Smell That?

That my friend is the winds of change. Thankfully, things around here aren't changing as much as they have over the past couple of years. Seriously, if I have to move again, I may combust. Why isn't combust a word? Weird. Anyway, you get my point. I want to settle. So many people are against settling, but honestly, sometimes it's the best thing a girl can do for her family.

Let's settle people. Let's be average. Let's not move every two years. Can we try that? We aren't military. We aren't missionaries. We aren't any M word that requires frequent moves. I just want to be. There's nothing that comes after that statement. I just want to be and that is all.

So, we are staying in our house for at least another year, unless God sends us some sort of miraculous home and the money with which to purchase it.

No, the change I am talking about is much less stressful. First, my mid-kid cut all her hairs off. For reals. All of it. She wants to be the girl from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You remember? The girl Mr. Rooney mistakes for Ferris at the pizza parlor. He says something crude behind her back like, "the gig is up. Your a&& is mine." To which she calmly replies by spitting a straw full of pop into his face. CLASSIC. Anyway, that's who she used as her point of reference.

I don't make the rules.

Also, on the list of change is Izzy's school. She has been a proud student of Excel Christian School for the last semester of school. She has loved it and done so well. But when the opportunity to attend the IB program at Wooster High School, she couldn't pass it up. Perhaps she is looking for more art in her high school experiences

Maybe she wants more opportunities for performing arts

and maybe she is just needing a few tips on how to get through her high school years

I can't say for certain. But really, I think she wants to be part of something that scares her a little while asking her to become a better version of herself. Last year, she called herself shy. Lies. This year she knows she is brave and funny and cool. My only real prayer is that she stays true to her faith and grows closer to God. And doesn't find any interesting boys.

Dearest Husband, You are a Great Father

Men believe lies as often as women. Did you know that? For some reason I am always thrown when my husband, or any man, talk about a fear or insecurity. Among a man’s topmost insecurities is his belief that he is not a good enough father. I hate hearing this. I have heard men say it. I have heard my own husband say it. 

Sometimes we are able to look at a lie from the enemy and know right away how fake it is. There is no purchase to the words because they are simply absurd, and we know it. Other times, the enemy picks the most subtle things and attaches them to the end of a pin. It’s small at first, so we don’t totally notice, but after a while, the pin pricks turn into a deep, festering wound leaving us too injured to think clearly. I believe most insecurities follow this pattern, and the only way to see through the lies, get past the nonsense, and gain perspective is to face them head on. Sometimes it takes an outsider. 

So here you go men. Here is what we love about you as a father. Here is why you are a good father. Here is why we are proud to have our boys (and girls) follow in your footsteps:

• You make pancakes, just because.
• You snuggle your teenagers, even when they pretend it’s weird.
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• You are willing to do housework and be a taxicab "dad" (says your daughter)
• You notice your daughter and tell her she is pretty.
• You pray for our family.
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• You have never shied away from changing a diaper. Well, maybe once.
• You teach your boy to do proper pushups.
• You take the time to tell them invaluable knowledge such as “righty tighty, lefty loosy.”
• You are terrified of your girls dating.
• You help me calm down when I am terrified of your girls dating.
• You are willing to take every girl in the Troop 127 out on the lake, no matter how full the boat feels.
• You will work outside in the freezing cold putting up Christmas lights, taking down Christmas lights, pulling weeds, digging holes, changing the oil, and fixing whatever we break.
• You are always willing to play air guitar and sing a, 80’s big hair rock band lick.
• You teach your kids to vacuum so the lines look nice.
• Your pride shows when you introduce your children…and your wife.
• You have nicknames for each of your kids that no one else gets to use.
• You take one of them with you when you run an errand.
• You insist they call you daddy, no matter how old they get, and you ignore them as if they never spoke if they try to call you anything else.
• You say, “Go for it,” even when some of their ideas seem out there.
• You know everything about everything, and you pass it on.
• You point out the mechanics of things to your boys, and ask them questions so they have to figure out their own answers.   
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• You will work three jobs, so I can stay home with our babies. 
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• You notice wild animals, even the really camouflaged ones, teaching them to take a minute and enjoy the world around them.
• You take your girls on dates.
• You whisper advice to your boys when they take me on dates.
• You teach them to leave a place cleaner than they left it, especially in nature.
• You hold the door for us, always, without fail, and tell your boys to do the same.
• You are here when you could have left.
• You say, “I love you,” and you mean it. 

Feel free to add to this list.  Please do.

Reviews A'la Me

Book: I am reading Wuthering Heights. I like it. It's the unabridged, originally intended version. Emily Bronte(dot dot) wrote the book. Publishers mocked her to her face. Told her to stick to poetry because it is womanly. She only listened a little. Her sister listened less. Sing it sister suffragette. She re-published her sister's originally intended work after Emily died, and guess what. It takes all my brain power to read it. She is brilliant. Her characters are diverse and feisty and beautiful. I have to look up words. But I am going to finish it. There are creepy factors to it. I wasn't expecting that. There is romance. I knew that would happen. So far, I give it 3.5 out of 5 cups of coffee. I don't blame the book. I blame my inability to speak like the English of the 1800s.

Television: I am watching the show Parenthood. I haven't missed one. I love it so much. It's my family: dysfunction, nosy family members, drama, hilarity, sarcasm, mockery- all in the name of love. It's about four grown siblings and their families. Right now, one of the sad story lines revolves around Christina- one of the mammas. She has cancer and she is going through chemo. She is the mother of three and usually pretty neurotic. Tonight, she decided to go out with her sis-in-laws to forget about her problems, but, three drinks in, her hair started falling out. The next shot was her shaving her head. It hurt my heart so much. It was just shocking and so real and so where my life could be right now.  I just can't help thinking how differently my tests could have been. How differently my family could be functioning. Our prayers could be for healing and not praises of health. If you like to laugh and cry in the same show, Parenthood is your show. I give it 4.5 out of 5 cups of coffee.

Movie: I finally saw Les Mis. I loved it a lot. There were a couple minutes when I felt too awkward watching the leading men sing into each others' faces. I am just going to be blunt. Their next move should have been a kiss it was so intense. There is a tiny chance I pictured them as cowboys with a broken back on a mountain somewheres. The women stole the show. That is for realz. They were raw and gut wrenching. Equal to their performances were Cohen and Carter. Brilliant. Some people cried. Not me. According to my husband there are two types of people in this world. Those who choose a warm heart and cold feet, and those who choose for their toes to be toasty therefore leaving their heart as cold as a dead stone. My feet are always hot. What do you want from me people? Watch the movie. I give it 4.0 out of 5 cups of coffee.

Music: I can't get enough of Bryan and Katie Torwalt. I don't completely love every one of their songs, but of the five I have purchased, I can't get enough. Their writing is splendid and legit. Their harmony is stellar. Their folky style makes my heart happy. If you need to jazz up your worship play list, check them out. I give them 4.5 out of 5 cups of coffee.

I wanna…

My throat hurts. Everyone around here has had colds. The entire break, people have been coughing on me and forgetting to wash hands. We have gone through several tissue boxes and bottles of hand soap. We have emptied vitamin bottles and orange juice jugs.
And now my throat hurts.
I wanna hole up for two days straight and do nothing but avoid sickness.
I wanna watch endless episodes of Friday Night Lights, my Christmas present.
I wanna hire someone to take down my Christmas lights and snap my fingers like Mary Poppins and simply smile as all of my decorations dance their way into the storage bin.
I wanna go to the massage lady, and then drive over to the chiropractor man.
And then I wanna get back in my bed to eat soup someone else made. With chicken and veggies and hot broth.
Then I wanna dream of an island that let's me sleep on its beach, where the sun is never in my eyes.
Anyone? Could you use a break to recover from your break before going back to work? Yawn.