This Where the Nonsense Turns to Makesense

..A large family working to perfect our sweet skills: Loving others, making an impact, parenting on purpose, living simply, and embracing sarcasm.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Revealing

God is so good at revealing. He brings everything together in the end better than any Seinfeld episode ever could, which is saying something. My morning coffee and God time went something like this: Prayers, Worship, Word.

This is an excerpt from this morning's prayer journal:

It's so much, this burden I carry.
(You picked up the wrong bag.)
I know. I do. Everyday.
(Let go.)
I want to. But I am double minded. I want to. I want you and every bit of what you have planned- even the more painful plans, but I have relied heavily on self-preservation my entire life. It's counter thinking to release this control.
(How are you doing?)
I am not well. Not at all. I am outside your will every second I hang on to it.
(Let go)
I CAN'T!!
(Let go.)
It hurts. My hands have been gripped around the ropes that hold this burden for too long. They are intertwined. They are fused. My knuckles are white.
(Let go.)
You don't know how much it hurts.
(Don't I? Does it feel like the cross?)
NO, LORD!! How can you even compare the two!!?
(Because you are. I know. Daughter. Let go.)
I am sorry. Again and again. You suffered so much more. Unbearable physical pain, mental pain, and we broke your heart. You CHOSE us and we chose to follow fear....like now. I am choosing fear. Forgive me.
(Let go.)
I'm letting. I'm trying. I am leaning. Will you keep reminding me? Because I seem to let go and then I pick it up again without realizing.
(Yes. See you in five minutes.)
Very funny. I am picking up on your sarcasm.
(I should hope so. I am laying it on rather thick.)
Thank you for loving me for who YOU are and not for what I've done.
(anytime. all the time. every time.)

Then I closed my eyes for a second and realized Jeremy Camp was singing these words to me:

All authority
every victory
is yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory
worthy of all our praise
you overcame

We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony- everyone will overcome

THEN, I turned to my Bible study, which is all about healthy living and not at all about what I thought I was discussing with God. It said to read 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5-

For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction.

AND, 1Thessalonians 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and HE will do it.

AND FINALLY, Deuteronomy 13:3-4
The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

Sometimes God works everything together in such an obvious message it's as if he is causing a bush to catch fire without really burning. Therefore, the only thing left to do is take off your shoes and praise him. This is holy ground. All other ground is sinking sand.
I see Lord. I SEE.

The rules for today's link up?
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..


There is a really good chance I didn't follow the five minute rule. :/


6 comments:

Hi I'm Anna said...

This is really beautiful.... and I am guilty of having a hard time giving it all to Him also. I could of prayed your prayers and heard God telling me the same thing. It's the season of life I am in, God is requiring me to learn to fully rely and trust on Him.

I came here from the 5 minute friday link up. :)

Natasha said...

hmm... loved this.

shontell said...

Hi Anna, thank you and thank you for visiting. I totally have you covered in prayer sister!! I just figure so many other women are in this same stinky fish pond. I am excited when we get to head out of this place and get to where the good fishing is :)

Natasha- thanks for stopping by and thank you for saying so.

Going to visit both of you girls now!

No(dot dot)el said...

This is beautiful Queenie. I really just love the way God knows exactly how to speak to our souls the way we each individually like to listen.

N. Rose said...

You are such a warrior. And a beautiful one. You will come out on top, I know it.

shontell said...

N. Rose. I like you more than butter. I wanna run to you. ooohooo.