Layla Grace's Ode to Thanksgiving, and Her Dad, and Turkeys.. I think

How does your family cook a turkey? (the assignment)
(the parentheses are my add ins)

...and I quote:

Well, this year I'm going to grill it with my dad
(obviously not a true story as my husband has
never grilled a turkey). I would get to pick the
parsley and put it on the turkey. Do I know
how to cook a turkey? yes. I do know how to cook a turkey.
(use a dwight schrute voice for this.) Sometimes my dad
leaves me out there myself flipping it around so the other
side can cook. One time my dad went hunting for a turkey
he got one but when he brang it into the garage blood was
spilling everywhere. My dad and I went hunting one day
with my dad and we saw turkeys everywhere we shot like four turkeys.