reflecting

So ten years ago today was a Saturday. I woke up at 5:30, made some meatballs (about 300) and tried to force myself to eat some breakfast. Toast I think. More emotions were flowing through my mind that day than the puberty years. Exhausted, anxious, excited, scared, a little sad, joy, overwhelmed. It was all very sureal. I remember thinking I would never make it this far. A week before I was driving for my final fitting in the fast lane on the freeway. A car in the opposite direction came up onto the block wall divider and slid for about a hundred feet. His mirror, antenna, and a whole lot of his paint showered my car. I could see him. Looked right in his eyes. I prayed...more like, "Jesus, no." And at the last second before our windshields collided he flipped back down into his lane. I think my heart started beating. It must have, right? All girls have a breaking point before such a big event. Mine came the next morning. It was okay though. It was only the second time in two years I needed to cry, and he was there. Just there next to me. Reassuring me, not fixing me. It worked. We made it to Saturday, meatballs, decorating, hairdos and nail appointments. Juggling everything. I felt like a ring leader at a circus. A very chaotic circus. But then that part of the movie comes. You know when you see him and everything else becomes blury. The grip on my Father's arm was so tight. Almost like i wasn't ready to let go. There were so many faces, at least the pictures tell me there were. I could only see one. That one. The one that would be mine forever. My kisses. My winks. I think I was walking. These are the details you lose within the movie blur. I made it. WE made it. There was talk of rings. There was something about pancakes :) and then there was "You may kiss the bride." Perfect. I don't remember anything. Just that it was perfect....and finished. Thanks for the perfect day. Happy 10th anniversary honey :)