why men hate chruch

On my way home last night from a great CALM Easter day i listened to a man on KLOVE radio who authored a book called "Why Men Hate Church." very interesting. He talked a bit about boys/men and when they tend to leave the church and how many women these days are going to church spouseless, with and without children. I am very interested to read this book as i feel, and now so does my husband after discussing it with him last night, that this man seemed pretty right on. he wasnt saying that men hate God or religion or any of that. just that they have a hard time finding a place to fit and be comfortable. that a lot of people (esp. wives) expect them to be comfortable with sitting in a circle and sharing their feelings, holding hands with the guy sitting next to them, and saying i love you in regular conversations to share how much they care all because they are now Christians. he pointed out that they are still men, and dont like swarms :) i have even heard it said that some men run with large sticks to avoid swarms lol. he also talked about how the church paints Jesus as someone that can be difficult for men to relate to. meek, merciful, mild, always in that flowy white gown and smiling that mona lisa smile. (i added some of these descriptions) but the point he was making was they dont talk as much about him being "the lion of Judah" and what that means. that he got angry...really angry, that he had more sides to him than just femanine qualities. I can see that men would have a hard time relating to the Jesus we usually talk about. he also pointed out that usually the women are the nurturers and the needs we usually have in churches (that are voiced) are nursery/childcare workers, worship,prayer groups, meals for needing families. and men arent always jumping up or able to help with these areas. that we need to voice the doing activities that need attention. like when pastor was out with a shovel and mysterious bag hanging out his car window last week. i assume he was filling a pot hole. something my husband does for a living and would have been more than eager to give in this area. (you did a loverly job buy the way pastor lol) or pulling weeds, or fixing those door handles in the women's bathroom that dont work. these are things.. a list my husband can look at and say, "yah i can fix that, i even have the tools we need right here in my McGyver sack." then after talking with The Man about this author and his book he noted that there are a lot of areas the people in our church could be drawing in people by giving. it is the same ultimate plan as small groups, but more tangible. like having a change your oil day. anyone who cant or knows someone who cant change their oil to bring their car by. "tell your friends, tell your neighbors. no charge, we took donations already. sure your neighbor can bring her car, you dont have to attend our church, you just have to need an oil change, or a refill on your wiper fluid, or something along those lines. then for a few bucks donated to the youth, you can drive your car right over there and the kids will wash your car." talk about the ultimate man day. i can picture moses in his bikini with his little poster board now! another point he made was for the wives/girlfriends in these men's lives. something i wish i would have learned a long time ago. we feel guilty a lot of times that our other halves aren't going to church and we allow it to affect our relationship with them and God. And as it turns out...it STILL isnt our job to get him to go to church.OR to make sure he is paying attention when pastor is saying something "he really needs to hear" isnt that funny. sigh. someday i will learn. :)