This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Anything

Jennie Allen wrote a book that is jacking up my boundaries, my ease. I have spent a year in a job I have thoroughly enjoyed, but if I am honest, I haven't loved everything else.

My house? Train wreck.

My kids? They could give Oscar the Grouch a run for his grumpy money.

My husband? I almost don't recognize him, but lets leave his mustache out of this.

My hair? No. Too soon to talk about this one.

I don't know why we honeymoonize everything. I looked at the wrong things when I thought going to work full-time was no big deal. As it turns out, I didn't get to stop being a full-time wife or a full-time mom when I became a full-time teacher. Instead, I went from strict priorities to "if I could just find a minute to drink some water or exercise or snuggle my babies".

This life is getting stupider by the nano second and I have no one to blame but myself.

I haven't worked out in a month. I don't have time.

It's been weeks since I wrote in The Book. I don't have time.

Bible reading? Here and there, but I am so tired I can't convince my eyes to stay open at the same time.

Confession: I haven't washed my sheets within this month. I know I need to. But, you guessed it. I don't have time.

I want to be radical. I want to follow Jesus and mean it. I want to be willing to say ANYTHING when Jesus whispers "Shontell, I see you. What will you do for me?"

If I am tired, I want a life to be changed because of it.

If I am drained, I want salvation to be the cause.

A quote from Anything, " from this point on things are changing. I am living for the moment when I will face you. I want to get to heaven out of breath, having willingly done anything that you -God of the universe-ask…anything."

Amen.
"Praise The Lord. Holy Crap"-Ellie Grace

4 comments:

melaroo said...

For what it's worth, i think you HAVE been willing to say "anything" when Jesus whispers. and it's possible that He has said "work this job" for now. saying "anything" doesn't necessarily mean that he's going to ask you to move to africa and adopt 20 children. in fact, for you, i think that would probably be an easier request than, "hey shontell, i want you to support your husband and stay right where you are and do what you're doing." and who's to say you're not changing lives? you're a teacher, for heaven's sake. you are tired because you ARE changing lives, investing in them. and look at the doors that are being opened to you BECAUSE of you working there. i'm not saying that God isn't moving something new into your heart. If He is, then you should listen, and process. which takes some time, sometimes. BUT, i don't think you should feel discouraged about what you're doing right now. i do, however, think you should change your sheets. it takes 5 minutes, for the love of all that's sanitary. the end.

Ben said...

I have to agree and disagree with Melissa. Changing your sheeting is important = agree. It doesn't take 5 minutes = disagree. We only have one set of sheets so changing the sheets takes around 2 hours.

Now that we're straight on that...

Evaluating life & re-evaluating life is healthy. If we're not careful, we can allow our schedules to fill up to the point where we have no margin at all, no margin with our time, energy, finances, etc. What can make it more difficult is that the stuff we give our time to can be "good" stuff. The problem is that we can't do everything, nor should we try. Simply put, do the things that God wants you to do... remember, easy yoke, light burden. It means you might have to say no to some of the "good" things you're doing. Sacrificing health, happiness, and sanity is not part of the gospel but sometimes it's part of being a parent:) As the creeper in "the Princess Bride" said, "if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything..." or something like that.
Praise the Lord. Holy Crap.

shontell said...

Thank you. And ahahahahahahaha

shontell said...

These may be the best comments any blogger ever received. I came. I cried. I laughed.
I am too busy. A lot of people are busy. I don't mind being busy with my kids or busy with things that matter. The "too" in my "too busy" means I know the things that really matter are suffering because I am doing things I shouldn't be, even when they seem valid. They aren't valid for me. I know they aren't. I am ready to scrap it all and get back to the center focus.