Mostly

Mostly I've been up to my eyeballs. Detroit? Well. Detroit was the most intense couple of days I've spent on purpose. 

My days there included at least 8 meetings, but probably more, a new coffee favorite straight from the early 1900s when it used to be a butcher shop, and some very vulnerable hearts. Oh. And a spider and her baby egg sack cooked right into my omlet. The previous words are not a joke. Spiders and baby egg sacks are never welcomed near me. Never. 

After Detroit, I came home for less than 48 hours to cook, clean, cook, grocery shop, pack, and cook. 

I also had some coffee and missed Detroit. Not Detroit. Hamtramck. I promise that's how it's spelled, and I promise if you go there your heart will creak. Some forgotten hinge will rattle away the rust. 

Then began the second leg of my spring break journey called "Can We Survive Bodega Bay in a Tent Trailer?" The answer to that is mostly yes and then no. We left a day early, right around the time the emergency weather system said "seek immediate shelter". It worked out ok. Samuel found a sea snail the size of his head, my children all decided they enjoy catching crab and digging for clams, some realized they hate seafood, others realized they love it, and then we freed Rick. Rick the sea star. He's back in the wild. And just in time because we left to head home and got trapped on the winning side of a snow storm. This also worked out just fine because the winning side of the snow storm included a two night sleepover with my most favorite family ever and IKEA. Snow? What snow? 

Upon our arrival home, I broke standard protocol and cleaned out my van and started laundry immediately. No waiting. It helped that this may be the first time I've arrived home from a trip and not been completely exhausted. It helps that my children are older. It helps that we got to decompress a bit in Sacramento. It helps that we packed all of our favorite clothes, and if we don't wash them now, we will be hosed.

Also. It helps that I spent nearly all of my hours lying in the sun and reading a book. Oh teen lit. I love you. 

Shortly after the last bit of laundry was finished, the last precut celery stick remaining from our trip was eaten, and Right after I found my computer cord it was time Elijah's surgery. 

This kid broke his nose in 6th grade. It all seemed too painful to take him in for a rebreak, so we embraced his slightly crooked nose. Until he became a man child and not only was it no longer slightly crooked, it was hindering his breathing. Surgery. 

He's been down and out and sad and bummed. This mamma's heart almost couldn't stand to watch, but then I found myself just staring at him all the time. When he slept. When he sat. When he watched tv. I'm grateful he didn't ask me to stop. It's like he knew I was filling up wth him. I needed to notice his eyelashes, the curve of his lip, and his sweet face and fill up with him. We've been on this road with him for too long not to. 

So. Now. Now I have the capacity to be here and write and blog and share and breathe. But only just now. A minute ago would have been too soon. 

Which One Are You?

I often feel as if there are only two types of people in this world: this time it has nothing to do with Neil Diamond. 

This time I am referring to those with whom absence makes the heart grow fonder, and the other sort: out of sight, out of mind. 

Maybe you're one of these people who doesn't know which category you fall in, but I'm certain you are one or the other. And Id wager you're the latter. Like me. 

It's hard for me to try to have a relationship with someone I don't relate to. If you aren't even in the same country it's going to be a beastly time finding common ground. 

My now hubby/then boyfriend (let's call him Mike) and I got to talking in our dating years. I confessed that I am against three qualities in a man. My betrothed may never be a musician, a cop, or travel for business. I had my reasons, and I stand by them today. 

Musicians make fun flings. In my experiences (and I've had nearly four decades of experiencing musicians) musicians struggle with the reality of what waits for them at home when they are famous or fake famous or not famous at all. I can make my own music. I'm sure there are plenty of healthy musician/groupy wife combos, but I'm just not interested. Get your harmonica and get outta here.

Police have the number one divorce rate and many suffer from anger issues. Move your funny baton down the road. I like your boots, man, but no thanks. 

And world travelers? This goes back to musician mentality with an added dose of  if I got married it means I want to be near you. 

I used to think I was pretty harsh in my rules, but I realized I am a quality time girl. I need your bod near mine if this relationship is going to work. So, if you wanna show the love, visit. 

Of course I can be reasonable. My Izzy (15) is in El Salvador for ten days. I can remember her for ten days. But I miss her. And I'm bored without her. And I may or may not sit next to her bed while she sleeps off mission trip exhaustion. She will never know. It's fine! It will only get creepy when she wakes and I talk with her in my scroachy voice* and call her mrs. Taurance while using my finger as a spokesperson.**

I will be honest and say I am a smidgeon concerned about their college years. I mean. These are my kids. I love even their rough spots because they are my babies. What if they go away and they slip my mind because they aren't close by? I've been working on a solution. We are buying a sweet RV. the big ones. The mansion types. When we retire, we will drive it from kid to kid, wherever they end up, and visit for a month at a time. Then in the winter, The Man and I will hole up in Costa Rica. 

They'll visit. I'm sure they'll visit. 

In the meantime, I'm going to work at being purposeful with anyone who isn't automatically in my every day. Because I still love all of you. I just forget to show it. 

My girl comes home this weekend. We will watch an episode of Gilmore Girls and laugh before the funny things happen and quote it and she will say again that it's weird to her that I may be a real life Lorelai because "she tries to be funny even when it's a really serious situation. She's awkward". And I'm going to choose to take it as a compliment because funny is my safety mechanism. Ahh. Life as it should be. 

*dear Addie. Thank you again for this new word. Scroachy. 

**all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. 

Guest Posting: Missing the Good Stuff

Are you goal oriented? If yes, I would probably get you completely. Even if you are abrupt and cut throat about it. If no, I'd like to think I would stay your friend, but really, I won't understand. It's not you; it's me. I am SO goal driven, if I weighed 400 pounds and made it onto the Biggest Loser I would be more focused on winning than changing my life. There's a good and bad side to all walks of life.


To combat this epidemic, I will eat Ben and Jerry's frozen yogurt. Um, before you nay sayers count me out, you are not doctors or trained in the physics of frozen yogurt powers; I will not believe the drivel you present unless, in fact, you agree with me on this point. While we work through this (I eat yogurt, and you think of a witty comeback, I would like to invite you to read me at Just For You Mom.

This week, I am talking about Missing the Good Stuff because we are caught up in the Nonsense.*

*This writer obviously supports Nonsense. So much so that she is choosing to make it a proper noun.

Click here to read more.

It's Happening

For the last few weeks, some of my kids have been in school, I have been around the office, some kids have been at that very office, some of our teachers have been teaching, and some of my schedule has been schedging- know what I mean.?

But today, today we jumped into it all.
Homeschool day one- check
Teens in school- check
Dinner planned- check
Dance class handled- check
Smooched my husband- check
Dressed the part- check check

Some went wrong. Plenty went right. We realized some things that needed to change, and more importantly we remembered that we need to account for one another.

There are so many times when we are all running our own directions, and we don't have to worry about making nice with the people around us, because we will be on to the next thing in just a minute. When you take a minute, to be in this minute (or hour or day) you don't get that option unless you want fighting and grumpiness and an overall bad day. For me this applies mostly to homeschooling, but really it fits everyone all the time.

When we are put together with another person or a group of people, it's important to take a minute and account for one another. It's like when you have a small house, and then you move to a large house, and then, like the rest of America, lose your house and have to move back into a small house. You sit closer, you bump in the halls, you squeeze around tables, and you wait outside the door because probably you have less bathrooms. You have to account for one another.

It's not all bad. Bumping into my honey in the hallway? Yes please. Kids don't have a choice but to snuggle up on the couch? I'll take it. Impromptu conversations about how Sam's birthmark looks like a chicken leg? Classic. 

Tomorrow, we are going to practice accounting for each other. But for now, I am going to sleep. This mamma is straight. worn. out.

First Steps In Homeschooling: Your Resources to Getting Started

I know, I KNOW how overwhelming it is to start something as wild as homeschooling. It's a lifestyle. It's not like taking a new job or becoming obsessed with a new hobby or pouring every minute into your kids' extracurricular activity. It's actually like all of those. Before I scare you off, let me give you a few pointers on the best way I know to get started.

1. Find a friend: Talking homeschool shop with another mother is a great way to get ideas, keep perspective, and avoid frustrations. Co-ops can be a good way to get connected, but they may tempt you to be a bigger participant than you have time for. Look for balance.

2. Set a schedule: The amount of time you spend doing school depends on your family size and the depth in which you want to explore a topic. On average, I can get through a homeschool day for five kids in about five hours. Some days would run a bit longer if we found something super interesting that held our attention. There are a few factors that make up this daily schedule. Kindergarten lasts about two hours. First through fifth grade about three hours. Middle school and high school is about one hour per subject each day, but we always seem to move along a little faster. The important thing is to make your lesson plans, and finish your work each day.

3. Learn to multitask: Wrangling your home duties and your homeschool day takes mad skills. Find ways to work on home and teach at the same time rather than having your chores eyeballing you at the end of the school day. Fold laundry while your little one reads to you. Unload dishes as you give a spelling test. Make it a game and have your kids pick up five messy items every time they miss a math fact. Be creative. 

4. Teach your kids to be independent learners: The ages and capabilities of your kids are the biggest challenge or help. My children have mostly been homeschooled, so they understand what I mean when I say they have to wait for my help. They are independent workers for the most part. I expect a lot of them in our day, so we aren't stuck with homework that night or catch up on Friday. If you have all elementary kids, they will have shorter spurts of independent work. If you are lucky enough to have some space between some of the grades you teach (pipe dream with my kids 12 months and 18 months apart) you will find you can space your direct instruction time between your kiddos. Middle and high schoolers are primarily independent workers. You will set them up and let them loose. They will seek you out when they need help, or you can stop in when you have a sec. My kids are usually placed around the house, so I make my rounds. 

5. Finally, your very best starting tool for new homeschool families? Take care of you. Eat breakfast, spend time gearing up in prayer, check your calendar, plan for dinner, take a shower, make your to-do list with no more than six items. Take your time to chill when it's your natural down time. I have two; I don't really do mornings. I do coffee and read and pray and mosey. I also need a siesta in the afternoon. I wish I could take a two hour nap, but a ten minute catnap will have to do. At 4pm, I am fading. My lunch has worn out, and it's past school hours. I put myself in time out for about 10-15 minutes and snooze. I take care of me, so I  not so crabby about taking care of them. But after spending nearly every minute with my kids each day means it is fine if I call a time out. 

Homeschooling can seem a bit overwhelming. These five steps are not the end of the list, but certainly these bits of advice will get you headed in the right direction. As you get into finding curriculum and lesson plan ideas and even lesson plan books, you will see there is a great big world waiting to help you. Homeschooling families love to help. So start up there with step number one. Jump in. You'll love it. 

The Brewer Home School

We have homeschooled* on and off since my 15 year old was in kindergarten where she began her school career in private school. She is now in public school in an International Baccalaureate (IB) program where she is rockin it. My kids have experienced private school, public school, and public charter school, but we always seem to come back around to homeschooling. I'll tell you why.

You might be thinking we homeschool because we are scared of the people at public school. You may be thinking we homeschool because public schools just can't teach my type of kids. Or you may be thinking that we homeschool because I can't afford a religious education, I want my kids to learn about God and education at the same time. None of these is totally accurate.

In simple terms, we homeschool because it is the most efficient. It's fast. It's free of busy work. It allows for multitasking. While previously we have homeschooled using curriculum I wrote myself, based on the district's standards and with the help of a few mentoring teachers, this year we are schooling with the help of K12: an online public school program. We used them once before, and it was a great experience.

Pros:

• They send you everything. No seriously, we got three computers, two printers, all of our books (text and literature), enough tempura paint to cover a city mural, paper, workbooks, test tubes, a microscope, playdoh, clay, paintbrushes, a scale, rocks for science, math counters, play money, instruments, and on and on and on. Really great stuff.
• 
  
• They write the curriculum and tell you what to do each day. This was my biggest complaint about homeschooling. They swooped in and made this part all better. They know the standards. They know what works.
• 
  
• They have fun technology and tutors to help with less than fun subjects like algebra.
• 
  
• They level my kids and challenge them.
• 
  
• There is still time to do the things I want to do if I decide to do them.
• 
  
• They track progress and attendance.
• 
  
• They connect kids for social events, and not all of them are weird.
• 
  
• They give my kids rewards like $50 in Amazon gift cards for taking high stakes tests.

Cons:

• Having a large family, I want them to integrate our lessons more. Four science lessons is a lot for one teacher (me). It's just too easy to choose one topic and change it up a bit to fit different age groups. I'm still praying for them to see the light. And by "see the light" I mean I hope they get one of my fifty emails and do something about it (aka hire me as a consultant to write this curriculum).
• 
  
• Sending the supplies back was as simple as they could make it, but getting twenty boxes back to the post office was a little taxing. Still. Worth it.

We have always agreed in our house to evaluate what works best for our kids depending on our circumstances and their needs; we don't just assume we will homeschool forever. This year, it's what is right for four of my kids. As high school approaches for my two mid-kids, we will once again reassess. Or is it assess. Well that just looks like a swear, but you get what I am saying. No schooling answer is right forever. A dozen factors change making what worked last year not relevant to what can work this new year.

What is true forever though is that yes, you can homeschool your child. And you can do a great job. If you feel it isn't a natural step, find yourself some resources, ready up on it, join a group of other successful homeschoolers.

Check out my HOMESCHOOL tab above for resources, links to previous homeschool posts on this blog, and stories of our adventures.

If you have ever considered homeschooling, don't be scared. Be brave. It may be the best thing you ever did.

*Dear ABC check people. This is a word now. Get with it and stop underlining my words.

I'm a Rebel, Dottie

I was flipping through Pinterest one day and came across a DIY blog that had a well  written author and cute ideas. I saved the blog to my bookmarks. 

This morning, when I woke at five because my internal clock obviously functions on New York time (I don't have the answers you are looking for), I read my bible, read a devotional, checked my emails, prayed for a few people on my mind, read through my list of blogs in my bookmarks; you know. The yoosh. 

So this new blog, which has decidedly been removed from my list, hasn't made the cut. And it isn't just the author. Although she's slightly bonkers in her angry stage. Her readers and their comments hurt too much. 

She wrote about how tired she is of women being asked to dress modestly. She quoted scripture, confessed to being no longer Christian, and belittled men for being so simple minded. And like a true politician, she incited the riot, and then she cut bait. She had so many comments: back and forth arguments. It was crowd mentality at its finest. This is nothing like nonsense at its finest. Well. Not really. 

She blames the church. Well who doesn't, lady. It makes sense though, since God created everything. But in a way, blaming God (because deep down we all know he is the beginning and the end -it's why everyone on a crashing plane prays) just proves that he pretty big. 

She blames men. She blames society. And the most interesting point? When she blames rapists for blaming women. Weird but true. I'd love to see the research on this. 

My question isn't about modesty at all. It's more about why people get so heated over things that are so minor. 

Hear me out. Modesty is important. I know what you are doing when your boobs show. I know what you are looking for when you wear those short shorts and then pretend you don't see when people are looking. I have boobs. I get it. 

But what does religion have to do with modesty? Nearly the entire thread of comments was about "as a Christian". At one point, a woman introduced herself as a Mormon and preceded it with "Christian or not". Whoa lady. You better check yourself. Before you wreck yourself. (Is it her fault if these readers do not understand the rules of word modifiers? What she meant was this isn't a religious issue). 

And I agree. We all live on the same earth, but we do not all live in the same world. We just don't. I have never been raised in a male dominated country (although my grandfather might have sent me on a ship back to Lebanon if my family would have let him. He had hopes I would be a belly dancer. Aw. Grandpa. Funny.) I have never had sisters. I have never lived as a girl who DIDN'T have three older brothers. Our worlds aren't the same. 

My modesty levels were not set by the church. They were set by my brothers. And not because they were getting back to their Lebanese roots and bossing me as the men. They approved or disapproved based on their experience as dudes. And I approved and disapproved based on my experience as a chick. I never want my body to be a conversation piece, even as someone's inter dialogue. 

And someone along the way reminded me that one day I'll have a husband, and while I don't mean I am a possession when I say I belong to my husband, 

well. 

I belong to my husband. He belongs to me. It's even. We are gifts, not property. 

It's not religion. It's self respect. It's not men's incapable feeble minds. It's respecting others. 

Men aren't feeble. They are more than capable. They are strong and gentle and full of all the gifts God left to them : love, kindness, self-control…

Their shoulders are literally broad for a figurative reason. They carry so much. Why does it offend so many women to cover up a smidgeon and help them focus?

It's pride. We feel a certain way when we dress a certain way so we ignore how it might affect others. 

Less religion and more common sense. Because hey, if I knew you loved alcohol. I mean REALLY loved alcohol. And maybe it's caused you to slip up a few times, would I walk by you on the street and offer you a drink? Would I invite you to a movie or church or the roller rink and hold my drink in your face, daring you not to touch and being offended when you did? No. I do what most Christians do: drink in private and share a bottle of water with you ;)

Mostly what I want to say is thanks for being intelligent. I'm glad you don't attack one another in the comment section. "I like the way you talk".  

Accountability Is Not For Suckers

The best part about besties is the accountability. I love love LOVE that when I am going through something, or need some motivation, my besties call on me or text me up to see how it's going. Well, I am looking to all of you to hold me accountable. This place is gonna track my progress (and no doubt some set backs), but I'm agonna run.

There, I said it. I put it out there in the blog world that this girl is gonna run.

I have a neighbor who is in the same boat as me: too many donuts, too little veggies, and families that need. But we have both come to a point where we are believing that God wants us to take care of our bodies. This temple will never shine, but dang it, I am going to spruce it to the best of my abilities. So, we are looking at a race in Boise that is sure to give us a fun goal and fancy environment to run our little booties (soon to be little) off. Baby fat, they time has cometh. We have the app, we have the shoes, and we have the chubby middles that must GO! I don't need a bikini body. I need thighs that are silent instead of chiming in every time I sit down on the couch in a skirt.
For those of you with whom this may strike a similar chord, I invite you to join me. Meet back here regularly for weekly training schedules, tips and to-dos along the way, and a few great recipes to replace those well-out-of-your-calorie-range meals.
Did I lose you at "weekly training schedules"? Do not fret, friend. Here are your baby steps for days 1-3; I KNOW you can do this! So does Rob:

Week one (This schedule will run slightly behind my own):

Weekly Goal

Drink your allotted water for each day

•  Drink half your body weight in ounces (ex. 100 lb person drinks 50 ounces of water each day)

Day 1

Take a 30 minute speed walk; don't be wimpy. Move that hiney.

Measure your target areas and record the results

• bicep
• chest
• middle waist
• low waist (pooch and love handles)
• hips
• thigh

Day 2

Put it in writing

• What do you hope to accomplish? What are your goals? What size do you want to be? Why are you doing this? Think on these questions and more, and write down your findings.

30 minute speed walk

10 minute stretch (whole body, but focus on legs especially)

Day 3

30 minute walk

10 minute stretch

Day 4 OFF

Day 5

One hour Dailey Method (or other high intensity workout)

Day 1 of Running App (two miles at a jog/walk combo)

Begin taking vitamin D daily

Day 6 OFF

Well played. This schedule began on Tuesday for me because of our weekend out of town. This gave me Friday and Sunday as my days off. Tweak this to meet your schedule best. Happy following! I would love to hear from any of you about what you are doing to be healthy these days.

And So It Begins...

This week I was given permission to sit in on all the pre-start day teacher meetings in order to rub elbows and get in a few observation hours.

The highlight was the principal delivering the Sexual Harassment lecture with the use of PowerPoint. In his heavy Turkish accent, "Okay, this slide says (stops to read it) sexual harassment, don't do it."

I left with three sub jobs, about ten observation hours down, and hopefully was helpful to a few teachers.

I think my student teaching assignment was approved.

I have five months to work and save enough money to pay someone to keep Sam and Addison during that student teaching time, and spend enough time with them that I don't feel horribly sad leaving them to work a full time job in February. Sigh. I am sad already.

Homeschooling starts in one week. I am giving myself the week to get the kids in school, give everyone time to spend memories with Mike's mom, who will be here Tuesday, and a little time to have a day get away with my entire family including Mike's mom. We don't all fit in my car, so that should be interesting. We may pawn off Sam-I-Am. Any takers? Thursday and maybe Friday.

Still in serious need of downsizing responsibilities. Struggling with how that looks and not wanting to bail on anyone or anything. Going to pray a bit more, but thinking you all may only see my shadow until July. It doesn't mean I don't love you.

Goodbye forever. (line stolen from PW)

Hecticality

Yah, well, it SHOULD be a word. It would perfectly describe the life I have been experiencing the past week. Also, yawning describes my life. I have been so insane, so busy, so focused on so many things at once, I drove my children home late the other night. We all piled, heavy-legged out of the van, dragging our goods behind us. We literally dropped everything just inside the threshold, and we got into jammies, brushed teeth, got a drink of water, prayed a super fast prayer, then dragged our worn out selves into bed. Lights out. We were lucky to actually make it INTO the beds.
The next morning, my brother, who now lives here, said he came home even later than us to the garage door open, all the lights on, and all the car doors open. Apparently we missed a few steps. See, Erica, other people are losing their minds as well.

Last Summer

We were anxious for the school year to start as usual, but it was more because last year was Eli and Layla's first year in school!

We were trying our hardest to get to the Thursday night Farmer's Market in Sparks, but never made it, not once, because we were too poor.

Enjoying our new house.

Loving Mike's new-ish job of being a fire fighter.

Scrounging enough money to send me to visit my fam in Virginia.

Wishing more of my friends would move here.

THIS SUMMER

we are just as anxious for school to start, but more so because one summer may just be too much to spend with so many little kids.

Still determined to make it to the Farmer's Market.

Still loving our new house, but focusing on the backyard instead of the front as much.

Taken to praying more often than daily about Mike's job stability (we are still waiting to hear if his job is secure.)

SOOO HAPPY our fam in Virginia decided to move here instead :)


Still praying more of our friends move here, but happy that so many of them love Reno enough to visit often. (Boardman, it's been longer than a month. When are you visiting?)

Good For Nuthin'

Seriously, this has to be the MOST unproductive
summer I have ever allowed my children have.
It's very likely my standards are just going
downhill. When we were homeschoolers, we were
year round schoolers. Then, when the Isabelle
started school, we took two months off for summer,
but still did a summer reading program and had
supplements all season. Last year, we narrowed it
down to just a summer reading program.
Which was still great, as the kids read for hours on end.
This year, we have TALKED about supplements,
summer reading, and other organized learning,
but it doesn't seem to be taking place.
Instead, we have played board games,
watched endless movies and DVR shows,
read like nobody's business, played at the park,
camped out at the lake near our home,
and generally just vegged. You know, lay like broccoli?
I don't know if we will get to a single
ARTOWN exhibit.
This is very unlike us. And still, we are loving it.

This is What I Want to Get Back To

These things make me happier.

Cutting out Stress..hmmmm

Health issues suck, especially when you know you are the cause of them. The medical advice I have received lately has been less than helpful only because I feel I am not able to do what the professionals are recommending-either I don't agree with them, or I don't think it will work. So far the most common advice I get from good intenders is

You need to reduce the stress in your life.

While I agree that, I don't feel I have much I am able to cut out.

I mean, sometimes my husband stresses me out when he forgets to tell me I am right, but I don't want to cut him out. Then, all those children certainly add a lot to my day, but considering they aren't involved in anything extra curricular, it would come down to feeding them and keeping up with homework that keeps me rushed. Depending on how you parent, I suppose you could cut down on some of that. I don't think selling them is completely ethical, though they would fetch me a pretty penny with all their sweet skills!

I feel the need to sell items to get my total money makeover started, but considering my husband is not at all involved in doing it, I feel defeated already. I am not saying this to judge him; just pointing out that he is more balanced than I am and he is probably right. sigh. dang it. SEE the stress he causes me (murmur murmur mumble groan.)

My job is a necessity right now because of money, Mike losing his overtime is stressful because of money, driving places is stressful because of money, paying for school is stressful because of money, grocery shopping is stressful because of money....

Maybe I am stressed over money. I need creativity, peace, and faith. The money will come, or I have faith my need for it will decrease.