Thanks Friend.

My friend No(dot dot) el inspired this post with her blog topic. We are in full spring cleaning mode over here. We have a ridiculous amount of things we are giving away and hopefully selling in a couple of weekends at a neighborhood garage sale.

We have decided to stay put rather than finagle a new house for the Brewer Clan. There were too many what ifs and too many things to wrangle to make it work. Sometimes it is necessary to step out and follow God even if nothing seems to be adding up. Other times God asks you to step out and then allows you to step back once you have made a wise decision and followed him. We are experiencing the latter. It is interesting to be in this space, but I like it much better than pressing my own way, only to have it all fall apart once I am done throwing my tantrum and God has let me have my way.

I don't want to do anything because I have won an arm wrestling match with God. I want to focus on being in God's will and being grateful for the blessing he is giving me.

Anyway, off topic!!

For any of you interested in amphibian life, we have a really great turtle that needs a new home. In our attempt to downsize our belongings, our stress, and our responsibilities, we must say good-bye to Miss Daisy. She really is a great pet. She even has a sweet tank, a gold fish friend, and a pacostimus that works wonders with the algae. Let me know.

I am Seriously NOT making this stuff UP!!!

I know you have all heard that there are two kinds of people in this world- those who love Neil Diamond and those who don't. But those are not the two types of people I am going to talk about right now lol. I am going to discuss the "book smarts" and the "street smarts." For those of you who feel you are a fine balance of both, I am here to burst your bubble and say there is just no such thing. My sweet Layla Grace is turning out to be incredibly book smart. I think you know then that she is a bit lacking in the common sense. She is not at all dumb, just incredibly gullible. BUT without her we wouldn't get to hear super stories created in the depths of her churning wheels like this one:

Scene- Yesterday- Mike stays home from work; he is still in bed; kids and I are getting our morning going.

Addison(stumbles across some of Layla's nursing souvenirs: a large rubber glove and a doctor's mask.

Addison(mask on, glove on, with hand up in a "let me check your prostate" position:

Mommy, FUNNY!

Me: Yes, Addie, you are very funny. Go get Daddy. Tell him to "bend over, Daddy!"

Addison: Funny mommy!!

Addison runs quickly to the bedroom where the innocent man is dozing.

Addison(in a loud voice): BEND OVER, DADDY!! HA HA HA FUNNY!!

Meanwhile, we are all giggling in the other room. Addison runs back out to the living room.

Eli: HA HA HA HA Did you say it, Squirrel?

Layla (confused look) :Did he bend over? : /

Me: ROFL!!!!!!

And the dirty talk just keeps on coming!!

So, I have to backtrack before I tell the story I came here to share. Sorry, Gina. You know I love you, but this was just too funny to keep to myself.

Some time back, Addison was doing what two year olds do when they are naked: getting familiar with their "region." She kept shouting "my butt, my butt!!" then she would giggle and run. When I finally tackled her, I, in a very mommy way, explained that that isn't her butt; that is her vagina. (sorry boys. No one really likes to say that word lol) She said "oh, sorry (giggle giggle) Gina." Gina-as in my friend's name. I didn't bother to correct her.

Fast forward to a couple days later at the dentist's office where my friend, Gina, is our Dental Hygienist. Addison, who we all know as uncooperative, was more than willing to do whatever Ms. Gina told her...only she couldn't seem to remember her name was Gina (Geena) and not G-eye-nah! Sigh. I was cracking right up, but poor Gina. I explained what was happening, but every time Addison had to talk to her, she insisted on using her "name."

Gina: did she just say it again?

me: cracking up!! YES!!

Again, fast forward to two days ago. I was changing Sam's diaper and Addison suddenly became nosey. She said "oh, Sam's Gina." I told her Sam doesn't have a Gina, lol. stop saying that. "she said, "oh-sorry. His genius." I lost it. She didn't get what I meant when I said "I am sure he would like to think that is his *genius!!" LOL

Math

So I am in the math for dummies class, and it is going about how I expected: very sadly. I am relieved that I don't have my usual six papers due in the next five weeks, but my teacher (if you want to call him that) has successfully taken any happy notes right out of this class. I am a words/people person. HE is a numbers/nerd person. We aren't exactly compatible.

When I listen to him explain things, I am reminded of those people visiting a foreign country but speak none of the native language. They are reduced (by their own choice) to moving their mouth largely and slowly while shouting their words in hopes to be understood. Why people think this works is beyond me.

When I worked at a school in Vegas, I had the great experience of working with pre K/K deaf and hearing impaired kids. I found myself trying this strange tactic. The look I received regularly was one of laughter and sadness. They both thought I was hilariously idiotic and sad for themselves that I was their teacher. Sigh.

This is precisely the look I find myself giving to this poor man in charge of teaching my class. Despite his slow speech (not at all for my benefit, but more likely the after effects of his happy hour celebrations) and his obscenely large hand movements, I am just not getting what he is trying to communicate. If I had to tell you everything I have learned based on his communication skills, I would have to say birds with former full beards often get pulled over in the airport for mistaken identity. Yes, I realize this has nothing to do with Algebra. It does seem to have a large deal to do with why I am not learning math from this man.

Thankfully, I remembered my ear plugs last night. I was able to tune out every nonsensical thing he had to say and work with my team. I got almost all of the answers right. Maybe I should ask the University for a raise in pay.

Baby steps

Who knew buying a car could be so chatty. My poor husband. HA! He found us this very pretty vehicle, but the guy selling it has serious chatting skills. I realize this can be a great skill, but it is nothing compared to nun-chuck skills or drawing skills.
The greatest part? On a whim, or prompt from the Holy Spirit, my husband decided to check the Las Vegas RJ classifieds after lots of slow luck in the car hunt. He called these people and they were vacationing in Reno..with the van! He ran out to see it, and they fell in love with Layla Grace. I recommend taking her to any deal.
We are in negotiation with the good ole chatty doctor.
Will keep you updated. Meanwhile, pray for my incredibly
UNchatty husband to be merciful lol.

oh my

Isabelle and I had the second stage conversation of "THE TALK." ACK!! I will spare her the possible embarrassment and just share my favorite line.

From the mouth of my baby ::sniff:: amid fits of giggles- "WHAT! Like the DOGS when they want to have babies??? ::gasp:: YOU AND DADDY h-u-m-p??!!"

and yes, she spelled it out. I nearly ran the car off the road to keep from laughing hysterically.