hey stupid people..go away

obviously getting antsy and irritable. today God is working on my mercy and patience. why do these seem to go hand in hand. i want nothing to do with either of them unless they are being bestowed upon me when i am being someone else's dumb person. sigh. this is the noise i made most today, which is saying something considering i have to make a noise everytime i move or bend, or sit or stand, or wiggle or breathe. i allow people to affect my mood easily when i am pregnant. this is difficult to deal with or rather easy to blame on pregnancy. i have less tolerance for people. like the lady today that insisted on turning left when it was clearly marked as a no left turn area. causing me to miss my light, causing me to growl, causing my attitude to slide greatly down on the mercy scale. got the kids delivered and to my next destination and another friend misunderstood my meaning when i said i had another appt at 11 to mean i needed to leave at that time. sigh. twenty minutes late. which made me 20 minutes late getting back into town to pick up my kids. a trend was starting, not with being late, but with my sighing and irritability. the true greatness of all of this attitude is that i have been doing a study heavily focusing on how not to allow other people's actions/reactions to cause you to sin or become angry/irritable, etc. i am about three weeks into the study. maybe i need to start over. :/ The upside is that i have been praying for God to point out times when my thoughts are not what they should be (edifying, uplifting, etc.). my prayer specifically has been to stop the thoughts as soon as they creep in and replace them with prayer. back to the down swing...i had to do this about 200 times today. do you think that is a bad average? Lord, thank you for making your mercies new every morning. work on this black heart. and remind me not to growl. :/

nesting

tweet tweet. as i am prepering for our last three weeks of second grade and pre-k with my little children it occured to me why people call this stage and behavior in pregnancy "nesting." we are learning about birds for our last unit of study and when i got to the part about bird behavior in the spring i had to laugh. i FEEL like a bird. certainly i dont resemble one (although my husband is still concerned at the skinny "bird legs" that have developed on my lower half since becoming pregnant. i say enjoy it for the rest of these five weeks..i will be back to fat in no time flat.) i feel twittery. i can't walk through my house without mentally redecorating. i have picked out almost all the paint colors for a house i have no money to paint. we have rearranged more furniture and found more uses for old objects in the last two weeks than i think is legal. even parts of the garage have had a going over. it is making me happy. exhausted, but definitely feeling less like a snug bug in a rug. after watching a special on tlc about how that family who just had their 16th babe and getting a tour of their rental property...a three bedroom two bath home, i was feeling a little greedy about thinking so often about having a bigger house. i was challenged. i started with asking for forgiveness for my attitude (aka Lord, you are giving me all these kids, can you please give me someplace to fit them!) and started sketching my entire house. i am amazed really that we have so much crap. i prayed heavily for God to open my eyes and help me to let go of the hoarding i seem to love so much. yesterday i took a very jam packed car to the thrift store of things i hadnt looked at in months. things i was finally ready to let go of. you know, like that giant fluffy blue pillow that has sat in my garage for 6 months, and that wicker planter i bought because it was on clearance at target for 1.90 and i feel that anything that is 1.90 should be purchased...even though in the last three years that i have owned it, it has never contained a plant..or anything really. baby steps. they are baby steps, but the whole family seems to be responding well. peace. it is amazing how God can add peace by taking those baby steps.

why men hate chruch

On my way home last night from a great CALM Easter day i listened to a man on KLOVE radio who authored a book called "Why Men Hate Church." very interesting. He talked a bit about boys/men and when they tend to leave the church and how many women these days are going to church spouseless, with and without children. I am very interested to read this book as i feel, and now so does my husband after discussing it with him last night, that this man seemed pretty right on. he wasnt saying that men hate God or religion or any of that. just that they have a hard time finding a place to fit and be comfortable. that a lot of people (esp. wives) expect them to be comfortable with sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings, holding hands with the guy sitting next to them, and saying i love you in regular conversations to share how much they care all because they are now Christians. he pointed out that they are still men, and dont like swarms :) i have even heard it said that some men run with large sticks to avoid swarms lol. he also talked about how the church paints Jesus as someone that can be difficult for men to relate to. meek, merciful, mild, always in that flowy white gown and smiling that mona lisa smile. (i added some of these descriptions) but the point he was making was they dont talk as much about him being "the lion of Judah" and what that means. that he got angry...really angry, that he had more sides to him than just femanine qualities. I can see that men would have a hard time relating to the Jesus we usually talk about. he also pointed out that usually the women are the nurturers and the needs we usually have in churches (that are voiced) are nursery/childcare workers, worship,prayer groups, meals for needing families. and men arent always jumping up or able to help with these areas. that we need to voice the doing activities that need attention. like when pastor was out with a shovel and mysterious bag hanging out his car window last week. i assume he was filling a pot hole. something my husband does for a living and would have been more than eager to give in this area. (you did a loverly job buy the way pastor lol) or pulling weeds, or fixing those door handles in the women's bathroom that dont work. these are things.. a list my husband can look at and say, "yah i can fix that, i even have the tools we need right here in my McGyver sack." then after talking with The Man about this author and his book he noted that there are a lot of areas the people in our church could be drawing in people by giving. it is the same ultimate plan as small groups, but more tangible. like having a change your oil day. anyone who cant or knows someone who cant change their oil to bring their car by. "tell your friends, tell your neighbors. no charge, we took donations already. sure your neighbor can bring her car, you dont have to attend our church, you just have to need an oil change, or a refill on your wiper fluid, or something along those lines. then for a few bucks donated to the youth, you can drive your car right over there and the kids will wash your car." talk about the ultimate man day. i can picture moses in his bikini with his little poster board now! another point he made was for the wives/girlfriends in these men's lives. something i wish i would have learned a long time ago. we feel guilty a lot of times that our other halves aren't going to church and we allow it to affect our relationship with them and God. And as it turns out...it STILL isnt our job to get him to go to church.OR to make sure he is paying attention when pastor is saying something "he really needs to hear" isnt that funny. sigh. someday i will learn. :)

i am successful

you know what is great about kids? they will believe whatever you tell them. liiiike my son knows that if he says "you are beautiful" when asking for something, he has a much better chance of getting a yes. and addison actually thinks that picture of napoleon dynamite is my husband. "addie, who's this?" as i hold out the picture. "dadda" she replies with a big smile. my work here is done.

why i like mike #9

( so it's been a while since i have posted one of these, but really people i am growing a person! it takes time ya know!) He comes up with funny things to call my kids. Like yesterday when Layla was angry that i wouldnt let her change into a skirt (her third wardrobe change of the day) and she slammed the front door, stomped down the driveway, arms folded so tightly nuthin was getting between those guys, and head bent down in almost a charge position, dh called her Henry the Angry Dwarf. giggle. i dont know why i thought this was funny. But then i couldnt stop saying "she's an AAANGRY elf." lol thanks Buddy.

life can be frustrating #1

Something is preventing the refrigerator door from closing and you can't figure out what it is.

holy cow batman

holy cow. what a great day. my daughter was finally baptised. after many months of waiting, she is happy to say she actually went through with it!! last year she decided she really believes and wants to follow Jesus. In our very own kidland, she prayed with ms. stephanie and accepted christ as her savior and has been seriously gung ho ever since. she says she really feels God is talking to her about being a missionary, "so if you want me to try to eat those carrots i will, even if i dont know if i will like them. cause when you are a missionary you have to put on your missionary hat and be happy they gave you any food at all. cause that is all they have mom!" (these are the things kids learn when their uncle and grandmother are missionary superfreaks lol.) so we have gotten her involved in some missionary training workshops for kids and prayed a lot and included a lot of other country studies in our schooling. she also decided she needs to learn spanish "cause i just feel bad for that little boy across the street. i cant understand a thing he is saying." LOL crack me up! anyway, we agreed that it would help her have a head start with her missions. Her life is really such an example to me. Certainly not OF me. i learn from her easily as much as she learns from me. i am amazed with how much she shares with me, and it just makes me feel rotten that i did so little sharing with my mom :/ SOOOO last fall when she approached me about what baptising is i knew it was an answer to prayer and God was really working in her. I was determined not to be the one to talk to her about any of it just yet, cause i was worried she would just agree, without really being ready. God not only worked all of that out fantastically, but on our way out the door my husband said he decided to get baptised TOO!! YAY for God! She was beyond pleased with this news, even though earlier she said she would rather JUST have pastor louie and Mr. moses in the water with her. lol. I feel so blessed. I am so proud of both of them. like i was just given a move ahead three spaces card in my candy land game of life. :) so thank you all for your continuing prayers. What a great blessing. And really to prove that God REALLY wants to give us life to the fullest, on our way to the pool Isabelle asked if Pastor Louie was going to be wearing his bathing suit. i said he will probably be wearing swimming trunks or something. she said "oh uck! i dont want to see his boobies!" ROFL! sorry pastor! my cup runneth over!