This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Friday, December 29, 2006

A Holy Home


I am reading a book called Finding Your Purpose as a Mom. I realize this won't apply to all you readers as many of you are male, and well,,, you just won't ever be a mommy. The author included a quote found in The Anglican Digest from a passage called The Landisfarne. I read it and reread it whenever I open the book.

We are not citizens of this world trying to make our way to heaven; we are citizens of heaven trying to make our way through this world; we live as those who are on a journey home; a home we know will have the lights on, and the door open, and our Father waiting for us when we arrive. That means in all adversity our worship of God is joyful, our life is hopeful, our future is secure. There is nothing we can lose on earth that can rob us of the treasures God has given us and will give us.

This makes me think of all the things I am supposed to be doing in this life. This book has challenged me to make the most of the very short time I have with my babies. It also makes me feel a renewed sense of peace over the babies I lost. Seeing my friend go through the same thing so recently always stirs some sad emotions. I day dream a little and I even wondered if those three little babies will be waiting for me when I get to heaven. Will they be handed to me in a little bundle as my first gift when I get to heaven. Will they greet me with Sam's perfectly goofy, full of happiness smile? I don't know, but I believe this passage is right. There really is nothing on earth that I can lose that will rob me of the treasures God has given me and will continue to give me.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Sorry no pics


But, we had a great Christmas. We were home, just the seven of us, snuggled in our living room. We played and opened presents. We laughed and took pictures. We made a list of all the movies we want to get with our winnings from the Wheel. We stayed in our jammies until late afternoon when the boys went hunting and the girls snestled in for a movie. The kids all helped in making dinner of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and green salad. oh yummo! Considering Isabelle woke me up at 4:20 in the morning to open presents, I was a little sleepy, so it was early to bed for everyone. Even Mike and I made it into bed by ten! Just amazing.
We all got fun stuff as well. The kids usually get one present from Santa and the rest from us a the families that love us so. Isabelle got a guitar, Elijah got a real bow and arrow (hence the hunting trip), Layla got a bike, Addison got her very first Cabbage Patch Kid, and Sam I am got a glow worm. I don't have nearly enough blog space for the list of everything else we got, but it was all great. So to all of you who blessed us this year, thank you. And to all of you who think YOU are present enough..you are right. :) GOd bless.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

No Pressure


My newest class is COMM110, also known as Public Speaking. My assignment this week is to analyze a public speaker and write about him or her. With permission from my professor, I chose our pastor. I am posting this so late on Sunday so Louie (not Louise) will feel no pressure. But, you better not screw up. HAHA!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

King Josiah


I have been reading through 2 Kings and I am regularly struck with questions. I really need to take a class on all of this, or, now that I am done focusing on the Wheel and have one whole week off from school(HA!) I will have a minute to read a book or two on the matter. Here are a few questions/observations that reacently popped into my mind.Again, sorry about the format, my blog won't allow me to use the return key @@. 1- It is interesting how many times the mothers are mentioned. I wonder if it is for historical reference or another reason. I can't help but think God allowed the mothers to be named so that we could be proud of the ones who raised their children according to His will and put a name to those who seriously screwed up. 2-Josiah became king when he was eight years old. That is Isabelle's age. Just amazing. From the beginning he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. He grew up to be a mighty king. God told him he was going to die and THEN he went out and obeyed God. He didn't spend his time depressed, closed up in his room, looking for a remedy. He spent (I am not sure how long) his time destroying anything that glorified someone or something other than God! 3- God showed him mercy in a strange way. God didn't deliver Josiah or his people from death or from the separation between the people and God. He just promised Josiah he wouldn't live to see what was coming to them. Sad. When I finished reading this, I felt overwhelmed. It was sad to see such a determined king die, only to be followed by his wayward son. Jehoahaz was 23 when he became king. He was imprisoned three months later, but he managed to squeeze in enough rottenness against God for the author of 2Kings to make a note of it. Regularly I pray for my children to follow after God. But, after reading passages like these I can't help but make a mental list of all the things I am forgetting. God's grace is a great gift, but I want my kids to grow up saying the greatest gift they got from me was teaching them about God. I am able to say that about my own mother, and though her shoes are really tiny (little girls size 4s) they are huge to fill.

Tonight is your night bro

Today is the day! The Man is going in today at 1pm for his snip snip-aroo (sing this last part to the tune of chim-chim-charoo). Please pray for accuracy and success. It is a strange feeling to be past so many little stages. Don't worry, I am realistic in the fact that there is still a great chance I will get pregnant again. My prayer has always been that Mike would have this surgery when he felt ready and God was finished adding to our troop. Being the consistent pessimist I am, I am looking forward to A) Mike backing out at the last minute, or B) getting pregnant in six months. What do ya do?! I also have names picked out, and frankly a small part of me is a little sad I may never get to use them. And even stranger still, it is the girl name I like the most. But, The Man has instructed me that you shouldn't continue to have children just because you found a cool name lol. In actuality, God gave us the name Samuel when we were pregnant with Layla Grace, so it makes sense that we should end with him. It makes even more sense that we shouldn't have been surprised to get pregnant with Addison OR him considering we knew we were going to have a Samuel. Denial is a really big river. Along with all of this, my husband is incredibly nervous and could really use the prayers for peace. His dad went in when he was 39 for a routine surgery. He had not been to the doctors in years (pretty much his whole adult life) and was very against having surgery. When he went in for his pre-surgery check up, they found a lump under his arm that proved to be end stage cancer. He died six months later. Mike was only 20 and we had only been married 3months. In fact we moved our wedding up a good three years so his dad could be there for the wedding. His dad's death was all very devastating for Mike. Especially considering neither of them knew God. So pray pray pray. There are a lot of emotions stirring around here.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Hot Lips


I couldnt resist having the chance to include The Man in my Wheel experience and calling him Hot Lips just seemed the perfect way. It is a name I have called him since high school, even before we were dating. Goodtimes. The conversation went something like "Yes, Pat, I have been married for almost 11 years to my husband, Mike, who I like to call Hot Lips Hoolahan, but you may call him Mike." Pat happily answered he would certainly do so and then said those hot lips must be working because you have how many kids? HEE HEE I was also going to try to squeeze in my sister's name during the last puzzle. If I knew there was no hope of solving I was going to shout excitedly "Melissa rocks the Casbah." Instead I realized I did know the puzzle and at the very last second called "standard poodle." Even better times as there was a $1700 prize that came along with that guy! Let me just say that there were only two letters called when I solved this puzzle. It read something like

_T_ _D_ _D _ _ _ D _ _

Monday, December 18, 2006

Christmas cards


Mail time around here is never nearly as exciting as it is for Steve Burns on Blue's Clues. Usually we get bad news by way of bills, but today I almost broke into the Mailtime dance when we got presents and cards from friends and family we don't get to see much. Email is great, but there is just something sweet about getting a card in the mail, with hand written names especially. Even better? when Grandma sends you a Christmas present you weren't expecting. We now have enough money to buy Mike's tires for his Jeep. This means we can sell my car and get a little closer to living debt free. With my sweet winnings from the Wheel, we should be debt free AND own a new family vehicle by June. It is nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is still reeeeeeeeaally tiny.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I won! I won!

YAY! The Wheel was fantastic and oh-so-kind. I was paired with two super competitors for my stint on Wheel of Fortune, Satara (who ended up being the big winner) and an incredibly tall man we deemed Big Ben. He stood at a smooth six feet eight inches. Yikes. Mike and I arrived late afternoon on Wednesday and spent the night being a married couple. For those of you who get to do this often, I envy you. For those of you who never take this time, please do so soon. My husband really is awesome..and hot, which is always helpful. We have not been on an airplane without children in nine years, so you can imagine our delight when we just got to sit and watch those people chasing their kids through the airport. It was a pleasant way to begin our trip. After taking the shuttle to our hotel, we focused our night on holding hands, stealing kisses and eating dinner at cozymel's..oh and reviewing the 5 pages of information our cabbie gave us concerning our certain damnation for the meat filled diet we consume and (this doesn't really apply) our overly effeminate/homosexual ways. The next morning was the Wheel. I woke up a million times in the night, which put a crimp in my plans to sleep like a nyquil commercial promises, and finally gave in at 4:11 in the AM. I was too giddy. I showered, read my Bible, and took my time getting dressed. It was still only 6 (the original setting on my alarm clock :/)I kissed the man goodbye and prayed extra that I wouldn't get raped on the way to the studio by a crazed cabbie. All was well. God loves me like that. I wasn't the first to arrive and I made friends with all the other drunk-on-happiness contestants. We were ushered in to a secured green room and entertained between briefings and practice rounds. I seriously felt like I was at Wheel bootcamp. Those people take their jobs reeeeaaly seriously! When it came time to tape my show, I was over the top with happiness. I won a toss up, called some really stupid letters, and still managed to leave winning a little over 8k and 1000 bucks in movies! HOW GREAT IS THAT!?! The two most memorable parts of my show were when I introduced my husband as Hot Lips Hoolahan, but gave Pat permission to just call him Mike, and teasing my competition who had just won a Mexican cruise...apparently to Mexico. The screen to the left of us displayed our winnings throughout the game. Because she won the cruise during a prize puzzle, her label read PP Mexican. You better believe I congratulated her on winning a PP Mexican about a hundred times in the following 15 minutes! Crack me right up. She ended up being the big winner, but I was incredibly grateful.. I was unable to solve the bonus puzzle and she was. She won 25,000 smackers in addition to her.... PP Mexican. The rest of our trip was equally as fantastic, sharing our time with my mom, sister, and close friend who all flew in to see me play. My husband bought me the greatest hat and we chatted it up over margaritas (virgin for me, the lightweight) and guacamole! Goodstuff. When we arrived home on Friday morning, our super great friends agreed to keep the kids a little longer so Hot Lips and I could go Christmas shopping. That was a perfect way to slide back into real life. I am so grateful for my time with The Man and God blessing us so incredibly through this show. I owe so many of you! Thanks ;)

Monday, December 11, 2006

Things to look forward to

It is December. If your life is anything like mine, I am sure you also have a million things on your list of things to do or upcoming events. Since moving to Reno, Mike and I have done a decent job of weeding out our "committments" to simply fall in line with what we feel God calling our family to. It is easy to say no to an invite when you recognize it isn't getting you closer to God's goal. Knowing our season will someday change, we feel right now that God is calling us to govern our children; we keep them close enough to guide them, but allow them enough room for God to move them and shape them. It is a tricky job for parents, this arms length love. But I am off track. Here is my list of things to look forward to in the month of December:

Flying on an airplane and experiencing the airport child-free with my husband.

A week night, kid free, no babysitter to pay, date with my husband.

Sleeping...all through the night for TWO nights in a row!Almost zero chance of getting pregnant on either of those two nights.

THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!

My Addison turns two. Just family, cake, and icecream.

Cooking dinners with the kids.

Baking with the kids.(The Man has already done some with them. He even shopped for the goods.)
Filling out Christmas cards and driving to Frenchmen's with the fam. Attempting to use the take a family pic using the timer on our camera. (serious entertainment)

Watching endless Christmas movies.

THE MAN'S VASECTOMY!

My friend's Kwanzaa party (or maybe it is chanukkah?)

Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning.

New Year's Eve.
Sorry about the format. For some reason my spacing feature doesn't work on this blog. Again, I seem to have broken it. sigh.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

SQUEEEAAALL!


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can't seem to stop saying that.The Wheel called yesterday. I am flying to LA on Wednesday to be there for my taping scheduled Thursday, December 14th. PRAY PRAY PRAY! God has already been blessing us so much. Mostly with happiness. You can imagine how smiley we all are around here :D Please keep us in your prayers for safe travel, kids find a good spot to hang while we are gone, and oh yah- that I win a mad amount of money so I can buy that van from my previos post. lol

Sunday, December 03, 2006

This is why we aren't at church....again!


Sigh. My brain hurts. My hair hurts. I am tired of waiting. This is what I would like to have for our family. I am frustrated that I can't even get my kids to church on Sundays if Mike has school that weekend. And he has another year to go. I am tired that our only working car won't start if it is too cold outside! I am going to go read my Bible now. Pray for our vehicle situation please.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The year of thirty..

So I haven't done much ( I have typed this post twice!) But, The Man and I were able to steal away for a birthday date. I got my nose pierced :)!! YAY! We started our date by driving in the same car. Those of you who have a vehicle large enough to seat your entire family should consider this a huge blessing. Someday, we may too. Anyway, we went to a cute little boutique called Fondue and The Man picked out a great little red rhinestone for me. I love it. He took pictures. We finished our date with dinner at In and Out and the new movie Deja Vu. I rather enjoyed it. And God loves me enough to make the chatty three year old seated directly behind my left ear fall fast asleep.


This is me getting prepped

I even got one of those cool little purple placement dots.

And this is the final me. I look a little like Addison who insists on laying her face on the camera while she says cheese. It's the best I can do for a self portrait.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Fire Man In the Making


Mike got a letter regarding the testing and interview he went through a few weeks ago. He ranked 67 out of 103. Not exactly what he was hoping for, but considering there were 97 people who failed before they even got to the interview portion of the test, he did very well. Please continue to pray for him and God's will for the fire dep. We know this is where God has called him, we are just waiting and taking baby steps where God continues to nudge. He is still enrolled at the fire academy at TMCC and doing really well. Thanks for the prayers. We are all so proud of him.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

hash browns everywhere, but not a drop to drink


My neighbor (13) stopped by the other day. She played with Addie and the other kids, then helped us get started on Christmas sewing projects, and ended her time her by throwing up on me, my carpet, my couch, REALLY ALL OVER MY COUCH,my wall, the sewing projects, my sewing machine...name it! And to top it off, her parents were at work with no intentions of coming home so I was left to clean up everything. YAY! The only thing that made it more especially super special was the fact that she apparently ate hash browns for breakfast... a lot of them. ew. Now, two days late, we are still smothering our couch in deodorizers trying to rid our cushions of her complimentary aroma. Nothing is working and my mom said I am not allowed to ask the family to pay to clean our couch.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

I love techonology (in my best singing voice)



Okay so I am trying this out. If it doesn't work, we will chock it up to the fact that I really do love you more than technology. (Ode to Napoleon)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

I can't resist


AND this is Eli dressed up like Sandra Dee. HE IS POSING!! He HAD to know I would use this someday?!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Halloween!

Pics of the fam.



Sam was wearing pumpkin jammies. He, clearly, was happy about the whole thing!

Elijah was Jeff Gordon.

Addison has to be the most serious Cheer Bear ever!


Isabelle and Layla were Rydell High cheerleaders.


I made their poodle skirts with big RH appliques on them.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Why I like Mike #11


Most of you know my hunny has been slaving away every other weekend at TMCC Fire Academy. Well, Friday he took the physical part of his four day interview that could possibly get him hired for several different agencies in the area. HE PASSED! He is still exhausted and sore, but he passed. He said it was so hard, but he kept going becuase he couldn't stand the idea of coming home and telling Eli he had failed. :) That is the greatest thing I have ever heard.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Oh YAH!!


Okay, third class down. I got another A. I was actually scared about this one. This was the first class where My team and I had to write a 15 page paper. Yikes. That still sounds like a lot. Off to do homework.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Daddy's gone a-huntin'

Mike took the kids out hiking. Well, he wanted to take them fishing, but none of them were in the mood so I suggested hiking. For a man who bleeds fish, that wasn't a good suggestion. oops. He is a good daddy though. He took them hiking after they fished for a bit. They each caught a "walter" (a big fish) and went looking for antlers. I am new to this whole outdoor life, but don't the deer need those antlers? Strange. Even stranger, my husband said he got a tag to hunt a swan and he wants to eat it for Thanksgiving dinner. :/

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

quote from this article. Milk Campaign Hits 200th Moustache


Milk is not a sexy drink. Despite its fun, Freudian calling-card (the milk moustache), moo juice simply doesn't have the social cachet of coffee or bottled water.
Maybe it's a matter of bad public relations. Maybe it's because milk strives for immortality by turning into cheese after a few months in the fridge. Or maybe it's simply because milk is a maternal lactating secretion, something that's hardly, um, titillating.

What's this picture saying?


So I ran across some really great pictures that I feel need commentaries. Feel free to add your own. This one says to me, "Liar. He is such a liar. The mammas can always tell. Silly boy."

Friday, October 20, 2006

is there a term for sermon lifting? well, i am doing it.


So my brother..you know the one our Pastor spooned with ( great story, really, but for another time) gave a speech at his church in Vegas. I think of it regularly, mostly because I felt God calling me to share it with our congregation and I ignored him... :/ I know, I am a slacker. Whatever. I have asked for forgiveness for being a loser and God was willing to let it go because he is cool like that. ANYHOO. Here is what he said:
Predetors hunt their pray in the same way the devil tries to pick us off: he looks for the loners, the rebels, Dotty. (okay I added that last part in myself). As a congregation we are a herd, gaggle, murder- you choose the animal grouping of your liking. When we are scattered or operating on our own, (ie not attending church, not tithing, not praying for our church and leaders, etc.) we are living like those animals hanging out down at the watering hole on our own. After his short analogy he had everyone look around and notice the loners in the back of the church and the wanderers. He pointed out the seats left open between families (gaps in the herd). Then he made everyone get up out of their seats and everyone had to fill in the center seats in the sanctuary. He even had them face outwardly a bit. "Mess with that," he said, mostly to the devil. It is much more powerful to witness a church of 1000 or so on Sunday morning cramming into a defensive circle in the middle of the sanctuary, but you get the idea. This is definitely where God is calling our church. We may not be up to a 1000 members, but the Bible is clear that numbers aren't necesary. If one of us can put a 1000 to flight. Then two of us can send a legion fleeing. Pray, even if you can't make it on Sunday night. Pray with your family before you tuck them in. Then choose to be part of the pack and pray for God's intercession. PS this is not an invitation for ANY of our worship teams to begin singing this song. PLEASE!!

Daddy's boy


If my husband weren't so great I would be frightened by how much my son wants to be like him. He copies everything. A week or so ago, Mike stubbed his toe on the baby's bouncy seat and thought he broke it. All is well, but the rest of the week Elijah limped and threatened the girls if they got near his "broken toe." Moms have it hard. We have a lot of molding, reaffirming, complimenting and more to do with our kiddos. But you daddies....you are the ones who make the biggest difference. Don't blow it. (That is the encouraging word of the day from shontell lol)

Saturday, October 14, 2006




This would have been me. Well, maybe my hair would be a little fro-ee-er, but I would have had no problem blending nicely with the 60s: flowers, bra burnings, Woodstock. And my husband, he would have been right next to me tunic wearing, cigarette smokin', fingers forever in the peace position. Only I would have been Joan Baez before she was Joan Baez. I heard a song on the radio today on my way home from my friend No(dot dot)el's house called "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker." I can't begin to say how many times I have literally said some of the very same phrases from this song.
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

I have always said I was born too late. Funny how God works, but dh and I have always said we should have been born twenty-ish years earlier. We would have made the best hippies ever!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

TWO IN A ROW


GIMME AN A!! i just finished class number two (Baby steps onto the bus. Baby steps onto the bus. "Bob, do you think you could hurry, we have a baby schedule to keep?" I know that Wing.) I just completed Humanities 100. A crazy class on the humanities ranging from prehistoric man through Islamic/ Christian eras.This picture is of the Dome of the Rock: thought ot be the site Abraham almost sacrificed Isaac. Sometime in the Middle Ages, Islam created this shrine. It really is an amazing piece of architecture. Very interesting stuff. I got an A and to celebrate, I am going to take a shower!

irritated

I am not overly sure why I am annoyed at life today. Anyone have that feeling ever? And to top it off, the only thing I can think of to do is schoolwork...which I am no longer doing on Sundays. When is Sunday over? Does the Sabbath end at sundown like the rest of those Jewish days? I am stressing about my work. Does that mean I shouold have raised my hand during question time at church today? ::sigh::

Thursday, September 28, 2006

::sniff, sniff::


My baby isn't my baby any more. How sad.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Udderly Useless (I know how to spell the real word!)

So, today I practiced obvserving the Sabbath. In keeping with the movement about church and the message I agree God is speaking to our church I spent the morning with my family at church and opted to give up a few tasks I feel don't line up with ceasing. And, now that my day is done, I feel useless. I don't feel like I accomplished near enough, which I suppose is the point and the message Pastor Lou was trying to convey this morning. We are NOT loved according to our production level. So, today I was just loved. I loved my kids, cleaned a little house, watched movies, read my book, loved my kids some more, shared funny stories about my kids to my hubby once he got home from school, ate some popcorn, made dinner, looked at pictures of Sam's birth I just received from my SIL (thank you auntie mel)and invited my friend to join me for pilates tomorrow night. Okay, so I take it back. I was productive. I love it when God starts talking to me about something, and then it shows up in a sermon. It reminds me I am in the church family I am supposed to be in. But I don't so much like it when I keep hearing the same sermon over and over from various pastors or in my Bible reading. That just makes it clear that I really am not being the listener I am supposed to be :/ Baby steps into the elevator.

touchy touchy

I think it is amazing that people are content to go through everyday life without acknowledging God in anyway and then become offended when a 5 year old points out his thoughts on their beliefs. The other day, my son was talking to another of his buddies (6yrs.) and says "Kayla's parents don't believe in God." This in itself isnt bad, but when Kayla is standing right behind them and tears home screaming and crying, you know there are going to be issues.(for the record, this all happened on The Man's shift) KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. Apparently Kayla's mom had been bullying my son into confessing and he was fine with sharing his opinion with her. NIICE. He plainly stated that she doesn't believe in God. Wow. That didn't sit so well with her. She was ooh so angry and let my husband have the ole cat-fight-caplooey. Now, for any of you who actually know my husband you are wondering if he punched her in the neck when she got in his face, but you can lay your fears to rest. He was holding Sam in one hand and a bottle in the other. Her neck is fine. And my son had to apologize for voicing his opinion and mostly for trying to hide the fact that an irrate woman was standing in our lawn waiting to speak to his father. All is good...ish. She threatened to "not be so nice next time." Mike said "hey, okay." in his most smart allec voice. I am so glad our family has been able to stir things up in the name of God. @@

Just a wreck


This picture captures the very essence of my mood. I like the kind of people that surprise me by actually doing what they are supposed to do when they say they are going to do it. I am all for leniency, I am no where near a first born...well, I sleep next to one and unless osmosis is real, I am unaffected by his anal stick to the rules mentality. I recognize life gets in the way more than we care to admit, but don't you think there should come a time when you realize you are dragging others down with you and you gracefully pull your self away rather than waiting to crawl out from under the pile of others once you have knocked them down? HONESTLY! Know your limits. AAAAnd on another note...My name is pot, and you weeere Kettle? sigh I have issues. I know. I just needed to vent that and I feel better now. Thanks for being a pal. You really are a super listener

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

that dirty little finger

So the other day during our Bible lesson, I mentioned something about substitute words for rotten things we want to say but don't want to get into trouble for. Specifically we were discussing taking God's name in vain.
Because I THOUGHT! all of my children had heard that flipping the bird was inappropriate behavior and didn't think I was introducing anything new, I used it as a comparison. My finger is just my finger because I don't have secret potty mouth issues and I am not just saying I am giving you the one way sign to Jesus while getting out earlier aggression. (Although one time I flipped my brother the ring finger as I drove next to him on the freeway...he choked on his water, which is precisely the reaction I was looking for.) ANYWAY! Substitute words....so later that day I hear the usual "OOOH YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" between the children. Apparently Layla Grace was giving Eli the ole read-between-the-lines sneaky finger. My discussion with her was brief and consisted of me saying sternly "Layla, God gave you those fingers for a reason, and it is your job to grow up and use them correctly."


With you, I have no idea what this means of course! If only you could have been in my mind. I was just cracking up at the whole idea of her flipping him off and feeling a lot of pressure to get the message across to all of the kids that this is not okay behavior! My sister said I should needlepoint it on a pillow. lol maybe. It WOULD take a really big pillow though.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Squeal Of FORTUNE


So you all know that I am waiting for The Wheel to call and give me my taping date right? I am getting so antsy. It wasn't bad when the reruns (what's a rerun?) were playing, but now that the new season has started I am as giddy as a school girl. ( I want to make love to a school boy! NO WAIT! I AM SO STUPID!) < that is a movie quote...they both are actually :)
After cleaning for a good seven hours today I thought I would reward myself with a little television. After all, I am supposed to be enjoying my Sabbath. And, because I am concerned with all things holy, it seems only natural to watch a weeks worth of Wheel of Fortune in one setting..at Tivo mode of course. :) what at treat!!

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Lost in translation


For those of you who aren't familiar with American Idol or Carrie Underwood, she was last years winner? I think last year, anyway, she has a song out on country music radio called "Jesus Take the Wheel." Isabelle loves it, loves her, and I love her loving her because Carrie Underwood is a good little Christian girl. The other night at the dinner table Isabelle would randomly break into song JEEEEEsus take the wheeeeeel. So a few minutes into our meal Layla joined in, but when you are four the translation gets a little muffled. Here is Layla's version according to what each of us heard.

Mommy- Layla did you just say Jesus take the beer?
Daddy- no I think she said Jesus take the bill.
Isabelle- Oh, I thought she said Jesus take the pill!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Oh my

This is not my story, or the story of anyone I know, but I am sitting here cracking up reading it, so I thought I must share.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a Pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this.
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000 volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. the effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the devise and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time: I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?!!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit i thought about zapping gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant: a two-second burst was suppose to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer that three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference: pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries thinking to myself, "no possible way!"
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I"ll do my best... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$!%!@*!!!
I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body clammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position , and a tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking, my face. undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again"
NOTE: if you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.
SON-OF-A-... that hurts like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantle of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching, My face felt like it has been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lips weighed 88 pounds. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Pray for your missionaries

Today during our school prayer time we took time to pray for all of the missionaries we know. We named everyone and the kids each picked one person and prayed for them specifically. Isabelle chose my eleven year old nephew who, frankly has been on more missions than most of us. Kyle prayed for his dad and Elijah prayed for his Uncle Kristopher. Layla prayed for our own Pastor Lou. This was no ordinary prayer, and Louie...you better get ready for God to move in some mysterious ways.
Layla's prayer (as best remembered by me)

Dear Jesus, Please protect all the dictionaries (missionaries) in the world. Please keep Pastor Louie the dictionary safe when he goes on airplanes and builds peoples walls and help all those dictionaries not to get tired and help Pastor Louie not to be tired. amen

Kyle's prayer was almost equally amusing as he added "Please help my dad not to spank me so much." LOL Do you people know how hard it is not to crack right up during these times. My insides hurt!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

lip smacking traditions




You all know we moved here for the rib cook off. Well, we didn't break tradition. We have quite a system. But, we forgot the floss.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

scholarships

I applied for a bazillion and three scholarships before I heard that I qualified for all the poor people grants. It's all good though, frankly if I still get any one of the 10grand ones I applied for, I am buying myself a vehicle to fit my family. Prayers are welcome. Anyway, I applied for one thorugh OP Loftbed; a company that supplies loft beds to many a college. When you signed in to apply you had to read the terms and agreements section. That is all normal, except that half way through it says they arent really wanting the answer to question number three and if you write anything other than "OP Loftbed" you will be automatically disqualified. How funny is that! It was a total trick that I would normally have fallen for, but I read it without realizing that I could click that little agree button to jump ahead. Anyway, here are my answers to their questions. I can't remember if I posted these already or not. Sorry if it's a repeat.

What would you do with your time if you knew you only had 24 hours to live?
I would start with double checking in my bible to make sure I know what to expect when I go. Then I would do what every adult has dreamed of. Run with scissors, make the same face for at least an hour, sit way too close to the nonsense television show I am watching. I couldn't resist covering the stove with paper plates regardless of the many lectures I received as a kid as to the workings of a stove and what a pilot is. And to make the day especially sweet I would call my dad to let him know what a rebel I have turned into.

Describe the best practical joke you have played on someone or that someone has played on you.

The best practical jokes are the ones that turn out to not be jokes at all. Like when my brother picked up that cricket and said, "hey, when I was in Thailand they said these were a real treat." Because I am a normal human, I assumed he was joking. In the sense they say chocolate covered ants and they turn out not to be ants at all, but peanuts. Then he ate it. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Someone in my family really does eat bugs. Suddenly, I was five years old on the playground being picked on by that fat bully red head. In case I wasn't sure he was serious, he did it again.

Describe how an OP Loftbed would improve your life.

For the past nine years I have been pregnant with one of my many children. Currently pregnant with my fifth child and seriously nesting I have decided it is necessary to install wood floors in my bedroom. And, if you put in wood floors it is only natural to take up tap dancing. And, if you are going to tap, well, isn't it obvious? If I had an OP Loftbed I could use every inch of my floor. I would never have to worry about stifling the tapper within. In short, an OP Loftbed would set me free. Is there a better way to improve your life? I think not.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

YAY!!

While I am a long way from finishing, I just wanted to say I got "A" in my first class. A 99%.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

I love presents


Especially when they help my entire day run so fantastically. I got this very special little gift from my friend, Stephanie, who obviously knows the importance of caffeine and its effects on a body. So, hey, thanks Friend.
I admit I was a little overly attached to my last coffee maker. I didn't realize it though until I actually almost teared up when it broke. It has been laid to rest, but I haven't had the heart to throw out the pods. Sigh. I think it is time. ::sniff:: beeeee strong.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Prayer

I was reading about Solomon tonight. Not so much Moses and Noe(dot dot)l's kid as the king from the biblio. (for all of you who don't know EL NINO is Spanish for THE NINO!!)
Anyhoo, I was reading and was struck by what a great example of prayer he gives us. When Solomon has his dream and God is telling him to ask for whatever Solomon wishes, he replies with "discernment." I love it. And God was faithful right away. When the two women come in with the fued over the baby. God gave him great wisdom. I want wisdom. I want to settle squabbles between my kids in a way they learn a profound message everytime. Not just so they will call me pretty, but that they will grow up and think of their mom when they are teaching their own kids.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

::singing:: my brothers and meeeee


You know that tune I am thinking of? The "My Buddy" song. Anyway, this is at my Grandpa's house the day after the funeral. My big brothers. Aren't they cute?

Sunday, August 13, 2006

OMAHA ROCKS

Hello, from Omaha. Scary I know, but we made it through, the funeral, the viewing, and the ultimate family feud without a scratch. Family is funny, even more so when someone close to them dies. I don't mean your usual fighting over things left behind, or funny as in "I don't know why she isn't crying." NO, NO. This kind of funny comes when you get together with family you grew up with and don't have the chance to see very often. This time around it is my brothers. Three of them. All older and equally as funny as each other. On more than one occasion this weekend, I woke up the baby I was wearing due to the convulsion I couldn't control in my shoulders. Seriously, do you know people like that? That just make you laugh so hard you almost wish it would stop? I do. Their names are George, Kristopher, and Shane.
We traveled the old neighborhood, checked out Mosquito hill, and stopped by Nani's (my incredibly short Italian grandmother) for pie and coffee. Everything made us nostalgic. Every corner stirred a reminiscing story. Orsi's bread shop was the first stop. We ate a whole loaf in the car as we drove around comparing stories and rewriting our memories to fit each others'.
My youngest of brothers proves to be the butt of many jokes. While visiting Old Town Omaha, we came across a "pull my finger, finger." It was too great for my brother to pass up buying, he just wasn't sure who the lucky recipient should be. Remembering we had yet to buy Shane a birthday present, it was settled; He would get the honor of such a strange treat. And use it well, he did. While waiting in line at the airport for about the one hundredth time he whipped out the finger. When you pull it, it makes a super great farting noise, different almost everytime. The woman in front of us couldn't have musterd (SP?)a more rotten look if we had paid her millions. It was just too much. I was rolling. My oldest brother had to turn his back to everyone because he couldn't control his laughter, the middle brother had to hide behind my very tall father. It was just too much. But there stood the prankster. Straight faced and actually looking relieved to be rid of such gaseousness.
Speaking of fingers, at the funeral viewing, my oldest brother, George, would make a cracking sound whenever someone approached the casket, as if they were accidentally breaking off my grandfather's finger. I am still giggly thinking about it.
A constant source of laughter also came from one of my favorite past times. Saying "is that a euphemism" after anyone says anything. Seriously, try it. Like everything, it works best really late at night after delirium has set in.
"Are you hungry? Do you guys want to go grab some tacos?" Takes on a much different meaning when you know, "is that a euphemism?" is going to follow! This in a nut shell was my weekend. A seemingly sad event cheered up fantastically by my big brothers. :) I hope that never changes.

Friday, August 11, 2006

nice timing

So after we paid almost $1000 for a plane ticket so I can be an athletic supporter for my dad at my grandfather's funeral, some schmoes decide to attempt to sneak a liquid bomb onto an airplane (or something like this), just to make my travels extra dependent on God. Thanks for the faith exercise people.
And the rest of you, please pray for Sam I Am and I as we fly out this morning. And here is to Southwest and United and their ability to spot a terrorist. cheers

Thursday, August 10, 2006

WHO PUT THE "P" IN POOL


YAH!! I think it is safe to say that it was HER. We got a pool for my kids a few weeks ago. Nothing too fancy. It is thirty inches deep, just deep enough to be relaxing for us and fun for the kids. I counted on these things; I didn't know how many other lessons we would learn. Elijah has learned that diving in, even from a standing position in the center of the pool will cause a head injury. Layla has learned that she isn't as scared of dead bugs as she is alive bugs. And Isabelle has learned that she is juuuust a little too tall for flips and tricks for this depth. And of course, we have discovered that when Addison pees it is usually followed by a scrunched face and a matter of fact "yuck." Anyone up for a swim?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

worn right out


Okay so this was my first taste at true chaos. Wife, homeschooling, five kids, and new student. I am a proud attendee of the University of Pheonix (puh-hoe-nix for all you fed-ex commercial fans.) I just completed the rest of my homework assignments. yikes. My brain hurts. Anyone willing to donate some cells to keep me going? How about some arms?
Have you ever looked back at your life and thought "what in the world did I do with my time before...?" you fill in the blank. I used to think two kids and a part time job, full time husband kept me running. Now, I have actually added running and a Monday night pilates class to my schedule. I think I am losing it. But this one is all for me. "THIS ONE. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. THIS WAS MY WISH. MY DREAM. AND IT DIDN'T COME TRUE. SO, I AM TAKING IT BACK! I AM TAKING THEM ALL BACK!"
What am I, crazy?! yes. good night.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

for the nerds in my life

okay this was sent to me by a friend. cracked my up. but will probably mean more to you nerderies out there. ::shout out to rick baldwin:: nerd it up and check out my link. apparently you can just clink on the title. fancy ooh...and make sure the kiddies are out of earshot.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

shontell

This was posted on a friend's blog. feel free to steal it and make it your own. I would love to read what you have to say.
I AM: a woman, a child, a wife, a lover, a daughter, a mother, in love
I WANT: a big big big van-80r 10 passenger
I WILL: be on the wheel of fortune sometime in the next 12 months YAY!!
I HAVE: great hair.
I WISH: my son would take naps instead of power sleeping and then eating for 8 hours straight. I HATE: words like crusty, schmear, clump, and discharge
I MISS: my sister in law-auntie mel
I HEAR: only 70% in one ear and 30% in the other. so don't be mad if i ignore you :/
I WONDER: if i will have wings when i get to heaven. i would look good in wings
I AM NOT: an optimist
I ALWAYS: wash my hands after using the potty..and notice if you don't. ew
I SING: always, anything, everything to everyone.
I LAUGH: out loud. it isn't good to keep it in.
I CRY: at war movies and anytime the pastor cries, even if I don't know him. When boys cry it is serious.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: scrapbooks. a little piece of me to pass on to my kids and them to theirs.
I WRITE: daily, in my journal, on napkins, scratch paper..whatever. I am working on a book currently. wish me luck.
I REGRET: rushing through the kidless days with my husband.
I NEED: a nanny, or at least some good baby sitters.... anyone? anyone?
I SHOULD: be watching Addison. she is walking around here with a Sharpie
I MUST: have had too many beans earlier.. i am gaseous. ooh excuse me. and so is Sam I Am. ooh excuse you.
I DON'T: want to forget what my kids were like as children.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

why i like mike #10







Because he took me out on a date....his idea, he picked the place, and he paid ;) and then said, "You know, I know it is going to be hard in the beginning, but can you just imagine how great it is going to be when our kids are all grown and they all come home for christmas?!"
I can. And it makes me love him just a little bit more for being able to as well.

Fancy


okay, so it took me a while, but I finally got a real friend to show me how to put pictures on my blog. So here you all go. mista Sam I Am. and now I must go shower*








*this post is dedicated to Denae for her genius blogging skills and to Adelle for babysitting so I can shower.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I hate it when I am lame

But i like it when God helps me to realize it oh so gently. I am in the beginnings of a Bible study called Becoming the Woman You Want to Be. Great stuff. it focuses on your body through healthy eating and exercise (which I am happily exempt from still he he), your spirit through Bible study and scripture memorization, and soul through daily actions to take toward becoming that person God has intended me to be. Today I read this-

"Discipline is the human effort to create the space in which God can be generous and give you what you need." Henri Nouwen

I love that quote.

Then I read-

"God will not love you any more if you assert your will, make the decisions, and put forth the effort to create a prayer oasis. God will not love you more if you wake up thirty minutes earlier each day to devote to prayer and reflection. These actions do not benefit God."

I know that I don't pray and live for God for his benefit. But, on too many days I have an attitude of "let me do you this favor and read my Bible this morning."

Lord, forgive me for being so full of myself. I haven't left you nearly enough room. I choose to remove me and fill up with you. Make me aware when I choose to do other things when I should be spending my mornings with you. You promise to lead me like your flock. Please help me to be a good follower, not just a dumb sheep. amen

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Catastrophe

How can they just no longer make Peach flavored Jolly Ranchers. Is this even legal!!? I did a search on eBay for crying out loud, and only got one response. And it was for Peach scented Jolly Rancher oils. What? What is happening? I need peach Jolly Ranchers. They are just no where to be found. Catastrophe.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

ten ways to get that baby out!

So the other night I was feeling overwhelmingly pregnant and frustrated that my little son has taken so long to get the heck out already and a friend came over to give me a massage and try to induce my labor. As we were heading into the room toward that fantastic table and loverly smelling oils my kids and nephews kept stopping me asking if she was going my water...or as Layla Grace put it "pop your tummy." i assured them no and i was just getting a massage. my nephew, Tristan, then said " it's okay if your water breaks. You can just put it in my fish tank." ew

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

ACK!

sooo i am picking up my mother in an hour from the airport. then i think i will have a baby. that is weird. i wrote it on my list of things to do today

edit UOP scholarship essay
email essay to Roni
dishes
shower/brush everything/eat
breathe (I like to include things like this on my listst in case i don't get to anything else; I can at least cross that off)
make bed and straighten room
make grocery list
drink water
drink water
drink water
midwife appt. 5pm
pick up mom 3:10pm
grocery store
make dinner (spaghetti, salad, french bread)
have baby
get some rest.

we will see. :)

Monday, May 15, 2006

taking votes

so noel votes for the 27th for baby day. i say the 28th. but it makes me a little nervous to be right cause it is a church day. and frankly my dreams of going in to labor at church have been waaay too many and none of them were good. i am always seeming to leave a puddle behind me. and pastor never breaks into "let the river flow" like i want him to. lol.
if you are going to choose a departure song, that seems as good as any. although... i suppose for some people "deep and wide" may be appropriate. but not for me.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

thats strange

so my daughter came running into the house hollaring that my son was throwing up in the garage. my first thought "ugh..the flu." it wasnt until he started screaming "IT BURNS IT BURNS! IT IS BURNING MY THROAT" and i noticed that just washed fresh scent that i realized he had indeed swallowed some sort of household cleaner. :/ sigh ELI. when will he learn? please no one answer that. i am not prepared for "never."
so 911, fire department, paramedics, and the sherrif's dept (to make sure i wasnt trying to kill my son... @@) then the ER. great. we are home now. he is fine now. his punishment. apologizing to everyone in the family for scaring them and for disobeying mom and dad by being in the garage. and he had to start our nightly prayers by asking God to forgive him. sigh. i figure the burning vomit was enough punishment. maybe not. but surely the fact that he thought the doctors were going to cut him open and he was probably going to die at the hospital was punishment enough. i cant cause that sort of fear. poor baby.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

and the count down is on

well, after a fantastic scare of baby samuel arriving last thursday night (almost three hours of contractions at 5 minutes apart) we are to the real countdown. two weeks
it was inevitable that i would experience some sort of labor scare though. with my mother and sister n law attending their annual women's retreat in temecula and my husband a good six hours away fishing in Ely..of course. why is this a rule?
if you dont want something to happen just yet, you plan something really great to do instead and then it happens. liiiike if you arent supposed to start your period for three weeks so you think it is safe to wear those white pants..well it isnt, cause viola, you will start. ask any girl.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

hey stupid people..go away

obviously getting antsy and irritable. today God is working on my mercy and patience. why do these seem to go hand in hand. i want nothing to do with either of them unless they are being bestowed upon me when i am being someone else's dumb person. sigh. this is the noise i made most today, which is saying something considering i have to make a noise everytime i move or bend, or sit or stand, or wiggle or breathe. i allow people to affect my mood easily when i am pregnant. this is difficult to deal with or rather easy to blame on pregnancy. i have less tolerance for people. like the lady today that insisted on turning left when it was clearly marked as a no left turn area. causing me to miss my light, causing me to growl, causing my attitude to slide greatly down on the mercy scale. got the kids delivered and to my next destination and another friend misunderstood my meaning when i said i had another appt at 11 to mean i needed to leave at that time. sigh. twenty minutes late. which made me 20 minutes late getting back into town to pick up my kids. a trend was starting, not with being late, but with my sighing and irritability. the true greatness of all of this attitude is that i have been doing a study heavily focusing on how not to allow other people's actions/reactions to cause you to sin or become angry/irritable, etc. i am about three weeks into the study. maybe i need to start over. :/ The upside is that i have been praying for God to point out times when my thoughts are not what they should be (edifying, uplifting, etc.). my prayer specifically has been to stop the thoughts as soon as they creep in and replace them with prayer. back to the down swing...i had to do this about 200 times today. do you think that is a bad average? Lord, thank you for making your mercies new every morning. work on this black heart. and remind me not to growl. :/

Friday, April 21, 2006

nesting

tweet tweet. as i am prepering for our last three weeks of second grade and pre-k with my little children it occured to me why people call this stage and behavior in pregnancy "nesting." we are learning about birds for our last unit of study and when i got to the part about bird behavior in the spring i had to laugh. i FEEL like a bird. certainly i dont resemble one (although my husband is still concerned at the skinny "bird legs" that have developed on my lower half since becoming pregnant. i say enjoy it for the rest of these five weeks..i will be back to fat in no time flat.) i feel twittery. i can't walk through my house without mentally redecorating. i have picked out almost all the paint colors for a house i have no money to paint. we have rearranged more furniture and found more uses for old objects in the last two weeks than i think is legal. even parts of the garage have had a going over. it is making me happy. exhausted, but definitely feeling less like a snug bug in a rug. after watching a special on tlc about how that family who just had their 16th babe and getting a tour of their rental property...a three bedroom two bath home, i was feeling a little greedy about thinking so often about having a bigger house. i was challenged. i started with asking for forgiveness for my attitude (aka Lord, you are giving me all these kids, can you please give me someplace to fit them!) and started sketching my entire house. i am amazed really that we have so much crap. i prayed heavily for God to open my eyes and help me to let go of the hoarding i seem to love so much. yesterday i took a very jam packed car to the thrift store of things i hadnt looked at in months. things i was finally ready to let go of. you know, like that giant fluffy blue pillow that has sat in my garage for 6 months, and that wicker planter i bought because it was on clearance at target for 1.90 and i feel that anything that is 1.90 should be purchased...even though in the last three years that i have owned it, it has never contained a plant..or anything really. baby steps. they are baby steps, but the whole family seems to be responding well. peace. it is amazing how God can add peace by taking those baby steps.

Monday, April 17, 2006

why men hate chruch

On my way home last night from a great CALM Easter day i listened to a man on KLOVE radio who authored a book called "Why Men Hate Church." very interesting. He talked a bit about boys/men and when they tend to leave the church and how many women these days are going to church spouseless, with and without children. I am very interested to read this book as i feel, and now so does my husband after discussing it with him last night, that this man seemed pretty right on. he wasnt saying that men hate God or religion or any of that. just that they have a hard time finding a place to fit and be comfortable. that a lot of people (esp. wives) expect them to be comfortable with sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings, holding hands with the guy sitting next to them, and saying i love you in regular conversations to share how much they care all because they are now Christians. he pointed out that they are still men, and dont like swarms :) i have even heard it said that some men run with large sticks to avoid swarms lol. he also talked about how the church paints Jesus as someone that can be difficult for men to relate to. meek, merciful, mild, always in that flowy white gown and smiling that mona lisa smile. (i added some of these descriptions) but the point he was making was they dont talk as much about him being "the lion of Judah" and what that means. that he got angry...really angry, that he had more sides to him than just femanine qualities. I can see that men would have a hard time relating to the Jesus we usually talk about. he also pointed out that usually the women are the nurturers and the needs we usually have in churches (that are voiced) are nursery/childcare workers, worship,prayer groups, meals for needing families. and men arent always jumping up or able to help with these areas. that we need to voice the doing activities that need attention. like when pastor was out with a shovel and mysterious bag hanging out his car window last week. i assume he was filling a pot hole. something my husband does for a living and would have been more than eager to give in this area. (you did a loverly job buy the way pastor lol) or pulling weeds, or fixing those door handles in the women's bathroom that dont work. these are things.. a list my husband can look at and say, "yah i can fix that, i even have the tools we need right here in my McGyver sack." then after talking with The Man about this author and his book he noted that there are a lot of areas the people in our church could be drawing in people by giving. it is the same ultimate plan as small groups, but more tangible. like having a change your oil day. anyone who cant or knows someone who cant change their oil to bring their car by. "tell your friends, tell your neighbors. no charge, we took donations already. sure your neighbor can bring her car, you dont have to attend our church, you just have to need an oil change, or a refill on your wiper fluid, or something along those lines. then for a few bucks donated to the youth, you can drive your car right over there and the kids will wash your car." talk about the ultimate man day. i can picture moses in his bikini with his little poster board now! another point he made was for the wives/girlfriends in these men's lives. something i wish i would have learned a long time ago. we feel guilty a lot of times that our other halves aren't going to church and we allow it to affect our relationship with them and God. And as it turns out...it STILL isnt our job to get him to go to church.OR to make sure he is paying attention when pastor is saying something "he really needs to hear" isnt that funny. sigh. someday i will learn. :)

Friday, April 14, 2006

i am successful

you know what is great about kids? they will believe whatever you tell them. liiiike my son knows that if he says "you are beautiful" when asking for something, he has a much better chance of getting a yes. and addison actually thinks that picture of napoleon dynamite is my husband. "addie, who's this?" as i hold out the picture. "dadda" she replies with a big smile. my work here is done.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

why i like mike #9

( so it's been a while since i have posted one of these, but really people i am growing a person! it takes time ya know!) He comes up with funny things to call my kids. Like yesterday when Layla was angry that i wouldnt let her change into a skirt (her third wardrobe change of the day) and she slammed the front door, stomped down the driveway, arms folded so tightly nuthin was getting between those guys, and head bent down in almost a charge position, dh called her Henry the Angry Dwarf. giggle. i dont know why i thought this was funny. But then i couldnt stop saying "she's an AAANGRY elf." lol thanks Buddy.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

life can be frustrating #1

Something is preventing the refrigerator door from closing and you can't figure out what it is.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

holy cow batman

holy cow. what a great day. my daughter was finally baptised. after many months of waiting, she is happy to say she actually went through with it!! last year she decided she really believes and wants to follow Jesus. In our very own kidland, she prayed with ms. stephanie and accepted christ as her savior and has been seriously gung ho ever since. she says she really feels God is talking to her about being a missionary, "so if you want me to try to eat those carrots i will, even if i dont know if i will like them. cause when you are a missionary you have to put on your missionary hat and be happy they gave you any food at all. cause that is all they have mom!" (these are the things kids learn when their uncle and grandmother are missionary superfreaks lol.) so we have gotten her involved in some missionary training workshops for kids and prayed a lot and included a lot of other country studies in our schooling. she also decided she needs to learn spanish "cause i just feel bad for that little boy across the street. i cant understand a thing he is saying." LOL crack me up! anyway, we agreed that it would help her have a head start with her missions. Her life is really such an example to me. Certainly not OF me. i learn from her easily as much as she learns from me. i am amazed with how much she shares with me, and it just makes me feel rotten that i did so little sharing with my mom :/ SOOOO last fall when she approached me about what baptising is i knew it was an answer to prayer and God was really working in her. I was determined not to be the one to talk to her about any of it just yet, cause i was worried she would just agree, without really being ready. God not only worked all of that out fantastically, but on our way out the door my husband said he decided to get baptised TOO!! YAY for God! She was beyond pleased with this news, even though earlier she said she would rather JUST have pastor louie and Mr. moses in the water with her. lol. I feel so blessed. I am so proud of both of them. like i was just given a move ahead three spaces card in my candy land game of life. :) so thank you all for your continuing prayers. What a great blessing. And really to prove that God REALLY wants to give us life to the fullest, on our way to the pool Isabelle asked if Pastor Louie was going to be wearing his bathing suit. i said he will probably be wearing swimming trunks or something. she said "oh uck! i dont want to see his boobies!" ROFL! sorry pastor! my cup runneth over!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

reflecting

So ten years ago today was a Saturday. I woke up at 5:30, made some meatballs (about 300) and tried to force myself to eat some breakfast. Toast I think. More emotions were flowing through my mind that day than the puberty years. Exhausted, anxious, excited, scared, a little sad, joy, overwhelmed. It was all very sureal. I remember thinking I would never make it this far. A week before I was driving for my final fitting in the fast lane on the freeway. A car in the opposite direction came up onto the block wall divider and slid for about a hundred feet. His mirror, antenna, and a whole lot of his paint showered my car. I could see him. Looked right in his eyes. I prayed...more like, "Jesus, no." And at the last second before our windshields collided he flipped back down into his lane. I think my heart started beating. It must have, right? All girls have a breaking point before such a big event. Mine came the next morning. It was okay though. It was only the second time in two years I needed to cry, and he was there. Just there next to me. Reassuring me, not fixing me. It worked. We made it to Saturday, meatballs, decorating, hairdos and nail appointments. Juggling everything. I felt like a ring leader at a circus. A very chaotic circus. But then that part of the movie comes. You know when you see him and everything else becomes blury. The grip on my Father's arm was so tight. Almost like i wasn't ready to let go. There were so many faces, at least the pictures tell me there were. I could only see one. That one. The one that would be mine forever. My kisses. My winks. I think I was walking. These are the details you lose within the movie blur. I made it. WE made it. There was talk of rings. There was something about pancakes :) and then there was "You may kiss the bride." Perfect. I don't remember anything. Just that it was perfect....and finished. Thanks for the perfect day. Happy 10th anniversary honey :)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

anyone wanna donate

anyone got any books they wanna donate to the shontell car fund? dh (dear hubby) and i have been selling used and new books on amazon. it is going nicely. sooo if you have a sudden urge to organize and think "self, we dont need all these stinkin books. we read them already." feel free to call. we will pick them up and take them off your hands :) then maybe someday when i get big (not physically) i can buy my family a big kid car that we all fit into. and i dont have to growl and watch my mouth while i am squeeeeezing my hands between booster seats to buckle my kids.

giggle

this made me crap right up lol
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into agas station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant,obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typicalNewfoundlander manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle.As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto theground. "What are dose? Asks the attendant. "They're called tees"replies Tiger."Well, what on god's earth are dey for?" inquires the attendant."They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger."Fookin Jaysus", says the Newfoundlander, "BMW tinks of everyting!"

hmmm

hey how do i get all of my peeps linked like scoey over here. i dont have favorites with this new puter system. anyone feel like walkin me through it. hmm hmmm

Saturday, March 11, 2006

uuum

these are not words- comfterble, cumpterble, and clustaphobic. this last one is a shout out to my mom who never reads my blog. lets pronounce the word together. comFORTable. just say the extra sound people. does it really take up a lot more of your time. you wouldnt say compert right? listen if i can learn that jagwire isnt a word and that the real pronunciation is jag WAR * thanks for the help there jesse :) you can do this little bit for me. and honestly if you are going to sign someone up for What not to Wear.....find an outfit that doesnt make you look like such a hypocrite. lol. killing me smalls.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

meesta divinci

so i was on my way home from work, trying to stay awake without having to eat something for fear i will gain another 11 pounds this month :/ , flipping through the radio stations and i came across a call in show on the religion channel. i have to say religion channel cause they let a few shady characters speak on their station. like the other night this guy called in and said he was concerned how God was taking his mother's shoplifting habit. @@ this is me rolling my eyes because he went on to say she suffers from severe alsheimers. DUDE>>>GET A BRAIN. meanwhile i will work on scrounging together some comapassion..apparently i lost it again lol. anyway..this guy was one of the callers, not the speaker. but the speaker kept acting like the caller may want to pray a little more for his mom cause what if God really doesnt think this is acceptable and we may just not know until we get to heaven. seriously? you can sleep at night after saying that to this poor "scarecrow?" a very special song is coming to my mind. sing with me.... oooh i could tell you whyyyyy the ocean's near the shore. i could think of things i never thunk before. anyway on to my title. the same show was on tonight and while i am not turning there on purpose my seek button isnt picky. soo tonight someone had called in about the whole scandal on the divinci code book fiasco. and i was reminded of a conversation i had with my ever so geniousee sister. we agreed that people are retarded if they bank on any book that isnt the bible. and that it isnt totally fair that everyone is ganging up on the author. christians especially are tearing this man apart. me thinks that isnt going to win him over to christ if he isnt a christian. i would also like to point out that i really know very little about this book and dont know much depth into the scandal. just the gist. is this how you spell gist? anyhoo, my question...if you are still reading this very long blog is would it really have mattered if jesus WERE married. i mean take away the kids/love child beeswax. mostly this man on the radio just kept saying how anti christ taking a wife he was and that the author of this book is a "perverted mind" to even come up with something like this. then he went on to say it isnt important whether or not Jesus could or could not have sinned while he was on the earth. to which i started talking...loudly to the radio that of course he COULD have sinned while he was here. wasnt that the whole point. to give us an example. to show us that it is our choices that separate us from God, just like it was his choices that kept him close to God. he chose "not to move unless the father told him to go. "(italian shontell version....unabridged) again. not wanting to build a soap box or stick a microphone under your chin about this whole book scandal, just wondering if it would really be that big of a deal if jesus WAS married. cause hey....jesus needed lovin too.

i disagree with our pastor

doesnt that sound rotten lol. but really. during sundays chat from the pulpit he said our God isnt like the tooth fairy and pretty much for the rest of our chat i couldnt stop thinking of ways that God really IS like the tooth fairy. you have to go through a little pain, and some uncomfortable times, but then viola! God shows up with a quarter...or whatever answer you have been waiting for. and praying is like pulling teeth. you usually have to work at it a bit..stick with it and THEN when you least expect it...when you bite into that cornnut. oucho!! smack there is your answer. interesting.

Monday, March 06, 2006

hear ye hear ye

moses is officially the worst passer onner of great news. and mr pete. shame ..a plague on you and your household. phooey. I AM GOING TO BE ON THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!! i got a letter a couple weeks ago and called the church almost instantly!! i dont know yet when i will be filming. but please pray i win big ooh and that i i get to tape down in vegas. they said it would be there or in LA. equally as hot, but nowhere near my family to offer free room and board and babysitting. incidentally if we arent able to take any of our kids and any of you want to volunteer for that wonderful experience, i promise to throw in a shiny new quarter :) p.s. i rule. i mean God is so cool at prayer answering. p.s.s why cant i push return and go to the next line. sigh.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

oh those magical little characters

ya know, when i think of pooh bear and piglet i get misty. i think of my kids as babies. i think of that song playing at my wedding and my brother pretty much losing it, cause all growing up i had called him kristopher robin. sweet memories. buuut i am forever tainted thanks to layla grace. yes, that sweet little three y-o. she is without a doubt on my top five list for the oddest people i know. our conversation at dinner the other night went something like this: Layla- i have to go poo.... and she trails off knowing i am going to yell at her for talking grossly at the table. i ask her to repeat herself but figure out a knew way to say it so she isnt being gross. she says "i have to go pooh bear. is that okay? " how do i work with that? to make it better the next day she decided it should be called pooh bear for #1 and piglet for #2. sigh.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

yummy to my tummy

hey it's girl scout cookie time and my daughter happens to be a girl scout. anyone wanna support her to becoming a stronger, more in touch with nature, able to tie a knot when she is in a pickle future? puuhhhlease!!!! remember when we home school and dont have a car to be involved in ANY outside activities and! go to a smallish church. we have no friends. please help. we are already shipping most of our boxes out of state. how sad.

i'd like to throw a shout out to noel for buying some thin mints and let you know that you can have three cookies and still be within a healthy dessert range according to First Place. lol.

Monday, January 30, 2006

proverbs

whoever said no news is good news is stupid. :/
i havent gotten a wheel letter. i only have till wednesday. this makes me nervous. quick someone tell me one of those great stories where God waited till the very last second...oh wait i have one. abraham.
thats a good one. i bet isaac thought his dad was just whacky.

Monday, January 16, 2006

a prophetic word

sooo. church on sunday was great. worship was great...er what i heard of it after being 15 minutes late. but i have to be honest and say that, realizing this is never God's intention, i get nervous when someone stands to give a prophetic word. especially about specific individuals. somewhat cause people can be lunatics and just spout silliness not at all prophetic or from God. trusting our pastor's judgement it was easy to go along. but then the what if's creep in and suddenly by brain is flooded with the memories of all the rotten just plain awful things i have done or been a part of in my life. even the time when my parents were divorcing and i told my mom i wanted to live with my dad. i was rotten about it. just mean. she was trying to takie me out to dinner and i was just angry and, well, 14 and emotional so i refused to eat even though i was seriously starving. actually i could really go for that pizza NOW. ::snicker::
anyway. it is so bad in my mind that i was even waiting for a call from louie asking me to come back to church cause johanass (sp?) forgot someone. ack! i have issues. but really, was no one else a little nervous?
and on another note, isnt there supposed to be some verification when someone stands before a congregation and prophesies? just curious.

Friday, January 13, 2006

dont you love it?

i love when i aske my kids (layla usually) how something happened and they reply with the "it was on accident" line. today i wasnt falling for it because no matter how you slice it, there is NO way you can "accidentally" put a popcorn seed in the electric pencil sharpener. that is right up there with accidentally getting pregnant. yah...okay!
at least she isnt choving the popcorn seed in places it will eventually begin to smell :/ ew.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

why i like mike #8

he won't go into bed at night without me. even if i have hours of work and he has to be up at 2am (which happens regularly. you should thank him for your snowless roads and debris-less under bridges) he will sleep on the couch until i am ready for bed. then neither of us are lonely. he is my lobster. (another friends ref.)

Thursday, January 05, 2006

the studio is full of prizes just waiting to be won!

BY MEEEEE!!!
guess what i got in my email box yesterday....just guess...you'll never guess so let me tell you.
as it turns out the WHEEL OF FORTUNE has asked me to come back for a final audition. :)
soooo. set your prayer clocks for wednesday jan 18th at 2:30. that is my interview. i need my voice to be back so i can sing if they ask me if i have any special talents. i realize this is not american idol (sadly i am officially too old) but on stage in front of all those people that are just too excited to be there! they love singers. it worked for my sis in law who left that stage with 20 something g's.
yay for me yay for me. i have made my husband smile twice in one month. gitty smiling too. first the whole boy thing....then the wheel. and honestly american idol is starting its new season the night before my audition! could i *be any happier (say this in your best chinandler bong voice )