In the cookie of life, you are the chocolate chips. I know people take that to mean as a friend, they are the sweetest part of the cookie. But, if we have ever had a conversation, you know I don't buy that. It really means friends make things messy and cause you to require a napkin. That really has nothing to do with my post, but I am here to amuse myself!
On to the point. A friend found me recently. She is a woman I was incredibly close with for a short time while The Man and I lived in California. This time in my life was nothing to be replayed as I was certainly pushing the boundaries God had carefully laid out for my life. I still have guilt for some of the choices I made during this time, but I know I am forgiven. Probably even by her. I was so excited to hear from my old friend...she isn't old HA!, just our friendship. While I waited for her phone call, I found myself rehashing stupid mistakes and immature behavior I so graciously displayed in those days. I felt that I wanted to ask God for forgiveness all over again. But then, I remembered that God really does love me as far as the east is from the west (just like that song says). I don't have to relive those times. In fact, dwelling on them is giving party to the dark side. AAAND, considering I am not that big of a Star Wars fan, it was easy to get back to what God wants my focus to be. It is easy for me to get stuck in the past- whether I am reminiscing good or bad things. I want to focus more on being here, right now. I want to be more purposeful. If I get hung up on everything I am doing wrong or the negative influences in life, I will miss that "fullness" God mentions in Jeremiah. And in the wise words of Steven Tyler, "I don't want to miss a thing."
11 comments:
Oh Shonse,
You are the wind beneath my wings,
when life gives me lemons, I make you, and if friends were flowers, I'd pick you!
I think you are gay.
Good blog! I am doing a womens study right now called Apples of Gold (really good!) and the last lesson was on Jeremiah and submission to God's will!! So, who's the friend from Cali????
Nuh uh, you are.
You were a REBEL, weren't ya?
figured it out! lol
I really do hate those gay sayings about friends. I'm more the type to say, "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
I just realized that I can't be friends with you anymore since you aren't a big Star Wars fan.
oh shudder Erin S. Are you part of the nerdery?
I am a part of the nerdery. A big part.
Receiving & living in God's forgiveness is one of the hardest things for me - because somehow, shouldn't I have to pay a bit for what I did? People can be reminders of my stuff, because not only do God & I know what I did, they do too. And it makes me feel shame all over again.
And then I remember forgiveness. Which usually means that I'm singing "Nothing but the blood of Jesus" softly to myself. A lot.
Love your blogs Shontell. You're awesome. Hows the man's new post? How's life? What's new?
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