yo) is running around the living room, mostly in circles.
me: did you get your helmet?
Layla: -making nonsense noises
me: Layla, did you get your helmet. (no answer, so repeat)
Layla: i can't find it KIP!

i look over at dh. did she just call me kip? as in the nerdy brother from napoleon? sigh.
maybe they have watched that movie a few too many times.

in the beginning

well, in the beginning I was just me. then in the middle it was me and mike. now ...and I am not calling this the end LOL, but we seem to be multiplying. four kids. I don't think God knows me as much as people say. some days I feel a little like miss hanigan. only we have a boy in the mix..oh and I don't think I have ever made booze in my bathtub OR kissed a radio. "little girls, little girls, everywhere I eat sleep and breeeeaathe them." sing this in a drunken slur. oh and I don't really drink much.
you know what I don't get? if you stick around you may see this is a recurring question. I don't get why preschoolers learn through repetition. I mean I get it. sponges right? but can't they learn SOME things the first time. like that yelling "HEEEY" isn't the best way to get a sibling to stop. this is the music in my house.
I have decided the people that say "aw. cherish these moments. they will fly by,"haven't spent enough time around little children lately. LOL I do love them..my kids not the people. I just like to love them from a distance sometimes. thank you Bette midler. you said it all so well