First, is the song Oceans (Where My Feet May Fail) by Hillsong United. Cut me to the heart. Separate my joint from marrow. Call me out on the water and dare me to break eye contact. Triple dog dare me.
Then I stumbled upon this little ditty on Pandora. That Jerk. She gets me to buy more music than any other music peddler. She has gotten to know me. My thumbs up and my thumbs down. Sometimes I think she only plays Rolling Stones to piss me off. But then she wows me all over again and shows me a song like Streetlight by Joshua Radin. He's in my top five. He could sing me anything. (SIDE LETTER: Dear Joshua Radin. Please sing me anything. Even if it's just the word "anything" repeatedly. I'll take it. You'll like it. I'm sure of it. Let's just try it!)
anyway.
I'm waiting for something. Well. To be honest I feel like I am waiting for a lot of somethings. I have looked about my person and realized I am remarkably unattached to my surroundings. My eyes are set on things to come, and I know that isn't actually how I should be living. If I keep it up, I risk missing it all. The good and the bad and what will go on to define me forever. I'll miss every experience. So, I promise to work on that, but for this minute, I'll keep my iPod on replay while I listen to Joshua (we are on a first name basis thank you) sing to me about the process of waiting for something.
Streetlight by Joshua Radin
I'll wait for something under a streetlight
It won't be long
Because it's dark it's cold
It's one of those nights where
There's something out there
Keeps me alive
But I don't know where to go
So I think I'll sit and stay here a while
Till I figure it out
So let the wind blow us
To wherever it says
We are supposed to go
When you want something but can't name it
It's under a streetlight
It's something you've never seen before
Open the door
It's something you've always been afraid of
It's under a streetlight
And now all you want is more
But I don't know where to go
So I think I'll sit and stay here a while
Till I figure it out
So let the wind blow us
To wherever it says
We are supposed to go
Let the wind blow us
To wherever it says
We are supposed to go
I don't mind the wait it's fine
As long as you know
It's the wait that could be the something
I don't know where to go
So I think I'll sit and stay here a while
Till I figure it out
So let the wind blow us
To wherever it says
We are supposed to go
So let the wind blow us
To wherever it says
We are supposed to go
We are supposed to go
I'll wait for something under a streetlight
It won't be long
Because it's dark it's cold
My favorite of all the verses is actually the bridge.
I don't mind the wait it's fine
As long as you know
It's the wait that could be the something
Because, guess what. It's the wait that could be the something. This is just how God gets to hold us the closest. And it's the time when he gives us the most remarkable breakthroughs and is able to share the most truth to build the most faith. So, while I wait, I am going to realize right now that the wait is actually the most important part. What comes at the end will be the icing on the cake. Because that's how God works, too. We get to tell him what we want and desire. We get to ask him to go before us and work it out on our behalf. And then we get to wait, under a streetlight, where everyone is watching us lit up about whatever it is that we are stirred up about. And sometimes it's just one of those nights that is dark and cold and lonely, but we get to choose to wait. When I don't understand, I wait. When I'm not seeing the break through. I wait. When I have zero answers and I don't know where God is taking me. I will wait and realize that he will let the wind blow me wherever he wants to- wherever we are supposed to go.
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