..that every year at this time, from now on, this blog will seem dormant for a week or two. I have been busy organize our new school building (along with a gazillion coworkers), laminating, preparing my room for itty bitty kindergarteners. Busy busy busy.
..the muscles in my neck will never relax. They appear to be bringing friends along into their club. Picture a muscle holding his fish in his hands yelling, "WHO'S GOING WITH ME?!!" Only, in this case, there is no hesitation. Everyone seems to be in. Pray for my puny muscles.
..my hair hates this climate. It seems to want to imitate SNL characters: drunk girl, Jimmy Fallen dressed as Howard Stern, Mike Meyers being a phu-klempt Jewish mamma.
..I have so much to learn about so much. I cannot die. Ever. I just do not have time for it.
..my husband wants to marry me again. He said so.
..he will never call me his lady friend (as I have been asking for YEARS.)
..I may be able to convince him to call me his second wife after our vow renewal. Do you want to come? It's gonna be an excellent bash. I'll wear white, and he'll where out the words, "I love you." Except that I am wearing coral, teal, and red, but you get the idea.
..You haven't seen this picture, and you want to.
(Spent time with this beauty. She may be my number one reason why I am happy to live here again)
(Praise God with us. This sassy sweet bottom was just blessed with a house. Sucky distance from my being, but it will have to do.)
(cousins. They are just sort of awesome)
(Sorry. Were you expecting a caption? I got nothing)
(This high schooler makes me feel old. BAH. Stop it high schooler. You are so pretty. Try to be uglier. For the love of my neck muscles and your daddy's heart.)
(Thanks for your help honey. Giver)
(Dear Emma. You are my favorite teen in the PNW. Please visit again soon.)
My friends, Erin and Dan-O, once had a toddler. She is old now, but when she was an itty bitty sly thing she sneaked into the kitchen garbage can, where she confiscated a few stale Whoppers I threw away. When I caught her, she gripped her chubby little hands around those candies as if they were her last melons for the next million, billion years. I tried prying those puny fists open, but she gripped harder and screamed, "DON'T TAKE IT!! I NEEEED IT!" To that I cracked up laughing and had to call in reinforcements, because as it turns out, toddlers saving candy from the trash are infinitely stronger than me. This true story took place more than 15 years ago, but I think of it often when I begin to get the greedy grip.
We have been doing all of this back to school shopping. I really do love spending money. I love picking out school supplies. I love finding smokin' deals at thrift stores and dollar stores and re-purposing the oddest treasures into greatness. After two days of straight shopping, I left my body and viewed myself as the adult watching the toddler give a handful of Whoppers a new lease on life. I took stock and heard myself screaming, "I NEEEED IT!" Aren't you a little old for that behavior? Why yes. Yes I am.
Also, I am too aware of people who hurt and need and would really like some food. I have not taught my kids to be patient for things or earn them or choose the essentials so we have left over to give away. Oh, don't get me wrong. I wrote to God in my prayer journal this morning asking him for opportunities to give. He may have asked what in the world do I have left to give? There is a chance I had no answer. There is also a chance I made a disappointed face and felt like a schmuck. Just look away. I can't take it.
Now, I will be using this experience as a life lesson for my children. Not only confessing what I got caught up in, but I will also be asking them what in the world can we do about this now? Lots actually. But we will come up with a plan together. Then I will pray that they will not grow until next school year, so we can really get our money's worth. :/
And NOW, you may be asking yourself what this picture of Samuel has to do with anything. I will tell you. Nothing. It has nothing to do with anything at anytime, but you needed to see it. And, you are welcome. Someone give this kid his own show. No script needed. This picture was taken while he patiently waited for his cousin, Raine, to finish trying on her jeans. We just looked over, and there he was, on the couch at Children's Place, with the bib he picked out, and the face he knew only a mother could love. He wore it anyway, and here we are today. One step closer to having our own show.
Singing God's name: Yahweh- Thanks Chris Tomlin for putting it to a catchy tune.
The National Anthem: Seriously. Every time. It's my favorite part of every event. Olympic years I set records for the number of tissues this house sees.
A teaching on Joshua: Our hearts are linked. Some day a Joshua will live in this house. Even if he goes by another name. And he will have hair not totally unlike mine. And he will come with a nice tan. (Dear Africa, please send your babies here. Sparks, Nevada.)
When the pastor cries: Boys crying= really serious. Even if I haven't been paying any attention to what they have been saying the previous 30 minutes. I hear a hitch in their get up and I am a blubbering fool.
How about you? What brings you to a quivering lip?
I awoke this morning to my husband getting ready for work. He's a good man. In fact, he is The Man. Ask around. I am not even kidding. I decided to make something of my day since he was off to save lives. I mean, I want to have something to say to him when he comes home with the list of lives he saved on his 48 hour shift. Laundry seemed like a logical beginning. Then coffee. Then Jesus. No, it doesn't bother me that I did two things before I read my Bible.
I have had this discussion with people. I think God cares more that I am paying attention and coherent when I sit to learn and listen instead of insisting I open my eyeballs and pick up my Bible. I usually fall asleep if I do that. And, while I am sure God isn't offended, I am sure sometimes he thinks, "Silly girl. Too many rules." So, I wake up, maybe spend a few minutes with my groggy and still snuggly kids, and then make my way to my Bible.
Here is what I realized:
I take too much for granted. I feel like things will be there when I finally decide to get to them.
I have blessings
more than I know
I am not thankful enough
I have love
more than I show
I do not share it enough
I have time
more than I spend
I do not use it enough
I have a song
more than I share
I do not sing it enough
I have a gift
His name is Jesus
He alone is more than enough
I take for granted too much. I want to be arrested in my heart. Bleeding for those who are too drained after a lifetimes of grief to bleed anymore.
I am too lacking in compassion. I do not hurt with people. To be honest, someone will trip and I giggle a little and THEN ask if they are OK. Well, that isn't always a big deal, but I find it rolls over to the serious moments.
Yesterday I read a news caption on one of those tickers on the bottom of the TV screen. A pilot of a small plane crashed into the Truckee Airport. He died.
My first thought was a prayer, "Lord, please don't let it be someone I know." I felt terrible for saying it, even in my mind. Why would that matter? So that I would not hurt? What about that man's family? His mother? His wife? His kids? What did I just say? That it's OK for him to be dead if I am not affected? Is that what I meant?
So, I asked for forgiveness for my narrow-minded heart and began again. I prayed for that man's heart- that he would be with Jesus. I prayed for his family and anyone affected. I prayed that God would use this time to be heard by those left behind. I put myself in his wife's place and it hurt.
I read once that you should be a part of what breaks your heart. I think I get too busy to know what that looks like. No matter what I try, my calendar overloads. I want to be radical. I even know some of the drastic moves I need to make, but they are counter intuitive and they make me have to focus on things inconvenient and not self satisfying.
"Would you open up my eyes so I can see? Would you open up my ears so I can hear? Would you open up my mind so I can know? Would you open up my heart so I can love you more.
I wanna serve you my God. I want to give you all of me?"- Shawn McDonald
I want to mean this with all of my heart. I want to make room. I want to see all that God wants me to see. I want my eyes to be closed to all the nonsense that keeps me from living with purpose. No exceptions. I want to clear the stage.
I love this song by Jimmy Needham
It breaks my heart and makes me hopeful that I am not as callous as I think sometimes. It challenges me to seek.
Oh how I have missed you! And so appropriately, today's topic for Five Minute Friday?
HERE
go.
I am HERE blog world. I have internet, which means I get to participate in...well, the world. We moved into our new house about a month ago. I called almost immediately to have the interwebs installed. Several sweaty and apologetic men later, we finally have a hook up. And we didn't even miss all of the Olympics. Speaking of here, I wish I was there.
London, right now, is probably insanely crazy and traffic riddled and expensive. Still, I want to sit at at least one Olympic even in my lifetime. Australia would be a good venue. Somewhere in Africa would set my heart a twitter. But, hey, I am easy. I'll go to Rio. I just want to be there!
But I am currently happy with the here I am experiencing. New house. New towels. New neighborhood. New view. New stores to call my own. New city. Here.
stop.
Can you write on the topic "HERE" for five minutes? Link up with this Gypsy Mama and show us what you have got.
And to really celebrate that I made it back to the land of the living, I am linking up with Ms No Dots for a Friday flashback. You can join her by clicking HERE
For a thick-crust variation of Thin-Crust Stovetop Pan Pizza, use 1 can (12 ounces) refrigerated flaky buttermilk biscuits (10 biscuits). Proceed as recipe directs.
