I love finding lost funniness. While unpacking the past few weeks, I have come across a lot of memories. The following is a journal entry from sometime around 2004.
"Mommy! I have to go potty!" Eli said, holding out the "o" in potty. I jump to my feet to reassure my two year old that I think potty training this instant is as important as he does. Even though in my mind my eyes are rolling, my arms and legs are suddenly 40lbs. each, and I just know this is going to be another false alarm. Sigh "RUN! RUN! RUN!"
I swoop him into my arms and onto the potty. My bathroom is the closest so that is where he lands. This means I have to use his bathroom because of course the second he sits down, the dam on my bladder releases so that my Dr. Pepper is knocking at my downstairs door.
"I have to go potty, too. DON'T get up." I try to say this last part slowly so he recognizes I think this part is important, but watching his reaction, I don't think he has heard me at all.
I run to the kids' bathroom. The whole time I am gone, scenarios of what I may meet when I return stream through my mind: a puddle of pee, little brown streaks smeared across the toilet seats, or a mound of toilet paper quickly turning to cement at the bottom of the toilet.
I return to Eli standing in front of my toilet in his oversized jammy tee shirt. He is using one hand to grab at the side of his shirt; the other hand is reaching under his shirt in desparation. Eli furrows his brow, really grimacing.
"OUCH Mommy! Take it off. I can't get it off."
"Son, what are you doing? Did you go potty?"
"OW!! GET IT OFF! I DON'T LIKE IT!"
Once I get a little closer, I realize Eli has adhered one of my pantyliners to his entire naked nether region, front to back. After a very brave minute and a whimper and a tear from him, i am able to peeeeel it off.
"Son, don't touch mommy's things."
"oh" he says in true suprise, "these are your things?"
As I lean in to hug him, he reveals his other arm is nicely lined with a super absorbant, extra strength, maxi pad with wings.
Awesome.
9 comments:
ROTFL -- in fact, I'm snort laughing right now! lol
~melody~
Mommies or daddies. They have to be somebodies...
That was priceless Shontell. What a great story!
LOL!!!!!!!!! That is hilarious. You always have the best kid stories.
Although I have to let you know that we all realize the only reason he put the pad on like that is because that's how YOU wear them.
too much. gotta love kiddies
(snort) your downstairs door (snort) (snort)
AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
did i tell you one of sol's inventions the other day that he almost brought to school was made up of two empty toilet paper rolls and a brand new(THANK GOD ALMIGHTY) plastic tampon carton that he rubber - banded to the sid of these "fancy spy glasses" to use as a lever for closer viewing i suppose. arrghhh!!! all i cansay is that i was so glad i caught it before it made it to school for his teacher to see.
good laugh shontell- btw i love finding old funnies like that, all time personal favs to find antique literature hanging around the house.
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