Addison in Rare Form

Seriously, this girl gets weirder by the minute. Yesterday, her big brown eyes met me at the door full of tears of rejection and she claimed no girl anywhere would play with her! I asked if she wanted to come with me to run errands. She was instantly better and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized I was just duped by a five year old. First stop- Home Depot.

Scene- Garden center check out line. Beautiful weather, birds fluttering and chirping, flowers and shrubberies setting a melancholy scene.
Addison's voice cuts through everything: Mommy, why DID you take your shirt off in the car?
Mommy: (eyes wide stares blankly at clerk and mumbles) I had a tank top on underneath. :/
Clerk: hysterical laughter
Mommy: Thanks Addison. Sigh.

Second and last stop for the rest of our lives- Walmart.
Scene- Walmart check out line (sensing a theme?) Well, there isn't anything pretty about the inside of Walmart, but it was surprisingly quiet. (Of course it was.)
Addison: (looks at her mother, hands up as if she were surrendering) Sheesh Lady! You aren't even my mother. You are a stranger. Stranger Danger!
Mommy: blink. blink.
Addison: (laughs maniacally)
Mommy: (after realizing people are looking) Addison! You can't say that!
Addison: (nonchalantly) Why? What's the big deal?
Mommy: (Eyes wide) THE BIG DEAL IS THAT THE POLICE WILL TAKE ME TO JAIL!
Addison: (maniacal giggling then muttering under her breath as if she were threatening to say it louder) stranger danger. stranger danger (and she continues muttering all the way out to the car).
Mommy: Thanks Addison. Sigh.

Goodbye forever.