This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Mini Sermon- Jesus Shaves*

My mom is a pastor, so sometimes I find myself mimicking her. Other times, I find myself with my hand on my hip yelling at kids. Also a learned trait from that lady. Both are dangerous, and for neither am I qualified.

Anyway, I was reading my Bible, and I wrote a little something that seems worth sharing. Let's face it, I think everything I think is worth sharing. I try to filter for your benefit. Also, if I didn't filter, I would never get anything done around here.

I am reading through the psalms. Currently, I am on 96. The message in this passage nicely reflects what I feel God is asking of me and what the answers I feel I received during Sunday's teaching. Pastor talked about something, and I heard, "Be obedient in the little things." I wrote that down. Then this morning, I revisited questions I posed in my journal and realized this is indeed my answer. My questions have all been basically similar.

*How long can a human possibly wait for answers?

*When Joshua led his men into battle and asked God to make the sun stand still so they could win the fight as God said they would, they marched all night. What does walking all night look like for me right now?

*Can a person wait audaciously? hmmmm.

My answer- be obedient in the little things. Here is the list I want to press into:

faithful to tithe no matter how scary the job front begins to look.

pray, always

bible and study time, daily and with others

worship time, actual singing

serving, when and where are up to God. Then I just do it.

give glory to God and tell everyone I know everything God is doing in my life.

Then, today I read Psalm 96. Funny the way God works in encouragement and confirmation. Verse 7 begins:

Ascribe to the Lord, O families of nations (that means all of us. If you live in a nation, this is directed at you. The word "ascribe" is translated from the word "YAHAB" which means provide or give. So GIVE to the Lord. Do it. Give. Tithe, time, praise, GIVE. Ascribe. Yahab.)
Ascribe to the Lord glory and strength (Give the Lord the credit for the good in your life. Especially if you are going to blame him and yell at him when things don't go according to the plan your pea brain came up with. I am not judging. We all have pea brains.

Give glory, THEN give him the room to be powerful in your life. If you enter every prayer or time of worship defeated, your worship is going suck and not be so pleasing to God. Picture your kids on Christmas morning. Could you imagine how irritated you would be if you worked so hard to coordinate this amazing Christmas for your children, up all hours shopping and wrapping, fighting through holiday traffic to get them exactly what they will love, and come Christmas morning you are met with grouching, feet sluffing, and gripes that your presents weren't exactly what they had in mind EVEN before they know what you have to give!? There is a good chance I would be so mad I would punch a kitten, but not God. He is patient while we are sluffing our feet, whining so loudly about defeat and frustration that we miss EVERY other thing he is doing in our lives. Choose to no longer be this guy. Make a list, visit a country where they have NEVER had the things you are whining about losing or that you don't have; learn to see the blessings surrounding you RIGHT now. I guess this means snow tires and a TV should not be what's getting me down. bah. Lamentations 3:22 tells us we will struggle and be frustrated, but we will not be consumed. God's pretty good at keeping his promises.)
Ascribe to the Lord glory due his name: bring an offering and come into his courts (Glory due his name seems something I cannot possibly give to God. Anytime I feel remotely close, I become speechless, overwhelmed with God's grace, and I cry. So good luck with that one. Ascribe him glory AND bring him an offering. That isn't limited to money. This giving applies to your entire life. Even the life you like to keep separate from church. I hate to tell you that there really is no such thing, but THAT is a can o'worms I can't get into. How's your offering looking? What is your output? your fruit? your greatest treasure? There your heart's focus lies.)

Later in this psalm, it says the world is firmly established, it cannot be moved. In addition to thinking of the giant in Princess Bride, I am thinking this means God wins, so we can stop worrying.
*This picture is dedicated to Erin Harrison and her brother Brian, who is the second funniest person I know. My bother still holds that trophy. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Maybe You Didn't Know

*I do not love taking baths. I only take them when it kills me too much to put down the book I am reading. Then, I'll stay in there 'til I am pruny.

*When I was a kid, I wanted to have ten kids. Almost there. But, I only wanted boys. Girls were weird, and I had the coolest brothers ever.

*I do not wish on shooting stars. I just don't.

*I was seven when God impressed upon me to become a teacher.

*I wish I had more time to cook. I am pretty decent at it, and I completely enjoy blessing my family by filling them full of good food.

*Along those lines, I LOVE aprons. I especially love vintage looking ones.

*I do NOT think it is ever appropriate for men to wear sweats. They are terrible honestly for anyone, but when men wear them I gag.

*I love musicals. I want to see a real Broadway, in New York musical. I would fly there JUST to see one, but I figure why not throw in a romantic vacay with The Man while I am at it?

*I would have been good on Broadway. I mean, except for the fact that I have retched stage fright, can't remember lines, and cannot act remotely. If my life would take place in opposite land, I would have loved to be in musicals.

*I want to vacation in Alaska. They have a train there that takes you on a scenic tour for a couple'a days. They have sleeping compartments and food trains. I want to go ice climbing and hiking and take a boat out on the water and sleep in a super great cabin.

*I think photographs are the best decorations a home can have. They should be ever to show the stages and memories of family life.

*I know how to properly use a semi-colon; people who don't should learn or use a period.

*I think cruises are weird. I guess I would go on one with The Man, but I would prefer to skip the boat and fly right to the destination.

*I think vacations to third world countries is a bizarre concept. I don't want to rest up in a place where I can't drink the water. Or where you have to walk by a puddle of hepatitis water whenever you go out.

*I am a history nerd. Completely. It's why I prefer the Old Testament. I could read a history text book and call it entertaining.

Beauty. For Realz

Some people are attractive. Some people have a dynamic personality. Some people are pretty or handsome and simply pleasant to look at. Then there is Miss Layla Grace. She is beauty for realz. She is 8. Has feet nearly the same size as me. Has the height of many grown women. And she has the most attractive personality I have ever seen in a kid. She is the sort of kid who moves mountains with her faith. She is the sort of kid, who at four years of age, was found lying on the grocery store floor smooching a picture of Zac Efron. She is the sort of kid everyone wants to be friends with, even adults. I have to remind her that she is 8 because she regularly slips into circles of adult conversation. She wants to adopt every orphan, knit everyone she knows a scarf and hat, and go to Africa to help build an orphanage and play soccer with the children. She needs to snuggle with at least one person every day. When childless men, content to have zero responsibilities, are near her, they agree to have kids if they are identical to Layla Grace. She loves Jesus in an amazing way. She is beauty for realz.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Sun Stand Still

This book I am reading is called Sun Stand Still, and it is written by a pastor by the name of Steven Furtick. Furtick, that's fun to say. ALMOST as fun as Francisco.

Anyway, he is challenging the crap out of my life right now. He says we need to have audacious faith. I love that word because it is an excellent throw back to my childhood. Here are a couple quotes:

-If the size of your vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God.

-[Just like the Israelites] There is an exceedingly good land that you're meant to occupy.

- God isn't intimidated by long shot prayers.

I am halfway through this book. I started it yesterday morning, and I plan on finishing it by tomorrow, probably during my dentist appointment. Because of this book, and the words I feel God wants me to hear, I have made a few changes.

1. I have committed to run a 1/2 marathon with three of my closest friends in June, and I know without a doubt that God will give me what it takes to complete it.

2. No matter where I am, I will be content because there I have God. The end.

3. When it comes to provision, I have no fear. None. So you can (say it with me if you have heard this one before) suck it satan.

4. I am choosing to be content with wherever God has me- city, state, church, work- content.

5. Like Michael Scott declaring bankruptcy, I am going to shout it out and be bold in my prayers. I don't fully know what that looks like, but that's exactly what I intend to find out. I am going to do it, even if it means I pray to walk on water or ask the sun to stand still so I can rightfully claim the promises God has given me.

One of the chapter subtitles in this book is "The Audacity to Ask." That is what plan to have- the audacity to ask. I have only gain to look forward to because the Bible says so. Life to the fullest, standing on God's promises, plans to prosper me, Jesus loves me this I know: these are all reminders of my inheritance. I just have to stand up and take it.

word to your mother.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

And This Guy

I mean, we have already been over his hotness. I know what you are thinking. "What more is there to discuss?" Well, I will tell you. Here are a few things you don't know about this guy that make him more than lovable:

He gets incredibly excited about those free address labels that randomly come in the mail. INCREDIBLY.

He likes to eat a whole lotta junk food while he watches The Biggest Loser. Who doesn't.

He prays. I really like that about him. Especially when he begins his prayers with, "dear baby Jesus." sigh.

He is addicted to Craig's List. That man gets on Craig's List like that kid on Mall Rats gets on that escalator. I have recommended he join a support group.

He can paint a room without taping it off. It's like his hands are magic just like Heart said they are. Magic hands, Mamma. I keep telling him it would make an excellent side job.

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Ghost Ride the Whip (Family Talent Show 2010)

So, every year our family has a talent show as our after dinner Thanksgiving entertainment. Some people bowl, some people watch football, but we have a talent show. Everyone is required to participate. Here is Kristopher and Melissa's contribution. They felt their talent could best be described in a made for YouTube video.


And by "another" I mean, there are a lot of weird people in my family. When the photographer says pose Eli hears, "Pretend I am the paparazzi and you are an exotic bird. Ready GO!"