Diligence

Diligence has never been my strongest attribute. I try to focus on the spirit of procrastination rather than the spirit of self control (which leads to accomplishing instead of staying up all hours watching Friends). I find myself being challenged in nearly all areas of my life with this funny D word.

• We are rounding the end of the school year, and as much as I would LOVE to have a paycheck all summer, I am really looking forward to a break from my work responsibilities. Really, I would just like a change of pace. I enjoy routine, but too little change can lead to monotony. I need to be diligent.

• I am week two into a 6 week Bible study. Week one I was gang-busters out the gate. This week's focus is counter intuitive to my learning style, so the challenge is greater. Last week, I diagrammed verses from the Bible for more clarity. Easy as pie (whatever that means). But I loved it. Like I love pie, so I guess it's a good metaphor after all. This week, we are supposed to picture the scene, picture ourselves there, and put ourselves into the shoes of each character of various parables. My ADD kicks in and my mind wanders. Can't I just read it and then write about it? Can't I just talk it over with someone? Can't I just fill out a worksheet or something? Can't I... Can't I....? Fine. I need to be diligent.

• We have begun the overwhelming (and not going well) journey of a debt free life. I am super uncomfortable, I feel like washing my hands of all of it, and God is opening my eyes to what His word says about the whole thing. So, of course, now I am feeling conviction and the need for repenting. To top it off, we are the poorest we have been in well over a decade, only this time we have all these short people to consider. I am aggravated, and honestly, I find myself mulling over the idea that God could be doing more. Clearly He has done enough. Clearly I am feeling sorry for myself. Clearly I do not know God well enough. Clearly my angry eyebrows are blocking my vision. I need to be diligent.

• I know God has called me to be a writer. He has dropped a bundle of words in my lap and is asking me to arrange them between a front and back cover. I now have to find the brawniness to pull up my bootstraps bootstraps and keep writing. I have much to say, but I am trying to disregard all that and focus only on what God wants to say through me. But, along with my hair, my head is very not small. I am a large opponent to myself, so it takes a while to settle in and fight myself down so I can hear what needs to be heard. I need to be diligent.

Can You Tell Me Why

• every time I log on to Firefox it wants to update me, even if I have in fact only updated minutes before signing in?
• mice want to eat through my wall, literally, eat through my wall?
• I can't grasp being content like Paul?
• I suffer from allergies on snowy days?
• teenagers must fight against showering?
• I make plans to work out, but instead of seizing the moment, I wait, and then sleep on my couch instead?
• some people do not laugh at The Breakfast Club?
• we do not have our own television show?

You Are The Music In Me

Bible learning I can grasp. I love this song. Don't forget to pause the music over there. See me pointing?

Hilarious

Watch this.

Back to the Living

I have been sick for EVER. OK not forever, and I know there are people who really have been sick their whole lives, so I shouldn't complain. But MAN, when a family depends on their mamma the way my big family depends on a girl like me, being sick can really change the mood.

I have noticed a lack of happiness, laughter, and kindness. I no longer want to fall asleep on the couch and pretend not to hear. Now that I am on the mend, it's time to get back to my typical in your face approach to parenting. Sometimes this looks like a stern warning. Other times it looks like an impromptu musical. Always though, it looks like taking account for ones actions.

You break it, you buy it. You spill it, you clean it. You take it out, you put it away. You hurt it, you mend it. You complain about it, you come up with a better solution. Today, I spent my time paying attention to the tones and words and under current of grumpiness in each of us. Then, I used proximity and the previously mentioned in your face approach to nip those attitudes in their buds. Finally, I realized I am exhausted because parenting is a lot of freaking work. In the eloquent words of those WipeOut hosts, "Good night, and big balls."

Ode

I realize heroes usually posses stellar qualities in several areas of their lives, but I don't hesitate to say Whitney Houston was one of my life long heroes. She gave me a voice to sing, and stage moves to practice. I loved her. My heart is very sad that she has died. Her rendition of The Star Spangled Banner is by FAR the BEST performance ever. They used to play it before every movie played on the military base, and I cry no matter how many times I see it. I miss her already.

The Truth Is

I have been too sick to focus on creating a blog.

I have eaten more sugar this week than I wanted.

I have guilt over several favors or responsibilities I am supposed to be attending to.

I am feeling slightly overstretched, so I am reverting to my old tactic of ignoring everything.

We need the money, so my schedule can't really change.

I wish my husband's love language was quality time; he would feel a lot more loved these past several weeks I spent coughing on my couch.

I hate how much I am missing my kids.

I am not scared that my daughter will be in high school next year; she is amazing, and God has big plans for her.

I wish I could take a vacation from my problems. With my husband. and my kids. and a nanny.

Madonna's half time show scared me until the final song.

I too would like to experience a gospel choir back me as I sing.

I like that Sam randomly breaks into versions of Flag of America, a song he learned from Ms. Jessica, his preschool teacher.

I wish the Super Bowl commercials were funnier this year.

I wish I could afford to send Samuel to his kindergarten full-time, which is really only part-time, but it's everyday.

I wish I had an office in which I could work on my book and hang up my research.

I would probably be lonely as my love language IS in fact quality time.