Rebellion

I guess we all have streaks of it in our lives, but sometimes I feel as if sometimes my rebellion bone is larger than the next guy.

I am not proud of it. Sometimes it's worked to my advantage, but usually it hurts people. Mostly me.

And it's never about anything important. I realize I haven't had any water. Instead of drinking some, I think "what would happen if I didn't?" Hmmm. Then I have a headache, my muscles tense, my belly aches.

Rebelling against drinking water is dumb and seemingly nothing, but then I think "what if it's something?" What if it's like my gateway drug to something just under the surface? Far fetched? Maybe.

But sometimes we can take a step off the line that God has laid down for us. The line that, if you look closely enough, has our name written in delicate writing. Our path. I see my name and even my directions.

But I am foolish and easily distracted. I console myself by telling myself what I need is just a tiny step off the line. But then I forget to step back where I belong.

And then I realize what I need is just one step off the line. Now I am two. And then three. And then four paces off my line. I can't look closely at it any more. I can't see my name. I can't see my directions. The only thing that will fix it is taking my steps right back to that line. And maybe taking a few swigs of water.

Maybe if I just kept drinking my water the whole time I would never need to crawl back to where I belong. I would be there all the time.

Dear Rachel

I think you are pretty. I like your style.

I am using my blog app again. In the words if the French feather duster "I have been burnt by you before!" There is a chance this will all erase before it posts. This may all be erased or not. Or it may work and be for… the opposite of not.

There are Christmas cooties in my house. Colds but still. Lots of coughing. Sniffles. Meds. Addison and I like to sport our colds the attractive way. Cold sores. Awesome.
But despite all this yuck, we are anxious for Christmas. We have played games and watched movies. We have wrapped presents and secretly shopped for each other. (We have returned purchases we shouldn't have bought because someone may or may not have bought us that as a Christmas present) oops. We have shared meals and snuggled over coffee and hot chocolate. We have squealed at the first snow flakes. We have pointed out the endless displays of Christmas lights. We have prayed for those closest to us and those we don't know. We have laughed and loved and taken time for one another.

Hopefully, when all is said and done. When the last present is opened. When the last ornament is tucked into a box and placed carefully back on our garage shelf. When we find ourselves looking forward To whatever lies ahead. Hopefully then we can say "this Christmas we made a difference." We taught our kids to love and give not beg and receive. We taught them to notice. To remember. To realize. Hopefully.

Merry Christmas friends. Be blessed.

Quirky Technology

Twice I typed out a reputable blog post. Twice I pushed post. Twice my app deleted them. GAH. And those pictures down there, those are supposed to be in between said posts. They came complete with captions and back stories. Well just forget it.

So anyway, here I sit trying to make up for lost time. It doesn't work, but that doesn't keep us from trying. Especially this time of year. I am feeling it more now that I am a full-time wife, full-time mamma, and full-time teacher. We have been doing our typical traditions of advent and tree hunting and making time for others. But I don't think this will work. Our traditions are going to have to shift a bit. Watching a Christmas movie every night won't work any more because most nights are a school night. Major let down. Should I be this sad that I don't have as much time for television?

Christmas Eve service is coming. Is this something I want to attend? It's probably a valid tradition. Not one that we have stuck to really, but a good one for some people. But sort of I would rather veg out with my kids and hubby at home. My mother in law is coming. Maybe she will have a preference.  I just don't want to be busy because the event seems like the right thing to do.

For now, I am going to snuggle up and watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It's for the best. It's for the children. Look how much happier they are.

Saturday. Typical.

I try to savor every breath of my weekends. Some weekdays I don't get home until the dark is settling over my neighborhood. That means most of my minutes through the week are spent on others. I am ok with that. I signed up for this gig, and I did it with a cheesy grin of anticipation. Still. It's good to be the one held instead of doing all the holding.

We woke at our usual 7:15 this morning. This happens on Saturdays when the resident Jeep leaves for work. Muh goodness that's a mighty loud tail pipe you have there my friend.

I made pancakes. Checked some emails. Snuggled my coffee. Yes. I mean snuggled. Like it is a wooby and I am that kid off Mr. Mom.

I chatted with my kids and mumbled something about wanting a sign to know the right answer just as the sun crawled from behind an oversized-darker than usual cloud. Only then did I wish I would have asked for a sign for something more profound than drama show prices. It's like I was given a great chance to ask God anything at all and I settled for "Hey. Can I sit here?" Question session ended. BAH.

Alas. We accomplished. Jami Harder is my pal. She organizes and decorates. She is working with me on my house. So far I am trading her services for my crap. We accomplished much though, so I may have to find her a right nice present. She said our first sweep through the house should include sorting and purging, even the things we WANT.

She is mysterious, but her ways are brilliant. The two rooms we worked on today feel the relief of crud shoved in their crannies. Thank goodness.

To help her, we ran to the thrift store where I found a few treasures: a sweet headboard that is being disguised as a bookshelf, a copy of the book The Host by Stephenie Meyer, and a vintage sled. It's going to be beautiful hanging on my wall. Classic!!

Tonight we played a card game as a family (sans working daddy) and watched the first of many to come Christmas movies on tv. Love.

I am finally settled into bed listening to the pre-storm. The real storm is supposed to flood reno. Lord, you know what to do. Thanks for taking care of us. Amen