Tall Socks Make Everything Better

So, an update on my parts. Aren't you glad you stopped by? :)
I had a dr.s appointment yesterday with great news.

First, let me say that I regularly get obscure compliments about my parts. Let me clarify.

Many of you probably get hit on even if it's rare. And when that happens, it is probably something like, "Hey baby, nice (fill in the blank)." Not me. Well, not unless the man is toothless or the man is indeed a woman. I know what you are thinking- LUCKY (like Napoleon). I usually get the clear equivalent of being hit on from my doctors (who are not at all hitting on me) when they say things like

• Man, your bag of waters is like LEATHER!
• WOW, your bag of waters is really bulging!
• (and more recently) WOW! Your cholesterol panel was just magnificent! Really, it was amazing! (it was good for me too doc.)

It truly was. As were my chest and abdominal x-rays and my

ultrasound even seemed to go well this morning.

Well, it WAS going well while the female lab tech and I were cooperating-

her ultrasounding my belly and me hold the top of the robe closed over

my twins as she dug that devil wand into my ribs in search of kidney stones and other weirdness.

It sort of went downhill just after I had to do the pants unbutton so she

could get a scan of my bladder. We are both girls and she is a pro, so I

thought I could risk it. She did what she does and went back to

looking for "Walter", my strange growing development just under

my right rib. But then the doctor, who isn't a girl, came in suddenly.

So suddenly that I forgot my pants were sagging and my unsensible

cotton pink laces were out in the open. I didn't actually realize it until

he was unable to stop looking at them. Now, boys, you may not be

aware of this behavior, but GIRLS, it was like when boys notice great

boobs and no matter how inappropriate it is to look or how holy a man

pretends to be, he is unable to keep from glancing quickly until he forces

his eyes to stay far away from that region. Awesome. By the time I realized

what was happening, it would have been weird and obvious if I buttoned up,

so I just pretended that we were all professional adults and broke out into

fits of giggles in the dressing room. Then, I called my husband and told him

I made the doctor flustered and possibly stumble. I also mentioned that it

wouldn't have killed the doc to slip me a buck. Sheesh. For all of it, I blame

my husband who said, "sensible cotton briefs are for husband's work days, not home days."

Anyway, all that to say that kidney stones are likely, and "Walter" the lump is likely a pocket of fat or at the very least, something to forget unless it causes other problems. So the two things are unrelated. Odd, but true for now. I will know more concretely on Thursday, next week when i see my doctor, where I promise not only to avoid lacy under garments, but keep them tucked far away.

My money is still on Ben who said it is really a large nugget of gold and this is God's way of blessing us. Medical journals here I come. Also, if anyone has a metal detector, we could use it to detect said gold.