This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Doubt

OH THE DOUBT.
Where do you stuff it when it is too big to fit anywhere inconspicuously?
So, suckiness is happening. My first reaction is a desperate need to have an answer to the questions.

Then, I said, "Lord help me not to need answers."
This is the toughest spot I have ever found myself in. God has equipped me to be a problem solver, a leader, a go-getter, a warrior, a take-no-crap-from-nobody girl. He has also created me just as he created everyone else: in need of Him alone.

So as I look around me, I am scrambling to find that sweet spot in the center of the scales. That place that I can remain without tipping the balance too far in my direction. That place that means I give over and give in so I can lean in to God and not on me. That place that seems impossible to see because I am clouded. I can only see immediate and worry. I want to see that place. I am afraid it isn't going to come in one sweeping movement though. It is likely to come in super small steps and be there long before I realize. That is usually how it works. I cannot do that; I can only be available for that.
So, I just get to do what I can to keep on that path. I just get to be obedient in the little things. This is where my scandalous friends would tell me to pull up my big girl panties and deal.

Well, I AM DOIN' IT! Don't watch though. I don't do well with an audience.

2 comments:

noel said...

Girl, you were born for an audience!

SO you know I don't like to thump people with scriptures all the time as if to say "here read this, it will solve all your problems" but this scripture came to mind after reading your post and i am being obedient to give it away.

Felt led to give you Numbers 11:11-17 You just like Moses are a leader, but even leaders need a little help sometimes and God always provides, ALWAYS!

love you friend <3

Shontell said...

:) Thanks friend. I like you.The end.